A lot of the threads on this forum are about sex. Usually its because they haven't had it and feel that they are a failure for this. In fact I feel the same way , though the shame of being a virgin isn't as intense as it used to be.
Something I have noticed about the world is that people are obsessed with other people's sex lives.
They are either telling people what to do, or what NOT to do.If you are a virgin over a certain age (which can be as young as 13
, because I know that girls treated me like crap because I hadn't had sex in 7th or 8th grade o.O) they treat you like crap. If you happen to be promiscuous , they also treat you like crap. People think that this is grounds for abusing another individual, but usually I don't care that much about whether another person has had sex with 500 people or zero people. It's none of my business.
I know that women were traditionally supposed to be "pure". In some parts of the world, women can be KILLED by their families because they lose their virginity before marriage and go to great lengths to hide this, even having plastic surgery to restore their hymen. Men of course are supposed to be studs and have sex with everything that moves, even if that goes against their personality.
However, in modern-day America, women are increasingly shamed because they lack sexual experience or are not willing to do certain things. Think of magazines aimed at women that have articles like "bad girl sex". Another online magazine has a sexual bucket list that includes things like "kiss a girl" ," have group sex," and "have sex with a stranger." I've been at work where other women would go into great detail about their sexual experiences , complete with telling me about things like anal beads, which I didn't know anything about. They thought it was a funny thing that I didn't know what that was.They treated me like I was some kind of naive, childish moron because I was inexperienced. I even have had people offering to get me laid. This is all coming from a girl, and I have no idea how the world got this way.
I read a very depressing article about female virgins a few years ago. You can read a reproduction of it here : http://neverhadaboyfriend.org/2008/0...ew-years-back/
This article really described my experiences. I ahve been rejected by men because of my lack of experience, and I have felt like I don't fit in with other women because of this also. After I read it I think I developed sort of a complex about it. Like my virginity was a curse and that the longer that I had it the more likely I would spend the rest of my life alone. I felt like damaged goods. I've considered one night stands and everything just to get rid of it so that people don't look down on me anymore. Everything I watched on tv or read in a book reminded me of that particular "flaw". I compared myself to every other female out there and felt inferior to her because she had been loved and I was unloveable.
I have gotten over this for the most part. I still want a boyfriend and I still want to have sex but it doesn't make me as miserable as it once did.
I just kind of wonder WHY society is so obsessed with pressuring people into having sex, even if they aren't ready or even if they are shy and want to be in a commited relationship for it. And it's pretty idiotic that the same people that think you are a loser for NOT having sex, also think you are a bad person (especially if you are female) for having it. No matter what I do I can't win in the eyes of this crappy modern world.
People tell me that I should have numerous sex partners before I settle down and have children, but for me it's getting to late for that.
This really has always confused me because I don't care
you are gay, you have orgies, you have slept with 500 people, you like anal beads, you have slept with no one, you want to be a virgin until marriage, you have an "open marriage", you are into bondage,you hate sex and don't want anything to do with it, etc. etc.
The only thing that I am really against would be something that harms someone else, such as pedophilia, rape, or bestiality.
So why DO people care so much about what other people do? Why the sudden pressure on women to promiscuous? Why the pressure on men, for that matter? And if women are supposed to have sex then why are they called names when they do? Why do people feel like they must tell everyone about their sex lives?What kind of world are we living in where thirteen year old girls have to feel ashamed of being virgins?