I seem to have a paranoia problem - the same pattery repeats each time.
I start a new job, with the hope of connecting with people. But, over time, I get excluded, I don't have much to say and I start thinking my manager and supervisor are talking about me behind my back and I will be getting dismissed soon. I keep falling into this pattern and I don't want to. I have all these beliefs popping up all the time.
I recall my childhood - my mum was (I'm convinced) is a narcissist and utterly paranoid. She was always saying her ex-partners were always plotting to destroy her. She said this for years and years. She always thought people were talking about her behind her back. I can recall countless times this happened.
Has my paranoia come from this? I can't think where else it has come from?
Also, I often think I should be paranoid because I have failed in many relationships and knowing this was going to happen. I've had jobs when I've been insecure about my position and I have lost my job.
Am I making this come true by thinking about it all the time? I'm nearly 40 and have struggled with this my entire life. I really need to have this sorted but don't know where to begin. Please help!