12 Signs You Might Be Suffering from Complex PTSD - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 03:58 AM Thread Starter
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12 Signs You Might Be Suffering from Complex PTSD


Cause erryone loves diagnosing themselves with terrible things.




Quote:
1. A feeling that nothing is safe
2. We can never relax
3. Can’t really sleep & wake up early
4. Appalling self-image
5. Drawn to highly unavailable people
6. Sickened by people who want to be cozy with us
7. Prone to loose temper very badly
8. Highly paranoid
9. Other people seem dangerous so we like to be alone
10. Life feels exhausting
11. We’re not spontaneous
12. Attempt to find security through various things like money, fame etc
----------------

I have nine of these (1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12). Prolly why my therapist thinks I have c-PTSD.

I'm not drawn to highly unavailable people (5). I'm not really drawn to anyone and everyone is highly unavailable, lol.

I'm not sickened by people who want to be cozy (6). I like cuddles! But if you sneak up on me and touch me and I'm not expecting it I'll jump out of my own skin. My startle reflex is amazing. People actually used to tease me about it in school. I had a nickname based on it and everything.

I'm not prone to losing my temper (7). At least, not directly at people. I'm much too scared they'll murder me.

I don't really like being alone (9), but I only really feel safe when I'm alone. So I spend all my time alone. But I don't enjoy it. I counted it anyway.

Some of my symptoms are actually more extreme than the examples. Like I am actually afraid that people might try to kill me. And I am suicidal all the time.

I hate the "you just need to love yourself" bs solution at the end of all these videos. Like, no, loving yourself will not make your cPTSD go away. Loving your child will not make you stop fearing for your child. And loving yourself will not make you stop fearing for yourself. Honestly, who started this whole "self-love/compassion cures everything" business? It's not remotely accurate or scientific. It's just feel-good nonsense.

Beauty isn't everything. It's the only thing.
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 05:17 AM
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Quote:
1. A feeling that nothing is safe
2. We can never relax
3. Can’t really sleep & wake up early
4. Appalling self-image
5. Drawn to highly unavailable people
6. Sickened by people who want to be cozy with us
7. Prone to loose temper very badly
8. Highly paranoid
9. Other people seem dangerous so we like to be alone
10. Life feels exhausting
11. We’re not spontaneous
12. Attempt to find security through various things like money, fame etc
Hm... 1, 2, 4, 5, 8, 10, 11 and 12. (Not all the time, but when I'm not distracting myself from the world)

I wouldn't say I'm sickened by people who want to be cozy with me, just confused and distrustful. And I'm not used to being touched, it feels weird, even like a pat on the back/arm.

And I do have a temper, a dangerous one, but I manage to keep it all inwards. I implode, rather than explode.

So... eight and two halves. Hooray.

And yes, loving yourself is a massive cop out in these cases. If I could have grown up loving myself, I wouldn't be in this mess, what makes anyone think I can change that now?

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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 07:29 AM
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Quote:
1. A feeling that nothing is safe
2. We can never relax
3. Can’t really sleep & wake up early
4. Appalling self-image
5. Drawn to highly unavailable people
6. Sickened by people who want to be cozy with us
7. Prone to loose temper very badly
8. Highly paranoid
9. Other people seem dangerous so we like to be alone
10. Life feels exhausting
11. We’re not spontaneous
12. Attempt to find security through various things like money, fame etc
I don't think 1, probably 2 (but I don't think it's related to this I think it's my lifestyle and some generalised anxiety.)

Not 3 I have really **** quality sleep especially recently so wake up feeling like crap, but I don't have trouble getting to sleep and sleep a normal amount of hours most of the time.

4 but I'm a bit of a psychopath so I don't always care if people think I'm predatory etc but sometimes I do, depends on my state of mind/mood and who they are. (I'm not sure this even counts since people have directly told me this on multiple occasions, both in a general sense and in a sexual sense it's not just a feeling from no where at least one person actually used the word predator like in the video to describe people with similar sexualities to me haha.) I think I'm more likely to just feel pathetic though when it comes to negative self image. Lacking in skills, kind of useless etc.

5 but I think it's mostly a combination of me being not attractive and coming across as unavailable too. Also I've had some bad experiences with clingy people.

edit: when I'm attracted to fictional characters they are usually fairly asexual or androgynous, not in relationships in the show, kind of stoic on that topic. My second ex wasn't technically asexual but before we got together he posted on Facebook he didn't understand why people liked sex, and isn't very sexually driven. As long as they're not too politically conservative I like when guys are kind of prudish. I'm turned off by sexually aggressive/forward personalities I think. Probably have a lower threshold for what counts as that than most. I won't go into further details here but this is taken to a pathological extreme I believe. And I think this just applies to guys because I seem to like female 'nymphomaniac' characters sometimes. So I guess it depends on how they express their sexuality too and how masculine they seem to me. I figure it's related to some experience in childhood when I was experimenting, but it might just be in born/related to my personality type and that was the first time it showed up.

I wouldn't say I'm sickened by people who want to be cozy with me, not that adjective. So I guess not that one but there's discomfort and it really depends on the specifics and it might also annoy me.

definitely 7 probably 8, 10 a lot of the time, 11. Not sure about 12.

9 is kind of hard I don't think I like being alone because people are dangerous but because I can't really be bothered performing, don't like small talk, some specific people are draining/incompatible with me, also social anxiety. Not sure I'd say I 'like' being alone exactly either. It depends on the alternative.

The meditation thing from the video doesn't apply to me lol, in fact when I was messing around with that years ago my brother was constantly joking that I'm a hippy.. But I usually can't be bothered because I'm easily bored and have ADHD symptoms. I do have a huge physical personal bubble though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YouTube comment
Yet another man lost to irony poisoning, cynicism, hyper-self awareness and the inability to be sincere.

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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-16-2020, 03:59 PM
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I don't like diagnosing myself with horrible things - or with anything tbh. I've got enough problems as it is.

Don't think I've got that one - the only bit I can identify with is losing my temper very easily. I do that a lot. Plus I get exhausted sometimes but that's probably understandable.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 11-27-2020, 12:41 PM
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I have all, except #12
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 11-27-2020, 01:14 PM
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Everything except for 12. If possible, then probably.

I do wonder if I have a personality disorder because of the fact that I can be very disagreeable and scared of being too close.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 11-27-2020, 04:24 PM
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Everything except #7, anger takes too much effort & only slightly #4 & #12.

So I'll say 10 out of 12






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 11-27-2020, 05:02 PM
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I seem to have most of these but don't think it would be PTSD related as I've never experienced significant trauma. Maybe just the constant drip drip drip of always being anxious accumulating into something more menacing.

1. A feeling that nothing is safe -yes, I have GAD so I'm pretty much always concerned about everything. I feel like everything around me is slowly but surely deteriorating /getting worse.
2. We can never relax -yes, GAD.
3. Can’t really sleep & wake up early -yes, impossible to fall asleep at night yet I often wake up too early in the morning.
4. Appalling self-image -I guess yes though I would not say it's appalling. Just generally negative
5. Drawn to highly unavailable people -No, I'm usually not drawn to anyone I'm too avoidant. Usually I find reasons to not associate with people
6. Sickened by people who want to be cozy with us -Idk. Not sickened but do not understand. Most people don't get close enough for this anyway
7. Prone to loose temper very badly -Usually no but this can happen when I'm overwhelmed or backed into a corner
8. Highly paranoid -Just moderately paranoid
9. Other people seem dangerous so we like to be alone -I do like to be alone. But I don't consciously see most people as dangerous. However, I am very anxious and uncomfortable around most people, so maybe subconsciously I see them as dangerous.
10. Life feels exhausting -Absolutely
11. We’re not spontaneous -Nope, usually not. Generally I am more comfortable with routine
12. Attempt to find security through various things like money, fame etc -I am somewhat obsessed with saving money. And not because I like money or material objects, but because of the security that comes with having a lot of money saved up

You live up in your head
Scared of every little noise
Someone's always breaking in accidentally
Using nothing but their voice
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 11-29-2020, 06:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by truant View Post
1. A feeling that nothing is safe
2. We can never relax
3. Can’t really sleep & wake up early
4. Appalling self-image
5. Drawn to highly unavailable people
6. Sickened by people who want to be cozy with us
7. Prone to loose temper very badly
8. Highly paranoid
9. Other people seem dangerous so we like to be alone
10. Life feels exhausting
11. We’re not spontaneous
12. Attempt to find security through various things like money, fame etc
Yes to all these. I always knew I was troubled from all that bullying from peers but it took me awhile to realize it had a profound effect on my psyche. I knew of PTSD but I always thought it was only mostly in war veterans. Well I've been fighting wars in my head and out irl my whole life. And it was constant. Made me suicidal, being rejected so much. That's why it's CPTSD. I knew it was hopeless to try to find online friends but I threw myself into because no one irl would be my friend. Sure there were times when I was genuinely happy but they were few and far in between and short-lived.

Late Bloomer or Dead Man, idk
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