Most probably, though I hide it okay. I think right now I'm coming to terms with it in my current work environment where I struggle to fit in really....-it's not even a lack of fitting in, I guess you can say it's the difference I see with how I interact and handle things vs. my peers and trying to reach that standard. The first month or two I actually had a breakdown where I cried hysterically in front of everyone (which was a great time) it was because I felt like I didn't know how to properly voice what I needed at the time or who the go to and on top of that I had some person screaming at me. Between coworkers asking me questions, her screaming, and me trying to process what I needed to say and how I needed to say it I had a sensory overload and cried. I typically can handle myself somewhat okay, but that was a bad one. In retrospect I think anyone may have felt flustered haha but it wasn't so much what the person was screaming it was that I was overwhelmed and felt trapped in myself sort of unaware of my surroundings. I also feel like I have the tendency to annoy people with questions, without intending to and I often take words out of context. I've been trying to make lists and schedules in regards to balancing school, studying, and work but in the past I had very very poor skills in regards to that.
When I was younger it was suspected by a doctor that I had high functioning autism (or ASD now) which was brushed under the rug until I was 19 or so which is sort of the missing puzzle piece I felt explained a lot. To kind of further back up the likelihood of me potentially having ASD (which I probably was diagnosed with at like 4) when I was a little bit older I was diagnosed with ADD by another doctor. Which I never felt fit me. When I was 18 or so a therapist of mine suspected it as well briefly during one of our discussions months in. But she quickly dismissed the idea as quickly as she came up with it once she discovered that I don't have to cut the tags off all my cloths and that I don't have a peanut allergy. Needless to say it wasn't very thorough analysis but she did recommend I see a different psychologist afterwards.
I've more of less come to terms that I am probably autistic but I don't know how receiving a proper diagnosis would help me at this point in life. It would mainly be for myself I guess. But what's the point in that...wouldn't change anything.
"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."