i'm having dejavu from this thread.
basically the same type, i tell people i'm a vegn but i'm not a Vegan™. i'll eat meat/dairy/whatever out of curiosity or sharing, but i wont buy it usually (just when getting takeaways with no vegan options or hidden ingredients... i don't like getting takeaways and i don't like asking for a customized meal). i realize the impact and i think about it every time. i still react to people saying they are "vegan but..." in a silly policing way in my head
also, (in response to the previous post) to say that milking an animal doesn't harm them... big old nope. but i wont go into it because i guess this thread isn't for that.
we live in a dirty crooked world and we are dirty and crooked. even if you follow vegan 100% one ought to wonder at the various other things in your life which aren't aligned - if you drive a car, fast fashion, partake in unfair distribution of wealth, and so on and so on. the christians are right in that we are all sinners, there is always more work to do. that doesn't mean the work we are doing is meaningless!
all living being suffer and die, perhaps wild ones even more so. this is how nature functions. this is why i'm more antinatalist, efilist (possibly). but also negative utilitarian influences. what belongs in the realm of personal responsibility and what is beyond it, i'm not sure. a posibility to take a christian point of view and see that the whole functions somehow for some purpose or reason? or darwinism? should we care about the feelings of others, which are at best a clumsy guess, and almost entirely immaterial (being states of the mind/brain)? our responses to our own feelings are mechanical, more directly necessary than the abstraction of others. solipsism?
anywho, being committed to a way of life, opposed to unnecessary harm. the abstraction falls away when you see or imagine the harms in front of you. the environmental, psychological, and bodily harms. the end of utopian dreams to realize we live in a nightmare. this is a commitment to know the consequences of your actions and to live as if the abstractions were real, which they are. all too easy for people to turn their attention away from reality, simply enjoy their own feelings in psychological isolation from the consequences.