Texting suicide case - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-07-2019, 08:17 PM Thread Starter
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Texting suicide case


Has anyone heard of this case? Link below

https://www.boston.com/news/crime/20...g-suicide-case

Basically a girl encouraged here boyfriend to commit suicide by text message and he ended up killing himself. Amazing to me how people are so cruel and uncaring towards people with mental health issues. She only got 15 months in jail not sure if that is long enough. Thoughts?
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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-07-2019, 08:27 PM
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any fix that relies on punishment as a deterrent is going to fix things a lot more theoretically than if we made it so people who were that depressed had far better options.

honestly, you could throw her into the sea and it wouldnt teach people like her anything at all. we need to teach the rest of society to be supportive, but society really doesnt care that much.

its a pity, but even people who do care are suckered into thinking that someone else is going to do all the caring on their behalf. once the keys are handed over, nothing actually happens. the entire point is to get people to believe that someone else is going to take care of this. and sadly, most of the solutions will revolve around that sort of mythological fix. this is why the more we fix things, the more people stay miserable. fixing them isnt something that the world can just outsource to those making false promises.

you wanna fix this?

people are teaching other people that theyre worthless all the time. this is just a very extreme instance of that. there really ought to be a network of people who care more than that, who are less superficial and more forgiving, but most of the time when such a network is created, it gets distracted by other less important things. by "network" i mean global community. one that actually cares. but most people are very superficial, and it hurts to live in a world like that. its a big opportunity for people like that horrible girl. note, this is not a gender issue at all.
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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-08-2019, 10:48 PM Thread Starter
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any fix that relies on punishment as a deterrent is going to fix things a lot more theoretically than if we made it so people who were that depressed had far better options.

honestly, you could throw her into the sea and it wouldnt teach people like her anything at all. we need to teach the rest of society to be supportive, but society really doesnt care that much.

its a pity, but even people who do care are suckered into thinking that someone else is going to do all the caring on their behalf. once the keys are handed over, nothing actually happens. the entire point is to get people to believe that someone else is going to take care of this. and sadly, most of the solutions will revolve around that sort of mythological fix. this is why the more we fix things, the more people stay miserable. fixing them isnt something that the world can just outsource to those making false promises.

you wanna fix this?

people are teaching other people that theyre worthless all the time. this is just a very extreme instance of that. there really ought to be a network of people who care more than that, who are less superficial and more forgiving, but most of the time when such a network is created, it gets distracted by other less important things. by "network" i mean global community. one that actually cares. but most people are very superficial, and it hurts to live in a world like that. its a big opportunity for people like that horrible girl. note, this is not a gender issue at all.
Yea we certainly need a global community like your talking about. Tough to get started though. I guess in a lot of ways churches do part this don't they? Im not religious
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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-09-2019, 12:02 AM
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I guess in a lot of ways churches do part this don't they? Im not religious
churches definitely serve that purpose for some people. im not religious either. i would think a cursory reading of jesuss teachings would do for those who believe in the new testament-- most religions have some kind of counterpart to that. if we were really looking out for each other, if there was a global community around that, i dont think this would be as much of a problem.

which isnt to say people would never commit suicide, but thats not what the thread was about. i meant that it would remove the societal reasons to suicide-- people would still do it for other reasons.

the unitarian universalist church seems like a mostly non-denominational, only semi-religious church (they have atheists groups and everything.)

in theory, i really like what theyre doing. in practice, they seem just as superficial and hypocritical (and vain and insincere) as their christian counterparts, except they dont care if you believe in god or not, and they dont care if youre pagan or hindu or muslim. which seems like a step in the right direction, but ive gone to quite a few and it feels very contrived and political.

i know people hate christian hypocrisy-- ive learned to look past that towards people who are sincerely making the effort to be better people (i dont mean every christian, but i am totally fine with those that are sincere and have some humility) and ive met one or two people at the uu who are sincere, but its mostly lip service.

i dont think church is the answer-- but for those who find solace in it and offer the same to others, im genuinely happy for them. i usually dont judge individuals by organisation or association, but i do judge organisations themselves.

but i do think there should be more efforts towards this. as with the uu, some will be sincere and thoughtful and others will be vapid and shallow. as someone who is neither christian nor religious, i felt more welcome and befriended by the ucc (a christian church that split off from the uu) than the unitarian universalists. they know im not christian but they made me feel welcome anyway, because thats just the sort of people i met there. so maybe thats something to look at for inspiration.

of course im thinking of secular organisations as a solution, but this is in response to your comment about churches. a lot of them seem to care more about converting people than how to treat people, and i find it difficult to sympathise with that.
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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-09-2019, 12:43 AM
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Amazing to me how people are so cruel and uncaring towards people with mental health issues.

If anything, it seems more like she's just a plain psychopath.

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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-09-2019, 01:29 AM
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A woman's place is in the kitchen, this is what happens when they get out, they're desensitized from murdering all those pies & scones in the oven & think everyone's a giant pie : /






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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-09-2019, 01:49 AM
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A woman's place is in the kitchen, this is what happens when they get out, they're desensitized from murdering all those pies & scones in the oven & think everyone's a giant pie : /

I guess if it's an older truck, some old trucks are shaped like an oven.

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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-09-2019, 02:00 AM
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Do you suppose people would still blame her if she had just stopped communicating with him and not said or done anything at all?

I don't know if I like the sort of slippery slope kind of vibes this gives off. I think thinking with your emotions (In this case, it seems that anger is making law) is not always wise.

Then again, I suppose a lot of laws are essentially reliant upon anger and the drive for revenge for their justifications so.....

Couldn't blame him for his own actions. Because mental illness removes your right to choose, apparently.

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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-09-2019, 02:04 AM
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Rough call. Not sure how I feel about this one. I mean, I'm obviously disgusted with the behavior of the girl, but on what grounds is she being prosecuted? For failing to call emergency services?

I mean, if they're trying to make a case that she manipulated (preyed upon him for the duration of the relationship)him into taking his own life, I can think of a million other cases where one person subjects another to emotional abuse. Are they worthy of a jail sentence?

It's a rough call because it's hard to draw the line between personal accountability and vulnerability.

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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-09-2019, 02:29 AM
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I guess if it's an older truck, some old trucks are shaped like an oven.
....Yes ....it's all making sense now .....case closed.






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post #11 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-09-2019, 08:29 AM Thread Starter
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Do you suppose people would still blame her if she had just stopped communicating with him and not said or done anything at all?

I don't know if I like the sort of slippery slope kind of vibes this gives off. I think thinking with your emotions (In this case, it seems that anger is making law) is not always wise.

Then again, I suppose a lot of laws are essentially reliant upon anger and the drive for revenge for their justifications so.....

Couldn't blame him for his own actions. Because mental illness removes your right to choose, apparently.

No she would not have been blamed if she had stopped communicating with him. But when someone is in a suicidal state and you are encouraging them to do it.

The article said she did the following which clearly steps over the line of legality in my opinion.

‘‘I thought you wanted to do this. The time is right and you’re ready — just do it babe,’’ Carter wrote in one message.
‘‘You’re finally going to be happy in heaven. No more pain. It’s okay to be scared and it’s normal. I mean, you’re about to die,’’ she wrote in another.
The juvenile court judge who convicted Carter in 2017 said she caused Roy’s death when she told him to get back in after he climbed out of his truck as it was filling with carbon monoxide, telling her he was scared. The judge said Carter had a duty to call the police or Roy’s family when she knew he was killing himself.
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post #12 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-09-2019, 09:51 AM
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I feel so sorry for this young woman, and of course the young man who decided to take his own life. She does not deserve prison time, but some serious counseling and help. I hope she comes thru okay and enlightens others about basic kindness. Suicide can be seen as the ego's ultimate victory, but if we realize we are not our ego and its sick thoughts, we can find the awareness that we are, and discover peace and calm. What is our purpose in life? To bring more love to the world, and that starts with committing to loving ourself.

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post #13 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-10-2019, 12:17 AM
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No she would not have been blamed if she had stopped communicating with him. But when someone is in a suicidal state and you are encouraging them to do it.

The article said she did the following which clearly steps over the line of legality in my opinion.

‘‘I thought you wanted to do this. The time is right and you’re ready — just do it babe,’’ Carter wrote in one message.
‘‘You’re finally going to be happy in heaven. No more pain. It’s okay to be scared and it’s normal. I mean, you’re about to die,’’ she wrote in another.
The juvenile court judge who convicted Carter in 2017 said she caused Roy’s death when she told him to get back in after he climbed out of his truck as it was filling with carbon monoxide, telling her he was scared. The judge said Carter had a duty to call the police or Roy’s family when she knew he was killing himself.
Like I said. Mental illness apparently removes your right to choose so his GF was obviously mentally ill (There's no way you can argue she wasn't at least as mentally ill as he was, just in a different way) and she didn't know what she was doing either. Right? So mental illness is a crime now? Man this is real progress!

I wonder what we could have charged him with if he was still here? There's gotta be something.

/WYSD
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post #14 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-10-2019, 06:24 AM Thread Starter
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Like I said. Mental illness apparently removes your right to choose so his GF was obviously mentally ill (There's no way you can argue she wasn't at least as mentally ill as he was, just in a different way) and she didn't know what she was doing either. Right? So mental illness is a crime now? Man this is real progress!

I wonder what we could have charged him with if he was still here? There's gotta be something.
Ok there is a big difference between being mentally ill where you are still criminally responsible for your actions and being found not guilty by reason in insantity in which you are not. She certainly has some sort of mental issue. But so do probably half the people in prison today. Having mental health issues may lower your sentence but they don't get you off the hook in most cases.
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post #15 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-10-2019, 06:31 AM
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I think it was fair.....the experience should make her a better person. Tons of stuff like this happens daily unreported though sadly. We need to have more compassion and sympathy for others. You should never encourage someone to kill themselves.

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post #16 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-10-2019, 06:40 PM
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Ok there is a big difference between being mentally ill where you are still criminally responsible for your actions and being found not guilty by reason in insantity in which you are not.
That was a rather odd contortion. Did it hurt? It sure did on this end.

/WYSD
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post #17 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-10-2019, 08:23 PM
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I think it was fair.....the experience should make her a better person. Tons of stuff like this happens daily unreported though sadly. We need to have more compassion and sympathy for others. You should never encourage someone to kill themselves.
I 100% agree with this.

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post #18 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-11-2019, 01:05 PM
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Thanks for the memory-jogging. This seemed REALLY familiar.

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post #19 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 08:47 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the memory-jogging. This seemed REALLY familiar.
Case update. Supreme court refuses to hear her appeal. So her conviction stands.

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/sup...riend-n1114381
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post #20 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 08:50 AM
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Case update. Supreme court refuses to hear her appeal. So her conviction stands.

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/sup...riend-n1114381


Good - she's a convicted text offender. She should either register all her phones or be banned from ever having one again.


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