Straight up failed uni because of my SAS - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-22-2019, 08:59 AM Thread Starter
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Straight up failed uni because of my SAS


I didn't talk to my teachers or other students and had no contacts with anyone and was too anxious and self conscious to participate or ask questions or attend sometimes... I don't want to drop out but at this rate I think I'm gonna have to
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post #2 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-22-2019, 10:59 AM
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I dropped out twice. you can always go back to it later

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post #3 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-22-2019, 11:17 AM
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That shouldn't, in itself affect your ability to pass. The whole thing about attendance is basically bs, lectures etc simply aren't a very good way to learn information. What could **** your ability to pass is if you believe this and don't do the reading behind the scenes.

And you are only talking about a pass, not a merit or distinction or whatever.

Also, make sure you contact the student support for your univ, in mine they drew up a learnign support plan (once I had provided evidence of my issues), and it basically gave me negotiated extensions to my deadlines.

You can also defer, pause your studies, all of that. No reason to fail nowadays, universities are extremely good with mental health problems in my experience (I went 20 years ago too and it was **** back then).

Enough about me, lets talk about you, what do you think about me?
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post #4 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-22-2019, 11:40 AM
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I dropped out of a post secondary music production course due to panic attacks and Iíve never done any kind of schooling since but agree, if you take some time to address your issues you can go back and also remember that you can get a lot of education through online courses now if you find you canít go back to a classroom
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post #5 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-22-2019, 12:29 PM
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Don’t worry Springdream, I also dropped out when I was younger as I hated going to lectures and the class discussions we had. I’m now doing my degree finally at the age of 32.

Life doesn’t have to follow the usual path of school then uni. Perhaps defer studies and try something different that feels better for you. Perhaps get some work/voluntary experience behind you and maybe this will boost your confidence for if you do decide to go back.

Wishing you all the best 🙂
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post #6 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-01-2019, 07:30 AM

 
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"Because of my SAS"

Yo, why u blaming us?

Jk, but really you could always take some time off if you wanted, just make sure that your school finances are taken care of and in order.
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post #7 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-01-2019, 08:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
That shouldn't, in itself affect your ability to pass. The whole thing about attendance is basically bs, lectures etc simply aren't a very good way to learn information. What could **** your ability to pass is if you believe this and don't do the reading behind the scenes.

And you are only talking about a pass, not a merit or distinction or whatever.

Also, make sure you contact the student support for your univ, in mine they drew up a learnign support plan (once I had provided evidence of my issues), and it basically gave me negotiated extensions to my deadlines.

You can also defer, pause your studies, all of that. No reason to fail nowadays, universities are extremely good with mental health problems in my experience (I went 20 years ago too and it was **** back then).
This^^

I made four stabs at college--four different schools. It was in the 70's and the term social anxiety hadn't been termed to my knowledge and as far as I knew there were no student support services etc. I felt completely alone and like a POS but it still shouldn't have dissuaded me from doing the work. I just couldn't see a point to it and gave up and it haunts me to this day. I really do believe if I could have seeked out a support system things might have been different.

...you gotta keep the goal in mind, develop tunnel vision to a certain extent. it's hard, and it's not for everyone.

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post #8 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-01-2019, 09:07 AM
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I dropped out 11th grade of high school. Anxiety is gonna keep creeping up, until healing the deeper wound (s) , that keep causing it. And being more aware of it.
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post #9 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-04-2019, 03:00 AM
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I'm gonna be real here.

If you can afford to I guess you can drop out and try again later.

However, if you live in the US, or some other country where there is a strong psychiatry/psychology culture ...then I am sure that with a little effort you can find a local therapist ....to help you with your anxiety's so that you don't have to drop out.

If you live in an area where going to a therapist is highly tabooed. Then you can go a more private route and seek help online. There are online therapy websites.

Also, I don't know what your living situation in university is...but if it is a dormitory situation, maybe you can talk to a staff member...or a roommate.

Please try these options first before dropping out. Wasted opportunities are always a tragedy, and the older we get the more expensive it becomes.

This isn't like repeating a year in primary or secondary school...leaving university and coming back..is very expensive...so please try your best.

The feeling of wanting to give up, comes to all of us, especially for our subgroup with SA.

It can feel like nobody gets you. Nobody understands how much more energy it takes for us to be in social settings. How draining it can be...how frustratingly nerve-wrecking.

But just remember the world isn't truly against us. People have better things to do than to collectively try to sabotage one person's life.

Early in my career in my first job...I had certain tasks that required good hand dexterity.
I play guitar, draw and build sculptures. My favourite toy as a kid was legos. So I know I am good with my hands. But SA kicked in...I got nervous, dropped things. Clients saw me drop things...I thought I would get fired.

But then...God bless this man. One of my supervisors pulled me aside and told me about when he was training in University...he told me how he was like me at my age...he said he once broke stuff during an exam ! Yet here he was.. years later in a senior position, master of his anxiety. He is still quiet, still keeps to himself...he did not magically become an extrovert....but he learned not to let his anxiety hinder his career.

So...if you are studying what you LOVE...do not let the anxiety monkey take that away from you.

Look in the mirror and tell that anxiety I WILL NOT LET YOU TAKE MY DREAM CAREER AWAY FROM ME !
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post #10 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-04-2019, 11:04 AM
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I dropped out of hs from bullying. Then I went back and finished my hs, got a scholarship for 1 year of uni, got denied a student loan for second year, and had to drop out. No way I could afford to go back now. I can't even get CCs, let alone bank loans. I'd just fail all my courses anyway.

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post #11 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-11-2019, 01:47 AM
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I thought this thread was going to be about how OPs addiction to this forum (similar to video games) is causing him to fail all his classes.
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post #12 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-11-2019, 06:11 AM
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If there is anyway that you can hang on until you graduate then I suggest you do so. Take me for example, I just graduated and got my bachelor's degree even though social anxiety and depression made it very difficult to do so. After you graduate you will get a degree that will boost your chances for higher paying jobs in the future, so look at it as an investment. As far as your depression and social anxiety, I suggest you start getting therapy and taking medication to deal with these problems ASAP so you can have a great future.
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post #13 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-15-2019, 05:10 PM
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I also can't talk in groups or make the effort to talk to my professors in person because of my SA. Because of that, I missed out on future friendships and connections that would have helped increase my socialization skills. One of the worse cases of SA for me was when I dropped out of nursing school two years ago because I chickened out of going to my first day of clinical rotation. It was around 5 in the morning when I had woken up to get ready but I couldn't force myself to get out of bed because of my SA. Then I went back to my old uni, changed degree, and is almost graduating. I'm going to make the effort of talking to my counselors on campus this semester when school starts again. Maybe talking to a counselor on campus could help and if not, talk to your doctor if they have any meds for you to take to help calm you down in social situations.
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post #14 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 06:22 AM
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Sorry to hear that.


I have a bachelors and masters degrees and I am unemployed. Sometimes university is not the right choice.
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post #15 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-23-2019, 03:39 PM
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Same here man. Iím a sophomore And Iím taking this semester off because my anxiety is ruining my grades. It doesnít hurt to just take a break and work on yourself. Hopefully I go back feeling better and more confident.

Live life no matter what.. never quit you deserve better.
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post #16 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-23-2019, 04:16 PM
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You must have meant SAD.

Same. It was the main, but not the only reason for me though. I just hated that degree I was doing and went there for wrong reasons. I'm not sure what would be if I didn't have SAD and what many people think comes just from SAD but it's deeper (inability to make friends, mental unhealthiness, general anxiety, depression, attention disorders etc). I'm wondering if I would be finishing that degree and becoming someone I'm not, with my true self totally lost like the person I was witnessing growing up. Would that disturbed part of me win? Something makes me think I still would willingly drop out.

Sorry for not currently replying to your posts addressed to me. I will do that later (hopefully in a few days) because now I can't Please, don't take it personally because you have nothing to do with it.
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post #17 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 08:22 PM
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I'd say try and stick it out, but school and college was hell for me. When I think back it's like I spent the whole time trying to blend in, avoid talks, presentations etc. That's when I actually attended classes lol.

So if it's really getting you down, why not call it a day for now and try your hand at getting a job, any job, just to see how it feels.

I agree with the suggestion to reach out and make use of any uni support services that are available, though. It could be enough to make you feel you aren't so alone and get you through.
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post #18 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-13-2019, 04:00 PM
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I'm forced to do presentations in a group project, and participate in sharing my ideas out in a group.

My major is psychology/neuroscience, and for psychology homework assignment I need to write 3-5 pages. An employee from the college said if I get good grades, I could create my own major. Y'all know what major I want besides neuroscience, when it comes to computational means.

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post #19 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-17-2019, 08:16 AM
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Y'all know what major I want besides neuroscience, when it comes to computational means.
I took an AI sequence for my cs major years ago. They were actually fun classes. So much has changed and advanced since then. Have fun.

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I didn't talk to my teachers or other students and had no contacts with anyone and was too anxious and self conscious to participate or ask questions or attend sometimes... I don't want to drop out but at this rate I think I'm gonna have to
As others have mentioned, you can take a break from attending then return later when you feel more up to trying again. Also you can consider community colleges that have a ton of online classes these days, or a commuter uni where you don't have to live in a dorm. And personal computers (or your mobile phone) are so much more powerful than over a decade ago even better and more powerful than student lab room computers back then. Lots of educational tools ( examples: linux, or virtual linux free for download to pc, or anki flashcard tool (https://apps.ankiweb.net/)) feasible on one's pc , remote connection etc. possible.
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post #20 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-17-2019, 08:48 AM
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Don't let anxiety ruin things! You are better than your anxiety.


I remember the unmedicated panic attacks and feeling stiff as a board at 4am worrying about a 10 point quiz, but I trudged through it anyway......and got my degree, even if it took almost six years.

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