More bumpage. Surprisingly, my sensitivity to this stuff is going up! No sign of tolerance yet. 10 mg has gone from doing not all that much to almost completely 'curing' me. Asked my psych about the possibility of an NMDA antagonist though, complete with studies (she probably has probably already heard about it though, being a neuropsychiatrist).
If I start having problems with tolerance and don't score a memantine script, I'll have to stock up on MXE or DXM (don't want to touch ket unless it's at least veterinary-grade so the purity doesn't suck, and I'd of course be worried about bladder damage taking it long-term even on low-dose). I don't get raised eyebrows asking for boxes upon boxes of codeine at my pharmacy though, so I should be able to get lots of DXM there too.
I've also started seeing the first, and hopefully only side-effect. If I try to smoke, my gag reflex goes mad. I've never even experienced a gag reflex before in my life until now. I could even get my hand down into my oesophagus at one point without feeling anything, but now, whenever I exhale any smoke, my throat closes up and my oesophagus starts convulsing like crazy.
I thought it might have just been the cigarettes, seeing as nicotine is an emetic, but I tried smoking a pure joint and some pipe hits, and it still happens. It's almost like the feeling you get when you've been smoking too much weed and you don't feel like you can physically handle more smoke, except with added gagging.
I know they use D2 antagonists as anti-emetics, but I don't think it's the dopamine because I've never had this happen on the few occasions I've tried recreational doses of amphetamine. I thought it was more 5-HT3 agonism that was responsible for emesis, and that stimulants would decrease activity there? I don't actually feel nauseous either and I don't feel any vomit rising when I gag, so I really don't know what to think.
It's annoying though, because this stuff really makes me crave tobacco like nothing else. At home I've gone from smoking 2-3 a day to 10-15, and when I went out at the weekend I easily had 30 or 40 in one night compared to the 10 I normally go through.
On the plus side, tobacco seriously enhances the effect of the MPH, and I feel a headrush from each cigarette as if I'd never smoked before.
I'm starting to see the importance of psychological treatment for ADHD though, because even though my brain feels good, I just don't know what to do with myself. I've been untreated for so long and I'm so used to my brain being 'broken', I don't even know how to function normally or structure/organise anything. All the psychological help in the world would be useless without the pills, though.