What's your perfect crime? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 03:44 AM Thread Starter
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What's your perfect crime?


This thread probably already exists but I cannot be bothered to look for it because we all know how crap the search option is lol.

Anyway mine is to break into area 51, have sex with an alien and steal her ufo and fly off into the distance leaving her as a single mother. What's yours?

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post #2 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 04:09 AM
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To take the UFO, fly it back and give to her.
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post #3 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 08:45 AM
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I'll have to think about it, but a little prison vacation time is sounding pretty good atm.
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post #4 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 08:51 AM
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What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

So come rain on my parade
'Cause I want to feel it
Come shove me over the edge
'Cause my head is in overdrive
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post #5 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 10:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Cascades View Post
What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
That’s a great plan, but before you do it, you should ask yourself... “Would an idiot do that?” If the answer is yes, don’t do it.




My perfect crime is wearing a sweater with a hidden compartment in the sleeve. I’d go to the store and start picking up and putting down all the chocolate bars, but every other time I’d pretend to put the chocolate back down but I’d slide it up my sleeve, trapping it. It’s a low risk crime, and just imagine all the chocolate bars I could own.

They say it doesn't hurt.

-Carl McCunn
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post #6 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 12:01 PM Thread Starter
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My perfect crime is wearing a sweater with a hidden compartment in the sleeve. I’d go to the store and start picking up and putting down all the chocolate bars, but every other time I’d pretend to put the chocolate back down but I’d slide it up my sleeve, trapping it. It’s a low risk crime, and just imagine all the chocolate bars I could own.
oh damn I love chocolate so this really is the perfect plan.

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post #7 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 12:12 PM
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Step 1: Get high on some sort of stimulant
Step 2: Acquire disguise.. emulating a tacky hero is the perfect disguise


Step 3: steal neighbours (whom i've always despised) 3- wheeler and go speeding down the highway till get pulled over
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post #8 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 12:35 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by TheForestWasDark View Post
Step 1: Get high on some sort of stimulant
Step 2: Acquire disguise.. emulating a tacky hero is the perfect disguise


Step 3: steal neighbours (whom i've always despised) 3- wheeler and go speeding down the highway till get pulled over
Now that's an impressive suit.

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post #9 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 01:18 PM
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https://magic.wizards.com/en/article...oor-2013-10-31

Quote:
Basically, if the deck works and your opponent doesn't concede, the deck wins by having your opponent use Door to Nothingness on himself. And not just any Door to Nothingness: a Door to Nothingness you gave to him."
Or you know breaking into area 51, stealing the alien tech that can obviously do everything I want it to somehow, and then... [inappropriate content] (vigilante stuff mostly probably.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by BRITA Group CEO
In the future, everyone will design their own water
My computer thinks I'm gay
What's the difference anyway
When all the people do all day
Is stare into a phone
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post #10 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 01:22 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
https://magic.wizards.com/en/article...oor-2013-10-31

Quote:
Basically, if the deck works and your opponent doesn't concede, the deck wins by having your opponent use Door to Nothingness on himself. And not just any Door to Nothingness: a Door to Nothingness you gave to him."
Or you know breaking into area 51, stealing the alien tech that can obviously do everything I want it to somehow, and then... [inappropriate content] (vigilante stuff mostly probably.)
"only an imbecile would open it" that would be me 🙂

Count me out
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post #11 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 01:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 3stacks View Post
"only an imbecile would open it" that would be me 🙂
I love that part, it's like really twisting the knife

Quote:
Originally Posted by BRITA Group CEO
In the future, everyone will design their own water
My computer thinks I'm gay
What's the difference anyway
When all the people do all day
Is stare into a phone
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post #12 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 01:29 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 3stacks View Post
"only an imbecile would open it" that would be me 🙂
I love that part, it's like really twisting the knife <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/lol.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a>

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post #13 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 01:59 PM
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This thread is pure evil. LOL. It will require me to think bad.


My Perfect Crime: Join one of those gothic looking old churches in Europe become a nun, have a secret affair with the Priest. Before he think about going any further with me I knock him out hard with the good book. I cry out in horror and file a false report of sexual conduct against the Priest. My sweet innocent look and act would get me off the hook in the court of law. He goes to jail. The Church shutdown. I write a spiritual tell all book about my so call suffering and how God help me me through. People will read and believe. It become a #1 best seller selling millions. I become filthy rich. My writer's penname would be The Virgin Rachel. Ha.
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post #14 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 02:10 PM Thread Starter
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This thread is pure evil. LOL. It will require me to think bad.


My Perfect Crime: Join one of those gothic looking old churches in Europe become a nun, have a secret affair with the Priest. Before he think about going any further with me I knock him out hard with the good book. I cry out in horror and file a false report of sexual conduct against the Priest. My sweet innocent look and act would get me off the hook in the court of law. He goes to jail. The Church shutdown. I write a spiritual tell all book about my so call suffering and how God help me me through. People will read and believe. It become a #1 best seller selling millions. I become filthy rich. My writer's penname would be The Virgin Rachel. Ha.
I'm buying that book!

Count me out
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post #15 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 02:13 PM
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I'm buying that book!
Ha Ha: ) Great!

I even sign it for you
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post #16 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 02:31 PM
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Invent a device that stops time for everyone except whoever is holding the device, steal enough money so don't need to work again, also commit other crimes with no consequences, dress everyone up funny & place them in weird positions, so when I start time it will be funny........also how do you plan to seduce an alien or are they naturally horny for you & also as their anatomy might be different to ours how do you know which hole will make it pregnant ? So many questions.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #17 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 02:40 PM Thread Starter
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Invent a device that stops time for everyone except whoever is holding the device, steal enough money so don't need to work again, also commit other crimes with no consequences, dress everyone up funny & place them in weird positions, so when I start time it will be funny........also how do you plan to seduce an alien or are they naturally horny for you & also as their anatomy might be different to ours how do you know which hole will make it pregnant ? So many questions.
I like it. I didn't think through my seduction techniques but any hole is a goal.

Count me out
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post #18 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Mondo_Fernando View Post
To take the UFO, fly it back and give to her.
I helped you out with your story Mondo It is a continuation:


You go back to the ailen female who suddenly is in labor. She bore 2 ailen half human half alien twins. She beg you to care for them. She dies. Her last words? "Get that dead beat *censor*. You raise them as your own children.


Years later.......


You work as an Area 51 agent inside Area 51. When the twins become teenagers you break the news about their Father and how he ditch her and left her to die. You show them an Area 51 security camera photo of a 3Stack in "relations" with their ailen Mother. It trigger them to burn with hatred causing them to transform into their ailen true form. You tell them about the UFO out back in the garage that has 3Stack's scent on it. They take the UFO, sniff out 3Stack, found and devour him.


You also took the saved security camera video clip that you didn't show the ailen twins, went to Hollywood to sell the B-Rated ailen movie.



Alien Mother is avenged.


What was your crime? You took unauthorized government files {The security photo and video clip} out of Area 51 for personal use.
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post #19 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 05:59 PM
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@Fun Spirit

You have a good imagination and finished that story quite well.

@3stacks

It appears you are in trouble now, is there a alternate ending to this story?

Something the audience doesn't see coming?
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post #20 of 25 (permalink) Old 05-19-2019, 06:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Mondo_Fernando View Post


You have a good imagination and finished that story quite well.



Thanks: ) I sure do
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