a dog's diary vs a cat's diary - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 05:20 PM Thread Starter
 
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a dog's diary vs a cat's diary


A DOG'S DIARY:
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

A CAT'S DIARY:
Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 06:56 PM
 
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Hey Katie, that's the funniest thing I've read in a while. Really made my day!
It's easy for me to picture cats being smarter than humans and secretly plotting world domination!
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 07:00 PM
Bon
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That was so cute!

Mental illness is what some have, not who they are.
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-21-2006, 07:40 PM
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Re: a dog's diary vs a cat's diary


That was so cute and it gave me a chuckle.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ktgurl
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed. .
One of my cats actually vomited on my bed once or twice, and it does make you mad.

"I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired"
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-21-2006, 07:48 PM
Bon
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Whats funny, or odd.. ....When I read the dogs part, the voice in my head, that was reading it........Was panting, the dog had the same tone as the "Kibbles in Bits' commercial "Oh boy, oh boy"

The cat, more eyore........

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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-23-2006, 04:08 PM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by realspark
Whats funny, or odd.. ....When I read the dogs part, the voice in my head, that was reading it........Was panting, the dog had the same tone as the "Kibbles in Bits' commercial "Oh boy, oh boy"
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-23-2006, 11:54 PM
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:lo I knew cats were evil...I would so be a cat if it were down to those two.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-24-2006, 02:35 AM
 
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Hilarious!


Brilliantly funny! I have always enjoyed the way cats seem to hate our guts and yet we love them for it. If we have a cat in our youth, I think it helps to prepare us for dealing with in-laws and other difficult characters.
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-30-2006, 09:08 AM
 
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so cute
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-30-2006, 09:29 AM
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Hahaha! That's why I prefer dogs.

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