Is anyone elses' life hardly any different? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 09:05 AM Thread Starter
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Is anyone elses' life hardly any different?


Under lockdown I mean. Quarantine means I can't pester my parents to take me to coffeeshops, or do occasional things like go to the library, and that's about it. Even if things were to go back to normal, that still means I'm probably going to spend the rest of my young adult life rotting (fermenting?) away in an isolated suburb. I only have my permit and even if I had my licence, I'm not sure how much would really change after all -



My environment and circumstances are really bad for me and I feel mostly powerless to do anything about it.
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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 09:52 AM
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Yeah public transport in a lot of the US seems bad then again it's really expensive here (trains at least.) We have cycle paths in some areas but it's still not great. I imagine it's better than the US but yeah it got worse over time:



And yeah I've mentioned my dislike of shopping centres (malls) many times. Lol.

Some people heard my words and thought it meant they knew me
Truth is, I don't exist, I'm just a soundtrack to your movie
Some background figure in a story that's already scripted
And what I feel's just felt for you to hear me ****ing spit it
I jump in many different heads through these words and poems
Always hoping maybe the next leap'll be my leap home

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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 10:08 AM
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My life hasn't changed much in 15 years, I'm not working atm after being in steady employment for over 2 years, well apart from helping with animals etc on the family farms, but that's more a hobby anyway.

I haven't even been to a grocery shop in over a week cause I'm living with my mother & 2 sisters plus my sisters friend who's staying here for a while because of bad domestic issues, violent ex boyfriend, plus bad parents etc etc & they pick up stuff if I give them money, order takeout once a week.

If anything this is only feeding my avoidant ways.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 11:00 AM
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Most days are the same. If it weren't for the virus, I'd:
- be grocery shopping once or twice a week instead of every couple weeks
- do my hiking in a wider variety of places than presently, though not more often
- be doing a few meetups a month (for softball, boardgames and hiking)
- avoid driving at rush hours (it's nice not having to think about traffic times now)
- be happier

Just glad I live alone so I don't have to wash my hands 20 times a day or get on someone's nerves.

Play The Social Anxiety Game

"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'" ― Kurt Vonnegut
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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 05:15 PM Thread Starter
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Found this on tumblr just today -

Quote:
Widespread chronic loneliness is a very, very serious problem. It destroys people’s inner lives, and contributes to literal mortality in the form of “deaths of despair.” And at the same time it’s both easy to ignore it (because it makes its victims invisible/unlikable and because those without it don’t understand it) and easy to justify it (because it’s just the result of ~free association~ and lol first world problems much?).

And—this is the really important bit—it is materially explicable and materially remediable. It is an entirely predictable outcome of mass unemployment, dissolution/lack of safety nets, and ****ty urban design (among other things). And instead of seeing people urge caring about this I see them willing to let it fester without check even more at the drop of a hat and it just boggles the mind.
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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 05:37 PM
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^^Yeah lots of people alone out there, in my local town only a few days ago a man in his 50's was discovered & he'd been dead 3 or 4 days in his apartment before anyone noticed.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 06:18 PM
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My life hasn't changed much.

Go to work, come home. That is pretty much it.

We haven't lived in anything remotely close to "real" since the turn of the century.
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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 06:54 PM
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I've got things I want to do. I had other plans
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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 07:40 PM
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My life changed from work, gym, sleep, and binge watching TV on the weekend to work, home gym, sleep, and binge watching TV on the weekend.
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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 08:35 PM
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I'm still working, so mostly what's changed is that I don't go to the gym or go out on the weekends anymore. In a way it's been nice, the weekends seem longer that way and I'm saving a lot of gas with just that. But I hadn't been out to the grocery store or anywhere in over a month. This weekend I had to go to the store to get some things though. Most places here are opening up again to a certain extent anyway (other than things like gyms and theaters), so I could go out if I wanted - but I'd rather wait and not risk contracting or spreading the virus.

Underneath the cold November sky, I wait for you... As the pages of my life roll by, I wait for you... I'm so desperate just to see your face, meet me in this broken place...

Be a little brave for a little bit of time.
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post #11 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 09:21 PM
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My life is about the same, aside from not going to a restaurant/grocery shopping once a week, and waking up every morning and going to bed every night with far more fear and dread and anxiety and tears than I used to.

Plus, electronic devices and appliances (modem, battery backup, two alarm clocks, possibly the entire electrical outlet in my bedroom) seem to be breaking down more frequently all of a sudden.

Plus, the next time I get flulike symptoms I have more than just another UTI to worry about.

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post #12 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 10:13 PM
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The electric kettle my dad has been using every day for months just stopped working. Those things don't last forever but they are usually pretty durable.

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post #13 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-10-2020, 02:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barakiel View Post
Found this on tumblr just today -
That's why I'm not totally against spree killers, it's a shame that people have to die but sometimes that's the only way you realise a system is broken. One spree killing (OK maybe several so they realise it's a pattern,) is the equivalent of something like 1 million people dropping out in the public consciousness (I don't pull this number from no where it is approximately the number of hikikomori. Meanwhile people dropping out to some extent is 61% of Japanese society I think most of the manufactured media concern about a masculinity crisis in industrialised nations comes from the expectation that they should perform as slaves, I don't think they're too bothered as long as they keep working and consuming and breeding new slaves, and keep violence to a minimum.) Unfortunately it's still not enough. You need increasingly ridiculous forms of violence and/or larger number of people in a state of chronic anomie and recoiling to get attention and everyone just readjusts to the new normal like 75th time I've posted this documentary lmao for the first 12 minutes:

https://@www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh2cDKyFdyU

Some people heard my words and thought it meant they knew me
Truth is, I don't exist, I'm just a soundtrack to your movie
Some background figure in a story that's already scripted
And what I feel's just felt for you to hear me ****ing spit it
I jump in many different heads through these words and poems
Always hoping maybe the next leap'll be my leap home

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post #14 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-10-2020, 03:31 AM
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I am not going into the office. I have been home doing things. We aren't allowed to visit the group homes or do any face to face with consumers. So I am doing contacts by phone with staff and consumers. But nothing else has changed. I very rarely eat out. The only time I eat out is when my boss takes us out for Christmas.

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troll: three feet, man!
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post #15 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-10-2020, 03:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
^^Yeah lots of people alone out there, in my local town only a few days ago a man in his 50's was discovered & he'd been dead 3 or 4 days in his apartment before anyone noticed.
In London it can take years:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joyce_Vincent

Some people heard my words and thought it meant they knew me
Truth is, I don't exist, I'm just a soundtrack to your movie
Some background figure in a story that's already scripted
And what I feel's just felt for you to hear me ****ing spit it
I jump in many different heads through these words and poems
Always hoping maybe the next leap'll be my leap home

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post #16 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-10-2020, 04:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
In London it can take years:
Yeah that's the extreme end of it, but this man's parents are still alive & they lived less than a mile apart, even though they are elderly so I guess they eventually raised the alarm, he has an estranged wife & daughter aswell.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #17 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-10-2020, 04:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
Yeah that's the extreme end of it, but this man's parents are still alive & they lived less than a mile apart, even though they are elderly so I guess they eventually raised the alarm, he has an estranged wife & daughter aswell.
Yeah I think most people they would have an address for someone and inquire at some point sooner. It is really ridiculous though that you can drop out of society for only a relatively short time in a city where everyone is living on top of each other like sardines, and still no one will notice says a lot about modern socialisation. If you read her bio it's not even like she was an extreme hermit.

Some people heard my words and thought it meant they knew me
Truth is, I don't exist, I'm just a soundtrack to your movie
Some background figure in a story that's already scripted
And what I feel's just felt for you to hear me ****ing spit it
I jump in many different heads through these words and poems
Always hoping maybe the next leap'll be my leap home

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post #18 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-10-2020, 06:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
If you read her bio it's not even like she was an extreme hermit.
Yeah I read her story a few times in the past cause it was so intriguing & perplexing that something like that could happen there, apparently she told work colleagues she was moving to a different country on extended vacation or something so they didn't investigate & she seemed happy/sociable while at work.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #19 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-10-2020, 03:09 PM
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Well I don't exactly have a busy social life but my life in general is very different. I haven't even seen my wife or my son for almost 2 months (except on Skype) and I can't go to the cafes, library or anywhere else for that matter.

It's pretty hard if you ask me. Like I said in the other thread - it's just not being able to see any life around you at all which is hard - although I can stand at my window (I live on the 8th floor) and watch what's happening down in the street I guess.

It's also having a terrible effect on my mental health - but I certainly don't think things should change just because of that. It's just very hard. Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane. I usually just call my wife like I usually do and wait it out.
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post #20 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-10-2020, 03:56 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
And yeah I've mentioned my dislike of shopping centres (malls) many times. Lol.
Even the big indoor ones? Watching Dan Bell's videos earlier this year actually made me appreciate how lively ours were pre-lockdown. They remind me of a mini-city, or what it might feel like walking through the covered passages of Paris (even if they're not nearly as nice).
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