Gonna confront a coworker tomorrow. - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-13-2019, 10:16 PM Thread Starter
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Gonna confront a coworker tomorrow.


He is obviously targeting me and bullying me I don't know why. Maybe he does it to others but I really don't care. He is not going to do it to me. I could possibly lose my job but I will try my best not to. I honestly don't care if he is above me. I'll find another. I already confronted one coworker and got his *** to straighten out but that was too easy and this fool probably thinks just cause he is high rank he can do whatever he wants.

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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 08:49 AM
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He is obviously targeting me and bullying me I don't know why. Maybe he does it to others but I really don't care. He is not going to do it to me. I could possibly lose my job but I will try my best not to. I honestly don't care if he is above me. I'll find another. I already confronted one coworker and got his *** to straighten out but that was too easy and this fool probably thinks just cause he is high rank he can do whatever he wants.

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You might be better dealing with his boss than him directly. Bullying is generally frowned upon in the workplace.

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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 09:35 AM Thread Starter
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You might be better dealing with his boss than him directly. Bullying is generally frowned upon in the workplace.
Im backing out of my original plan. ****in A man. This job is too important. Ughhh. I'm just going to have to figure out how to deal with this a less aggressive way. I admit I need this job. But this man been on my nuts ever since I got here. I don't know if he has short man complex or not but I get the feeling he is out for me. His boss is my boss as well but my supervisor and him are like at the same level.

Always trying to do something negative. Maybe he is just messing around and he does it to other people but this is not the idea I get. Grrrrr. Wish I could just walk in his office right now and just close the door but it's too risky. The other guy I confronted was just a worker like me so he doesn't **** with me anymore. He is scared of me now.

****in A I think I will just **** with him for now on. Maybe bully him a few times as well but indiscreetly. That or non aggressively confront him at a specific time. Ughhh. Got to figure this out as well but if mfers start screaming it's a wrap.

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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 09:53 AM
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People suck.

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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 10:50 AM Thread Starter
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People suck.
Yeah but money is more important. Will reevaluate how I want to approach this.

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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 09:20 PM
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Maybe bully him a few times as well but indiscreetly.
That sounds like a very good idea.
Oh yeah I like this.
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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 10:47 PM
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Yea its a tough situation when the bully is a superior at work. Been there myself. You threaten him or kick his *** its your job. You could challenge him to meet up and settle this off the clock like men. Or go to human resources or his superior. Or his tires on his car could magically go flat! Karma is a *****! ( not suggesting you do anything illegal but sometimes bad crap just happens to people)

Lots of options for you all have risks however. Dont do what I did I just took the punishment. Take some action. Good luck
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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 11:33 PM
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Directly tell your boss. If you engage the bully, it can escalate the problem and your job can be jeopardy.
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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 11:34 PM
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Terrible idea. Never directly confront a bully at work!

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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 03:01 AM
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You could challenge him to meet up and settle this off the clock like men.
you're condoning assault and battery? the hell?

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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 07:08 AM
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Terrible idea. Never directly confront a bully at work!

I told him not to confront him at work. Deal with it off the clock and off company property. Or in the alternative go through official channels and notify su.periors at work.


Going through official channels may not work very well however. Depends on what type of upper management you have at the company. They will side with the superior normally since they are considered the more valuable person to the company. Also you will be labeled a snitch. So if you got to management make sure you have evidence. Cell phone recording would work nicely!
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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 07:10 AM
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you're condoning assault and battery? the hell?
No I am not. Hopefully you can discuss the issue with him and violence will not come of it. But if it does you have the right of self defense.
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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 07:52 AM
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@versikk > I thought I had seen your new userpic somewhere...


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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 08:26 AM
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I told him not to confront him at work. Deal with it off the clock and off company property. Or in the alternative go through official channels and notify su.periors at work.


Going through official channels may not work very well however. Depends on what type of upper management you have at the company. They will side with the superior normally since they are considered the more valuable person to the company. Also you will be labeled a snitch. So if you got to management make sure you have evidence. Cell phone recording would work nicely!
I agree, higher-ups usually have stronger emotional, and business-related bonds with each other.
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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 08:47 AM
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@versikk > I thought I had seen your new userpic somewhere...

rofl

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post #16 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 08:49 AM
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@versikk I like how the dot isn't centered in your avatar, makes it seems mildly subversive.

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post #17 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 09:47 AM
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@versikk I like how the dot isn't centered in your avatar, makes it seems mildly subversive.
yay :3

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post #18 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by chrisinmd View Post
I told him not to confront him at work. Deal with it off the clock and off company property. Or in the alternative go through official channels and notify su.periors at work.


Going through official channels may not work very well however. Depends on what type of upper management you have at the company. They will side with the superior normally since they are considered the more valuable person to the company. Also you will be labeled a snitch. So if you got to management make sure you have evidence. Cell phone recording would work nicely!
If going through the official channels with a complaint that you're being bullied at work doesn't help, you should probably seriously consider finding a job with another employer. If they are that ambivalent (unwilling to get involved) about the well-being of their employees in this area, they are probably going to be the same way about other things and (if you have a choice) they're not the kind of people you should really want to work for anyway.

That's if you have a choice and you can actually get another job and it doesn't completely disrupt your life. If you can't do that I still would not recommend direct confrontation even if you don't think things will get physical. Direct confrontation of a bully is just a bad idea (IMO). The only people who should be doing it are higher ups and even they could be risking their safety or even their job by doing so.

Ideally, maybe you could smooth things over by trying to get to know the person and letting them know you're not their enemy. This rarely works for bullies but it might be worth a shot if you're in a bind and have no other solution.
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post #19 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 05:02 PM Thread Starter
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Terrible idea. Never directly confront a bully at work!
No. It has worked already with another coworker. I just walked straight in his office and I could tell he was stressed out and scared af from me confronting him. He doesn't **** with me or dare try me anymore. It was too easy. But like I said before he is a worker bee like me.

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post #20 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-15-2019, 05:14 PM Thread Starter
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Yea its a tough situation when the bully is a superior at work. Been there myself. You threaten him or kick his *** its your job. You could challenge him to meet up and settle this off the clock like men. Or go to human resources or his superior. Or his tires on his car could magically go flat! Karma is a *****! ( not suggesting you do anything illegal but sometimes bad crap just happens to people)



Lots of options for you all have risks however. Dont do what I did I just took the punishment. Take some action. Good luck
Naa man. This man is a 40 plus year old 5'3" 140 pounds who probably been a nerd his whole life. I'm mopping the floor with his face if it gets physical. I'm not trying to beat his ***. I'm trying to get him to back off. I tried bullying him once before already and it was kinda funny. I could see it in his face he doesn't like it. But I don't want him to feel like now he has to keep getting at me because I can tell he probably been bullied his whole life. I'm just trying to get him to back off in a way that he won't be trying to sabotage me at every moment.

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