I need some advice
Regarding medications,so far i've tried Sertraline,Lexapro,Tianeptine Sodium,Zyprexa,Diazepam,Klonopin,Xanax,Clozapine.
I've got bad dependence and withdrawal from Xanax after i took him for 4 solid year,it was good at keeping me calm and sedative + kinda high if i took it on the mornings,the usual dosages was betwen 0.50 and 1mg later before i decided to stop it,i made it till 1.5-2 mg,the withdrawal from him was hell,lasted almost a month,but with the help of Tianeptine Sodium + Clozapine i made it well.
Shortly after that,
I continued with Tianeptine Sodium for a good time,before my situation got worse and i needed to switch to something else,Tianeptine its my prefered one,easy to get on it,mild anti-anxiety effects,always on happy mood,it was good,but not good enough for my SAD.
Clozapine was the badass,i don't know but this drugs,completely wiped my SAD after one dosage,and the dosage was very tinny,always put me to sleep for a 2-3 hours,then i would wake up and feel zero anxiety,this was helped me soo much,but the doctors insisted to not take it too much,so after my withdrawal from Xanax ended,i runed out of Clozapine too,and continued with Tianeptine alone for the next years.
I decided to do something regarding my SAD,because i didn't have a job,i only work near house with usual things,and this is not good for me in the long run,so i've went to another doctor ,i told him my story,and he decided to put me on Sertraline,+ low dosage of Klonopin (short term) + Depakote,my first reaction to this SSRI's drugs was worse and kinda scared me,jitters,tremors,muscle spasms and sky-rocket anxiety,made me to drop out Sertraline after 5 weeks of usage (dosage was 50mg/day),withdrawal was hell,lasted for 3-4 weeks.
Then a good period i tried to be drug free,but nothing changed my mindset,i was still afraid as hell of people and SAD wouldn't let me make the progress to finally move up and get a job.
In Autumn i decided to try another round of SSRI medication,this time with Lexapro,first week was fine,barely side effects,then slowly i become worse,at 7th week i was so bad that i had anxiety attacks even in front of my parents or friends,that was not good,so i've droped out soon after,4-5 weeks of withdrawal there too,withdrawal from Lexapro was even nasty than one from Sertraline
I've begin this year with an full blown of depression,and gender indentity crisis,i barelly slept at nights,i was anxious as hell,i was a mess,i visited my doctor in that time,and i told him what problems i had,he decided to gave me at first Tianeptine for deprresion and Zyprexa for sleeping issues,Tianeptine did not help me a bit,Zyprexa was nasty one drug,i took one dosage of 5mg,and i would sleep for +16 hours,and after that i would wake up with tremors,nausea,headaches,no appetite,just tiredness and laying in bed.
After that,i visited him again,my depression+anxiety was still worse as hell,and after an small talk with him we decided to give Sertraline another shot,so i did it.
First week was okay,then the side effects appeared slowly,i started to take Tegretol to avoid muscle spasms and body tremors,later i introduced Ativan too,to help with my sky-rocket anxiety.
The problem is,even right now,after nearly 8 weeks on Sertraline,i didn't see an improvements on my SAD,and now im stuck with Tegretol + Ativan,without them im mess,Sertraline so far only helped my depression with isn't now a big deal,and my moods,im in general okay now,but this sky-rocket anxiety is still there even after 7 to nearly 8 weeks ?
My first intention now after i discused with my doctor,is to add Buspar,and slowly cut down Ativan - Tegretol,and give Sertraline another month before i will cut this down too and thinking of other medication.
But what medication i should try if Buspar + Sertraline didn't help even after 12 weeks ? And there i would like some advice from you guys,what is the best medication for SAD ?
I liked Clozapine so much,its effects on my anxiety was so good,but its an AA (Anti-Psychotic) and tardive diskinezia is an concern for me,so im running out of my known options.
Also Nardil its imposibile for me because i live in Roumania.
If anyone have some information or advice please help me,from what i see my brain didn't like SSRI and im not very likely to try another SSRI if Sertraline fails to help me.