Do you have a "internal monologue?" - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 26 (permalink) Old 10-17-2020, 09:03 PM
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For some, it helps to organize their thoughts and remember things better if they verbally say it out loud and listen to them. Why it's common for older people to do this as well, when their memory starts deteriorating.

It might also be a coping mechanism with loneliness, when they do this to want to hear a voice.

I do this often myself, definitely for the first reason. Second reason might be a possibility as well. When I was younger and when my mom will overhear me mumbling out my thoughts, she will see me as having an onset of schizophrenia, thinks I am hearing other voices and freaks out. I have no clue how this person has a degree in behavior science and is a school counselor for 30 years.

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post #22 of 26 (permalink) Old 10-18-2020, 01:40 AM
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Originally Posted by truant View Post
Yes. My internal monologue runs constantly. I'm not sure I can think without hearing that internal voice, since it's always there. One thing I wonder about is what voice other people hear. Is it your own voice, a more idealized version of your voice, or another voice entirely? I've always heard someone else's voice, not my own (and a woman's voice at that, which I foolishly thought was normal for trans women, but it seems like most people hear their own voice, or something akin to their regular speaking voice).

A related question is how people see themselves when projecting themselves into a future or past scenario. Do you see an image of yourself doing something like a movie? Or am I the only person who does this? When I think about something that I have to do, or want to do, in the future, I project an image of myself doing it, from outside, and watch myself going through whatever actions I need to perform. I do this to pre-test for difficulties and prepare solutions. I thought everyone did this, also, but I'm no longer sure. There seems to be a lot of variation in how people think.
I don't think it's my own voice, definitely not what my voice sounds like in recordings, not an idealised voice either though. I also don't think it has a gender at all. It will switch to other people's voices sometimes if I know what they sound like and I'm reading something they wrote or imagining them saying something. I think there's probably a kind of different tone/vibe as well sometimes if I'm reading something someone else wrote even if I don't know what they sound like, but not always.

It's hard to say when I'm trying to do it but I think I view myself in third and first person when picturing future or past stuff.

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post #23 of 26 (permalink) Old 10-18-2020, 02:13 AM
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I hear my voice as I hear it inside, not how it actually sounds. I don't like to hear my voice played back to me but it's not nearly as painful as seeing my image.

I see myself from a third person when imagining possible scenarios too, but a non-anxious version of myself, and also how I see myself in the mirror which is not that bad for some reason. It never goes as well as I pictured it/wanted it to go. With the past sometimes it's like a movie, other times as I think it went from my POV.
My voice doesn't bother me as much as my body, but it's still a big problem for me. It still triggers my gender dysphoria. It can be extremely weird and alienating to be sitting around all day thinking in one voice (the voice I hear 99% of the time) and then have to answer the phone and hear my "man voice" which I only ever hear when I'm talking to other people and which sounds completely different. My real voice sounds different in a recording, too. Though, tbh, I don't really find recordings of my voice any more upsetting than hearing myself talk on the phone.

I was wondering if people heard an "idealized" voice in part because I think people tend to idealize themselves when they picture themselves in their imagination. I think most people tend to sort of overlook their flaws a little and imagine they're more attractive than they are. So I wondered if they did the same thing with their voices. (Though, tbh, I don't know if they actually do this, it's just what I've heard.)

But yeah, lol. When I'm imagining possible scenarios I'm often a much more competent version of myself than I am IRL, because I'm imagining how I want things to go. But then I go and start thinking about all the things that can go wrong and it sort of corrects itself. My default is to imagine my female self-image when I project into the future. Which is fine when I'm just daydreaming about the kind of things I'd like to do. But if I'm preparing for a real event I'll "correct" that to my real body and evaluate it from that perspective since that's what I have to deal with. When I'm remembering stuff, I remember it in terms of my real body, obv, though I think mostly in first person.

What about when you dream? When I'm dreaming I'm usually in my real body (which sucks, my brain hates me) but I think that's because all my experiences IRL have been in that body. I do sometimes imagine myself in a more feminine version of my real body, like I've already transitioned and am presenting fully as female. I've only ever had a couple dreams where I was fully female. I find it odd that my default when waking is the female body but that it rarely shows up in dreams.

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Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
I don't think it's my own voice, definitely not what my voice sounds like in recordings, not an idealised voice either though. I also don't think it has a gender at all. It will switch to other people's voices sometimes if I know what they sound like and I'm reading something they wrote or imagining them saying something. I think there's probably a kind of different tone/vibe as well sometimes if I'm reading something someone else wrote even if I don't know what they sound like, but not always.

It's hard to say when I'm trying to do it but I think I view myself in third and first person when picturing future or past stuff.
I do that thing when I'm reading. I use other voices for different characters and stuff. And if I'm reading nonfiction by a male author, I hear a male voice, and if by a female author, I hear a female voice. When I'm just thinking on my own, it's always the same female voice.

Idk where the mental female voice/body comes from. I think I must have settled on that a long time ago, when I was a kid, and it just sort of became ingrained. Some kind of maladaptive daydreaming type thing. I often wonder if it's based on a real person I saw on TV or something back in the 70s. I've looked through a bunch of celebrities trying to figure out who I cloned, but I haven't found them yet.

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there.
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post #24 of 26 (permalink) Old 10-18-2020, 02:31 AM
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I'm not sure I even understand what everyone is talking about tbh. I don't think I see it as an internal dialogue (sorry, monologue) as such. I've always been the sort of person that's very focused on how they feel at any given point in time - and then I react to it. I guess there's a bit of that old argument as to what comes first - the thought or the feeling. But I've never thought of it as a voice or monologue.
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post #25 of 26 (permalink) Old 10-18-2020, 02:51 AM
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Its interesting I'll read posts here based on what I know about someone & apply the accent or gender & general demeanor.

If I don't know as much about someone it's just a neutral male English voice in my head, like from a tutorial on how to build a shelf or something.






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post #26 of 26 (permalink) Old 10-18-2020, 04:18 AM
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Originally Posted by truant View Post
I was wondering if people heard an "idealized" voice in part because I think people tend to idealize themselves when they picture themselves in their imagination. I think most people tend to sort of overlook their flaws a little and imagine they're more attractive than they are. So I wondered if they did the same thing with their voices. (Though, tbh, I don't know if they actually do this, it's just what I've heard.)

But yeah, lol. When I'm imagining possible scenarios I'm often a much more competent version of myself than I am IRL, because I'm imagining how I want things to go. But then I go and start thinking about all the things that can go wrong and it sort of corrects itself.
I'm lucky enough that a lot of the time I overlook my flaws when looking into a mirror. But sometimes I can't even if I try. It depends on how I feel atm. Literally yesterday I looked into the bathroom mirror and said some mean things to my reflection. Things it wouldn't occur to me to say to someone else. But hey, if I don't get to be an ******* to myself what's even the point of living? Seriously though, it's weird how we can be a lot harder on ourselves than we'd ever let ourselves be with other people. Then again maybe it's not that weird, especially when it's about behavior. When it's behavior I actually think it makes a lot of sense and can be constructive.

So you make yourself **** up and get uncomfortable and say the wrong thing when imagining stuff you're going to do? I can see why you'd do that, probably helps in that it limits the level of disappointment when things go wrong.
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What about when you dream? When I'm dreaming I'm usually in my real body (which sucks, my brain hates me) but I think that's because all my experiences IRL have been in that body. I do sometimes imagine myself in a more feminine version of my real body, like I've already transitioned and am presenting fully as female. I've only ever had a couple dreams where I was fully female. I find it odd that my default when waking is the female body but that it rarely shows up in dreams.
I would've thought you'd mostly dream yourself female. I dream myself cute sometimes.

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Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
It will switch to other people's voices sometimes if I know what they sound like and I'm reading something they wrote or imagining them saying something. I think there's probably a kind of different tone/vibe as well sometimes if I'm reading something someone else wrote even if I don't know what they sound like, but not always.
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Its interesting I'll read posts here based on what I know about someone & apply the accent or gender & general demeanor.
I completely ignored the reading part of the OP. I do that too. The more idiosyncratic the writing, the more I do it.

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