Paranoia Problem? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 10-13-2019, 06:57 AM Thread Starter
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Paranoia Problem?


I seem to have a paranoia problem - the same pattery repeats each time.

I start a new job, with the hope of connecting with people. But, over time, I get excluded, I don't have much to say and I start thinking my manager and supervisor are talking about me behind my back and I will be getting dismissed soon. I keep falling into this pattern and I don't want to. I have all these beliefs popping up all the time.

I recall my childhood - my mum was (I'm convinced) is a narcissist and utterly paranoid. She was always saying her ex-partners were always plotting to destroy her. She said this for years and years. She always thought people were talking about her behind her back. I can recall countless times this happened.

Has my paranoia come from this? I can't think where else it has come from?

Also, I often think I should be paranoid because I have failed in many relationships and knowing this was going to happen. I've had jobs when I've been insecure about my position and I have lost my job.

Am I making this come true by thinking about it all the time? I'm nearly 40 and have struggled with this my entire life. I really need to have this sorted but don't know where to begin. Please help!

Lee.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-23-2019, 07:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeeMills771 View Post
I seem to have a paranoia problem - the same pattery repeats each time.

I start a new job, with the hope of connecting with people. But, over time, I get excluded, I don't have much to say and I start thinking my manager and supervisor are talking about me behind my back and I will be getting dismissed soon. I keep falling into this pattern and I don't want to. I have all these beliefs popping up all the time.

I recall my childhood - my mum was (I'm convinced) is a narcissist and utterly paranoid. She was always saying her ex-partners were always plotting to destroy her. She said this for years and years. She always thought people were talking about her behind her back. I can recall countless times this happened.

Has my paranoia come from this? I can't think where else it has come from?

Also, I often think I should be paranoid because I have failed in many relationships and knowing this was going to happen. I've had jobs when I've been insecure about my position and I have lost my job.

Am I making this come true by thinking about it all the time? I'm nearly 40 and have struggled with this my entire life. I really need to have this sorted but don't know where to begin. Please help!

Lee.

Paranoia can definitely come from bad experiences. I can't STAND it when people don't recognize that fact. Some people just have more experience seeing things go wrong than others and you shouldn't make them feel bad for it! Anyways, the thing with paranoia is it's weird if you're also an SA'er because both SA and paranoia involve a type of hyper-vigilance. With SA you're always over-analyzing and worrying about what others think and in paranoia you're always defensive and expecting people to be belligerent. Not to mention that both conditions just feed into themselves through a positive feedback loop.

Unfortunately, through experience, I know that the issue is that when you're uneasy it makes people around you uneasy which makes you more uneasy...another feedback loop!

And if everybody is trying to focus on their work or have a tendency to be introverted then it makes it even harder to just break the ice. My advice would be to just do rather than think and to communicate clearly about everything if you can. For example, if I'm feeling awkward I'll say: "hey sorry I'm standing here oddly I'm just trying to figure out this thing that's written down and make sure I get it right." But back to the action over preemption, some of my biggest regrets in life have been from hesitation and keeping quiet. But you do have to be realistic and accept failure as a possibility anytime you put yourself out there.

In conclusion, communication is super-important. Believe me, things get a LOT harder without it! I'd go so far as to say I'd rather have my enemies communicating openly over my friends not communicating because you can at least glean information.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-07-2020, 07:02 PM
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there is an old video on youtube which might help you.

i cant post the link here as forum wont let me but do a youtube search for "Motivational Video: Simple steps that can change your life in 10 mins by Zig Ziglar"
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-25-2020, 09:20 AM
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@Mr Biscuit , no offense but this video made me want to drink the kool aid xD Anyways, I get a little paranoid too @LeeMills771 , but with me it's because people I would get along with perfectly fine otherwise want to invade my privacy. After they do that, it just feels like talking to wolves in sheeps clothing looking to make up nasty stories and spread misinformation for anything they can get...is that paranoid to you?
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