So, I've been struggling with apathy for years now, and to be honest, it's really been getting bad recently. It's gotten to the point where I'm lucky if I can will myself to go outside once or twice a week, or even will myself to eat a proper meal, exercise, socialize, or take care of myself at all.
Apathy is a really strange thing, it's hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it first hand. The best way I could describe it a lack of motivation and emotion. There are times when emotion will show itself, but rather rarely and the same for motivation.
I honestly have no idea how to approach getting rid of years worth of habits that just lead to me craving sweet release, however, I would certainly appreciate some advice.
I know what you are going through. Had it from age 18 till now age 63. Believe me, it makes life very complicated when you are involved with other's around you. Would you say you are "resistant" to getting along with others? I mean, it's like people are all rowing the same boat and are thinking, well, this guy here...he's showing "signs" or red flags to us that he's resisting us.
That's when it gets bad. I mean, all i have to do is see it written on their faces. Every situation determines the amount or intensity of course.
I start using my mind to keep my own self from sinking and telling myself i'm not stupid at all, i'm fairly bright. But then, when you do that, they see you're resisting even more by doing that somehow. Damn. I know all about this stuff.
One last thing...one of the worst.......when you're actually sitting with a group at the table, even family....and everyone starts to escalate the speed of which the conversation is happening. I mean like super fast. It's insane to me. I never was able to understand that. Everyone does it. I become so left out then. Left in the dust. It's like melding of the minds when that happens. What's going on with that ....anyone let me in here????