I want to scream and run away - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-26-2020, 01:12 AM Thread Starter
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I want to scream and run away

Vocational school hasn't even started for me yet but I'm already so full of fear and panic that I feel hopelessly desperate. I know my weaknesses very well and they gnaw very hard on me. They're intimidating. They're like a big nasty monster that wants to devour my entire body. I ask myself, why do I have to keep fighting? Is it better when I just give up bc I'll fail anyways. I should rather choose another professional career. A job where I have to interact with no or scarce human being. A job where expectations are so low that they don't give me a panic attack. A job that may don't make me happy but a job where I won't be in constant stress. Maybe this be the right decision for me. My SAD is still so severe and I struggle w/ a lot of things due my autistic traits. Maybe I put too much onto my plate and I'm not up to the challenge so I should throw away all my dreams. I'm scared of failure. I fear that I will fail immensely.
I just want to scream and run away.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-26-2020, 05:42 AM
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Youre emotions are valid. I can relate with wanting to running away from everything and never ever looking back. The more I get out of the house the harder it seemed. You have weaknesses and strengths try to focus on your strengths as everyone struggles with weaknesses and limitations. Your brain will come up reasons as to why you should make assumptions and associations based on fear, then the your thoughts validate your emotions. It can be a lifelong constant battle and if you struggle with depression of any sort it will make you feel like your progress is hindered as the more you try to get out of the slope. Fear of failure is a common fear but it can also become a self fulfilling prophecy. If you expect to fail its more likely to happen though they are learning experiences and feeling like a failure is a terrible terrible feeling. I hated it. I tried not to dwell on it and did the best I could to think rationally, realistically, and postively, though with mental disorders theirs a tendency to have so many common cognitive distoritions that spiral out of control and need to be identified so you can challenge them. I struggled seeing everything with black and white thinking and focusing maximizing on the weaknesses and failures, past, regrets, and then feel awful while minimizing the positive and strengths or disqualifying altogether. It takes time, and the good news youre very very young so you still have time to change things for the better.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence and than success is sure," Mark Twain

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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-26-2020, 09:12 AM
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minilop, im sorry youre struggling.....i hope things improve soon....by the way welcome to the forum, i think you will like this place
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-26-2020, 02:06 PM
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hey, i'm sorry you're struggling love. i wish i knew how to help or what to say. i relate to feeling like you have to hang up your dreams because your mental health seems to be demanding that of you. i fear failure to a degree that isn't normal, too. and it sometimes becomes crippling. i really really really urge you to try your best to seek out a support system for your mental health. they help.

'there is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go' (tennessee williams)

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