Can men ever be victims of sexual assault by women? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 05:50 AM Thread Starter
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Can men ever be victims of sexual assault by women?


Sounds ridiculous but apparently many don't think so. In particular when you see cases of adult female teachers having sex with young teenage boys. Whether it's in real life or online, 90% of comments are "Damn, where were these teachers when I was in school".

If you reversed the roles, people would have a very different tune. But why?

Men are obviously stronger than women and can fend off unwanted sexual advances even teenage boys from adult women but surely, some might be mentally traumatized. And I assume that not all girls are unwilling participants. (NOT victim blaming) but some teen girls like teen guys might want sex with an adult teacher. How come then most people view it in such a binary fashion.l
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post #2 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 06:01 AM
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On the rare occasions, sure. Majority of the time, guys love it.

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post #3 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 06:28 AM Thread Starter
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On the rare occasions, sure. Majority of the time, guys love it.
And women don't?
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post #4 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 06:35 AM
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And women don't?
If you're going to make another SN here you could at least change your persona.

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post #5 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 07:08 AM
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Yes. People are just ****ing dumb, tbh.

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post #6 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 02:46 PM
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Yes non consensual sex is non consensual.

sex with a teacher isn't always non consensual, and that's not gender specific (Obviously. Girls and women are often more attracted to mature men or older guys, than the immature boys at school,*) but it's not a good idea. Very messy potentially and you don't know what will happen, how mentally mature the student is and the power imbalance from them being in a position of authority is also bad. There are actually books that present a more nuanced take on this though like Love Lessons by Jacqueline Wilson, I read that once.

Some people get insane ideas in their head like running off to a foreign country with an underaged female student.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/repo...r-2017-update/

People get completely stupid when they let their emotions override everything.

Like this is clearly inappropriate:

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After that, he was locked into my brain. I followed him on Twitter and waited. He followed me back soon after, and a few weeks later, my phone pinged with a direct message: ‘Have I upset you?’ he asked. I’d been acting up in his class and ignored him when he told me to stop talking. Excitement spiralled in me as I replied, ‘Don’t worry; it’s not you. How are you?’
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(also as that's tumblr there are a bunch of samesex crushes as well..)


'That's also the same tag as the true crime one. Are you into older men, or serial killers? I dunno use the same tag for both' :')

Can't relate at all because I never had a crush on a teacher, probably for the best.

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post #7 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 02:51 PM
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post #8 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 02:56 PM
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Yeah, I bet it does actually. Overly friendly. Stuck in an office somewhere. People push boundaries all the time.

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post #9 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 08:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Liam Norton View Post
Sounds ridiculous but apparently many don't think so. In particular when you see cases of adult female teachers having sex with young teenage boys. Whether it's in real life or online, 90% of comments are "Damn, where were these teachers when I was in school".
Yes it's possible but young teenage buys want sex. If they say it was involuntary that's a different matter. If the genders were reversed same thing as far as I'm concerned. Taboo subject but the age of consent is probably too high. Sure, teenagers are not mature enough for sex but neither are most twenty year olds.
Anyway:

Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak.
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post #10 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 08:06 PM
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okay wtf? I edited it twice to say BOYS but it still says BUYS

Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak.
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post #11 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 04:51 AM
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It's just how the world works.
Feminists claim to want to end toxic masculinity,as if they care about men's issues, but they don't.

The idea that a female cannot rape a male because he will always enjoy it is very much toxic masculinity and it is perpetuated in teen movies, mass media and comedy.

It makes no sense. There was a time when it was generally accepted that girls reach adult levels of mental maturity earlier than boys...but yet when it comes to sex...a teenage girl is incapable of giving consent...but a boy of the same age is ??

What about all the arguments of power dynamic ?

When a teenage girl has sex with an adult male teacher, even if she wants to...the narrative is always "he has manipulated his position as teacher/adult and fooled this child into it" ...it is never considered her responsibility, even if she willingly had sex with the teacher against express warnings from her parents. It will always be called rape.

Yet when a teenage boy has sex with an adult female teacher he is always "lucky" "privileged" the "stud" of the class...the perpetrator is always "sad and misunderstood"
...What about the question of power dynamic, of her taking advantage of her position as teacher....nobody cares.

Where are all the people who cry "toxic masculinity" when these cases occur ?? silent.

I will never forget the case where the defense lawyer claimed that sending the woman to jail was like sending a lamb to slaughter (ie she is too beautiful/frail for jail, WTF ??)
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post #12 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 05:04 AM
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I didn't enjoy the time I had my butt groped and squeezed very very slowly and deliberately when I was standing in a line in a canteen many years ago.

I turned around and she was just staring to see what reaction I'd give. I didn't. But inside I felt very very awkward. I could've ran out of the line but I didn't want to give any reaction or give her any satisfaction. It felt very awkward and I was just waiting in line hoping I didn't get touched again.

I also didn't enjoy the fact that a girl at work keep creeping up behind me, and putting her hands around my waist or touching me in the back etc... when I was doing my work. Everytime I then knew she had to come in after this, I just was awkwardly waiting for the hands to "appear" again wondering if it was going to escalate to her hands would "appear" somewhere else on me mentally preparing myself to be startled again.
I eventually told another couple of female colleagues what she was doing or had done. Apparently she has a slight bit of a habit of doing that to another few female workers. I said I was beginning to feel uncomfortable about her actions and they said that in the workplace it was inappropriate. The female colleagues even said "if YOU were doing that to HER, you'd be in the shi*" so even the women recognised the double standard.


One day she touched me twice in the space of 20 minutes and I just lost it and gave her a row and said I actually really didn't like her doing it. I don't think anyone overheard the raised voice ticking off I gave her. She's not done it again for many months.

So no. Guys probably are not going to feel comfortable being touched or groped by a woman.
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post #13 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 05:16 AM
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And older women teachers taking advantage of young boys at a school? It's still an abuse of power of the person in authority regardless if the boy "enjoyed" it. It means that the woman was able to manipulate and pray on what could be the vulnerability and impressionability of a teenage boy in puberty. There is still a degree of coersion going on. And if he was under 16, it's still illegal because it's below the age of consent.

Do you know why a woman being raped is so traumatic besides thinking the rapist is going to kill her? A lot of the times the victim can still orgasm and "enjoy" it. This is because although the victim being terrified, physiologically the sexual response can still be made to happen by the stimulation of the woman's genitals through the autonomic nervous system. The victim although terrified can still orgasm even tho they mentally don't want to. This then leaves the victim ashamed and confused thinking they must've somehow enjoyed it ,albeit terrified, because they orgasmed. That's why a lot of rapes go unreported: shame and even self blame.

If a guy was attacked in a similar way, a guy could still physiologically get an unwanted erection and orgasm because the autonomic nervous system is reacting to stimulation of his genitals.
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post #14 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 07:39 AM
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I remember watching this


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post #15 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 08:23 AM
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I remember watching this

Disgusting ? Can you imagine if the sexes were reversed ?
Man goes to jail for abusing a 13 y/o girl, comes out 10 yrs later and marries her

Nopee that wouldn't happen. He would be a registered sex offender...he would get more than 10 yrs.

I feel sorry for those children....being raised by parents with such a warped idea of human sexuality.

I wonder if she would let the same thing happen to her daughter ??
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post #16 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 08:29 AM
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Disgusting ? Can you imagine if the sexes were reversed ?
Man goes to jail for abusing a 13 y/o girl, comes out 10 yrs later and marries her

Nopee that wouldn't happen. He would be a registered sex offender...he would get more than 10 yrs.

I feel sorry for those children....being raised by parents with such a warped idea of human sexuality.

I wonder if she would let the same thing happen to her daughter ??
No need to be outraged, Mary Kay spent 7 years in jail and is registered as a sex offender.

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post #17 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 09:31 AM
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Of course men can be victims. I remember some case from the news... 2 adult women raped an adult man to have his sperm or something like that. It is rare but women can also be stronger than men. Usually it is more like manipulating into sex, not actually a violent rape like what is usual when man committed rape. In relationships, I heard, women also might force men into sex by rubbing or jumping on the penis without checking if their man is in the mood.

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post #18 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 11:51 AM
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On the rare occasions, sure. Majority of the time, guys love it.
You should ask rape survivors about this one, of either gender. Going to group supports for such things a topic that comes up frequently is the guilt and shame people feel because their bodies still respond to stimulation even though they're terrified and their soul is dying inside. Women being raped will still experience orgasms, even though the experience was so traumatic for them they might not ever have a healthy sex life again and experience nightmares the rest of their life.

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Of course men can be victims. I remember some case from the news... 2 adult women raped an adult man to have his sperm or something like that. It is rare but women can also be stronger than men. Usually it is more like manipulating into sex, not actually a violent rape like what is usual when man committed rape. In relationships, I heard, women also might force men into sex by rubbing or jumping on the penis without checking if their man is in the mood.
Men are raped and sexually abused far more than will ever be reported. Women complain about how rape is dealt with in justice and society but all the same problems are intensified ten fold with men. As you can see, there's a large segment of society that don't think it's possible.

Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
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post #19 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-22-2019, 02:09 PM
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Men are raped and sexually abused far more than will ever be reported. Women complain about how rape is dealt with in justice and society but all the same problems are intensified ten fold with men. As you can see, there's a large segment of society that don't think it's possible.
There is still countries where wifes cannot be raped inside a marriage in the laws eyes. I would rather say these same people who does not see the problems with raping women don't see problems with raping men either. Also men are raping men althought this thread is about women raping men.
I think most men understand rape not untill they are victims of rape personally. According to empathy studies men has no good skills to place themselves into other peoples boots so many see raping only as fantasy of a 15 years old school boy. When they ignore the most important factor: In fantasy it is wanted and not real. Rape means he (or she) did not wanted it happend. This is also hard to understand for some women and raping fantasies are kind of tabu. People don't dream about cuts, bleeding, bruises an dry mucosas with teared anus or vagina. They dream about incredible amount of sexual want toward themselves which makes them feel sexy and forget their inhibitions. This is common mistake in thoughts what comes to rape. When it is wanted it is called (bdsm-) sex. When it is not wanted it is called rape. It should be simple to understand.

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post #20 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-23-2019, 03:31 AM
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There is still countries where wifes cannot be raped inside a marriage in the laws eyes. I would rather say these same people who does not see the problems with raping women don't see problems with raping men either. Also men are raping men althought this thread is about women raping men.
I think most men understand rape not untill they are victims of rape personally.
According to empathy studies men has no good skills to place themselves into other peoples boots so many see raping only as fantasy of a 15 years old school boy. When they ignore the most important factor: In fantasy it is wanted and not real. Rape means he (or she) did not wanted it happend. This is also hard to understand for some women and raping fantasies are kind of tabu. People don't dream about cuts, bleeding, bruises an dry mucosas with teared anus or vagina. They dream about incredible amount of sexual want toward themselves which makes them feel sexy and forget their inhibitions. This is common mistake in thoughts what comes to rape. When it is wanted it is called (bdsm-) sex. When it is not wanted it is called rape. It should be simple to understand.
You make some good points here. There is no such thing as a rape fantasy...so there should be nothing ashamed to feel about your fantasy sexual situations. If you are fantasizing about a type of sexual situation, then that means you want it...hence the fantasy is not rape...so...nothing to be conflicted about.

As for the men being raped by other men thing....there is a reason why this is not the topic of the thread.

We are complaining about how the concept of rape is skewed against men because most people still see the definition of rape as involving penetration...and not the other way around ...which makes it inherently sexist against men.

There are so many who argue that part of the trauma for women being raped is that their body physiologically may respond positively to the activity...which confuses them and leaves them feeling afraid/ashamed of their own sexual desire.

It is the same for men...people still feel like, a man cannot get raped by a woman, because if he "got it up" then that means he wanted to penetrate.

Even in this thread...some users are still finding it hard to wrap their head around the idea that, that because a guy salutes the pole, and penetrates...it doesn't mean he was in the mood. This can be acheived by physical stimulation alone. Or the guy could be drugged with something like viagra. It is possible and it does happen.

But since everyone says "you must have enjoyed it" "you should feel lucky" ..."you are a stud" ..."a real heterosexual man should never be ashamed of a sexual encounter where he gets to enter a woman" .....most men are afraid to admit to being raped by a woman, for fear of being labelled as less than a man (in the hetero sense)...

I mean: "What kind of heterosexual man complains about getting laid ? right (sarcasm intended)

BUT...this is the real toxic masculinity. We should be able to complain about unwanted sex, without our masculinity being questioned.
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