Interviews - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-29-2020, 04:07 PM Thread Starter
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Interviews


I suck at interviews. Yes I’m afraid of people and criticism so it makes sense but it sucks. I’m a first year law student, I got great grades my first semester and now I’m getting a bunch of interviews but I’m bombing. I hate talking about myself, maybe it’s bc I don’t like myself. Everyone keeps telling me to be more confident and sell myself. Like cool but I’m not confident, I can’t just turn it on, and I hate talking about myself. I’m personable, I’m friendly, I know that people like me and like talking to me even tho I’m perpetually afraid of them but that’s bc I ask them questions and care about what they’re saying. It just sucks that I’ve worked so hard to come this far and this last step is stopping me and I don’t know what to do. I need an internship soon and I’m running out of options and honestly I walk away from every interview feeling sick to my stomach. Growing up people would tell me I was loud or annoying when I would speak my mind so overtime I got quieter to the point where now I’m terrified of talking to others, especially a group of people. And now everyone’s telling me to be louder and sure of myself. I’m so sick of this. I get so nervous during the interviews I forget all my talking points, honestly, I feel like giving up, what’s the point. Why can’t they just look at my resume and grades, I do better than the other interviewees but they’re not scared of people so grades really don’t matter I guess. It just feels extremely hopeless and nobody understands. If you have any suggestions let me know.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-29-2020, 04:14 PM
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Basically look at interviews as a performance piece. As if you're putting on an act. I rehearsed my answers to common interview questions - like a script. That included tone of voice too lol. I sometimes come off as very... how do I say this... monotone? I don't know I need to work on my excited/happy tone. But I use that for interviews. Some things I say about myself...I might not actually believe (cause of lack of confidence) but I'll say it anyway and find ways to make it fit into the requirements of the position I'm applying for. Ah yes...read those requirements and tailor them to your personality.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-29-2020, 04:26 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aqwsderf View Post
Basically look at interviews as a performance piece. As if you're putting on an act. I rehearsed my answers to common interview questions - like a script. That included tone of voice too lol. I sometimes come off as very... how do I say this... monotone? I don't know I need to work on my excited/happy tone. But I use that for interviews. Some things I say about myself...I might not actually believe (cause of lack of confidence) but I'll say it anyway and find ways to make it fit into the requirements of the position I'm applying for. Ah yes...read those requirements and tailor them to your personality.
But when you rehearse how do you remember everything? I rehearse like crazy and forget everything as soon as I walk in the room.
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-06-2020, 03:32 AM
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I'm not sure. I wrote on a paper a list of questions I had for the interviewer so that I wouldn't forget those. In that same page maybe you could bullet point a few talking points you want to make so you can scan quickly and help it serve as a reminder?

I also had my resume in front of me.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-29-2020, 05:43 PM
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I'm going to recycle some material from a post I made a view years back. But basically, job interviews are stressful by nature. Most people, even normal folks, don't enjoy them. Combine this situation with a little social anxiety to compound things and...well...you find yourself in a bit of a bind.

I often found myself so nervous that I was struggling to remember my responses to common interview questions when I first started searching for jobs. It was frustrating. So I did what I could to mitigate my nervousness.

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During two my best job interviews where I was actually offered the position, I was just super confident in myself and didn't care about the outcome. That prevented me from succumbing to anxiety and shooting myself in the foot. For the first job, I felt comfortable with the job description and believed I was more than qualified so if they rejected me, that was their loss and not mine. For the second place, I walked in knowing that I already accepted a job offer elsewhere so I was just there to memorize the questions they asked in case I decide to apply again in the future. Made no difference if they decided to hire me or not because I wouldn't accept the job offer anyway. This attitude really lifted the burden of social anxiety for me.
This attitude really worked for me as it calmed me down and allowed me to be me so it may be useful. I wasn't a loose cannon. I still put in the same effort for my interviews. The difference was that I was more at peace with whether or not I was offered the position, so I ended up worrying less about what others thought and was able to show off more of my personality and talk about myself and my skills (because I was finally able to remember my answers lol). It sounds as though that may be happening here so if you're able to manage that nervousness a bit, then that may help you remember your responses in addition to potentially making your friendliness and personable attitude more prominent.

aqwsderf made some great suggestions and I actually do maintain a list of common interview questions as well. Craft some responses but don't try to memorize them verbatim. Use key talking points.

As for confidence, your grades are higher than the competition's so that must mean you know the material and can contribute to wherever you are applying. Do whatever else you can to boost your confidence levels. For me personally, I get a proper haircut/shave and then dress sharp for my interview. Makes me feel like how I imagine Tony Stark feels putting on the Iron Man suit.

Best of luck!
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-06-2020, 01:58 PM
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You just have to keep practicing until it gets easier and you have less anxiety. You can use other students to help you practice and there are also services that will do it. There was a site years ago and you could go online with other people to practice for free. They would give you the questions to ask and you would take turns. It was a good confidence booster.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-21-2020, 12:49 PM
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interviews are an art, because it is important to keep attention, to interest people
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-24-2020, 06:34 AM
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I am also a shy guy who is afraid of talking in front of a lot of people, but when it comes to interviews, i am fine . I think it has something to do with my practice. I have gone to a lot of interviews. I prepared a lot of before the interviews so i am calmer in the real scene. Thanks to my experience in interviews, now i dont have to prepare a lot before job interviews.

Practice makes perfect. Good luck.
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