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My anxiety issues, need some suggestions on medications?

590 views 1 reply 2 participants last post by  Noca 
#1 ·
Here is my rant, story, whatever. Hopefully I can get some helpful suggestions, feedback, ideas on different medications & so on...

I've been taking, was taking some sort of Benzodiazepine, whether it was Xanax, Klonopon, Ativan, etc. since my early teens, I'm 30 now. Doctors would just toss scripts at me like candy, I'm talking when at like 14-15yrs old. I've always had extreme anxiety & that in turned cause some depression problems. That led to drug use into my early 20s years. Long story short, I've been clean for over 6 years now. I guess my point is that anxiety has me through the ringer.

Benzos worked well in the beginning, curbed my panic attacks immediately. But my anxiety was constant, would hit me numerous times throughout the day. Most Benzos are only to be taken when an attack happens (from what I've been told), obviously, however I was taking my "dose" everyday, 2-3 times a day. My tolerance began to build up & and the Xanax, Klonopin, whatever just couldn't do its job unless I took more & more. And I really believe that since I was on them, off & on for around 15 years my tolerance is so damaged. Age 14-15, one 0.25mg Xanax was enough, now I need 3-5mg, at least.

I love(d) how it helped me so fast, I felt instant relief I thought it was a miracle drug. I could be myself again, I wasn't shy anymore, I could be around large groups, no more racing thoughts & worrying about **** I had no control over or events didn't even happen yet. I went out with my friends again, no longer was I stuck in my room. They even helped me sleep issues too. However, the withdrawals where horrible, if I didn't take my dosage immediately I was miserable, a dick to everyone. I was constantly worried about lost my bottle or a pre-auth not going through. I've seen people at the ER due to Benzo related problems. A friend of mine, her mother, she's an older lady, lost her bottle & her doc was on vacation & she was screwed. Benzos are definitely a life saver (was for me at one point in my life) but then they can also hurt you in so many ways, I just don't think it's worth it anymore.

Is their anything out there that can help me similar to a Benzo? Something with same effects but without the deadly withdrawals, the need to take more & more. It's a here & there drug not a maintenance drug, which is why I want to be off them. I was hoping by now doctors have something that can work quickly like a Xanax. Zoloft, Wellbutrin & so on never work, I've been a damn lab rat to these damn shrinks. They try medicine on me that takes months to even begin to work & that's if they even do work. I have a life, a family, I can't suffer for months in the hope that'll it eventually curb my anxiety sometime in the next decade. Has anyone found something that works for them? I don't know if any of you are in my position or similar one, but if you are what are you doing? What medications are you on, any therapy involved, etc.? I definitely don't want to live like this. Benzos are evil.
Thanks guys for letting me ramble on ✌
 
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