Upcoming 'Death' Party (Help needed) - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 09:28 AM Thread Starter
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Upcoming 'Death' Party (Help needed)


One of my other cries for help for parties, so I hope I don't bother anyone with it.

Upcoming Saturday evening, a party will be given at home for both my own birthday and my brother's (since our birthday are quite close to eachother). Only this time will the party be really big, bigger than normally. Around 40 people are coming, including a large friends group that's with my brother, and I can already start hearing the questions like "When are you starting with your driver license?" or "When are you finally going to start to work and earn money?". Combining this with my deprived mental energy, this is going to be an absolute nightmare.

Normally I know a few tricks to keep people busy on parties so I can relax for a few minutes, but this time I got no idea how I'm going to get through this. I'm afraid this party will be so bad I might end up doing horrible, irreversible things.

If anyone has any advice, tips or things I should definitely do (or not do) at the party, please tell me because I'm really desperate.

"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."

"Just because you're breathing, doesn't mean you're alive."
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 12:02 PM
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what kind of horrible, irreversible things might you do?
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 12:09 PM Thread Starter
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what kind of horrible, irreversible things might you do?
Things that I can not talk about on this forum because it's against the rules, I can PM you the things if you're further interested though.

"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."

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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 12:40 PM
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oh man, please don't hurt yourself. please.


you know what i think you should do? write down excuses that you feel comfortable telling, and keep them in an encrypted diary or something (if you're paranoid). you need to be able to protect yourself from this kind of situation, because it will likely happen again in the future. the fact that you have prepared answers for future occasions, might provide some relief.

design and practice an excuse for every possible situation. when you get the question "why don't you have a job?", you should be able to give the same answer every time. it should be tailored to your own lifestyle and to the kind of people who might ask you that question.

however, i think you should also try to remember: when you found yourself in a similar situation in the past, how many questions did you actually receive during that day? what went wrong during that day and how can you avoid that mistake now and in the future? what excuses or answers seemed to work best in the past?
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 12:55 PM
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get drunk. have a nap. go out elsewhere. tell them you dont want a party. stay in your room. just endure it like always. pretend to be normal. eat all the food.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 12:56 PM Thread Starter
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oh man, please don't hurt yourself. please.


you know what i think you should do? write down excuses that you feel comfortable telling, and keep them in an encrypted diary or something (if you're paranoid). you need to be able to protect yourself from this kind of situation, because it will likely happen again in the future. the fact that you have prepared answers for future occasions, might provide some relief.

design and practice an excuse for every possible situation. when you get the question "why don't you have a job?", you should be able to give the same answer every time. it should be tailored to your own lifestyle and to the kind of people who might ask you that question.

however, i think you should also try to remember: when you found yourself in a similar situation in the past, how many questions did you actually receive during that day? what went wrong during that day and how can you avoid that mistake now and in the future? what excuses or answers seemed to work best in the past?
Wouldn't it be a bit too obvious if I would use the same excuse over and over again? I normally do this actually but now there are too many people at once.
In the past I got around 1-2 questions of (for example) "When are you starting with your driver license?", but I wasn't at the center of attention. I can try to use old excuses but I need to vary a bit otherwise it becomes too obvious.

And about the hurting part, don't worry about that.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 01:02 PM Thread Starter
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get drunk. have a nap. go out elsewhere. tell them you dont want a party. stay in your room. just endure it like always. pretend to be normal. eat all the food.
I don't drink alcohol, and neither can I go elsewhere. Plus I can't even stay in my room because my brother's friends need to stay there overnight. And I always try to be normal, but it eats away energy putting up a mask till like the next morning.

I appreciate the help but it wouldn't work, sorry.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 01:30 PM
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if you're intent on not changing then the established solution will have to do, which I assumed is the just endure it option, which is fine.

they're staying in your room?

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 01:49 PM Thread Starter
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if you're intent on not changing then the established solution will have to do, which I assumed is the just endure it option, which is fine.

they're staying in your room?
What do you mean with 'not changing'? And normally I got jo choice other than to endure it.

Yeah, not that I had much of a choice though. I'll sleep somwhere else, but I don't really like it when strangers sleep in my room.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-05-2019, 01:53 PM
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What do you mean with 'not changing'? And normally I got jo choice other than to endure it.

Yeah, not that I had much of a choice though. I'll sleep somwhere else, but I don't really like it when strangers sleep in my room.
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why dont you have choices? yeah I meant not changing as in discarding the options as not choices. which is fine if you cant do them, or dont want to do them. it just means you're on rails and whatever has been chosen to happen by other people is what is going to happen to you.

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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-06-2019, 12:57 AM Thread Starter
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why dont you have choices? yeah I meant not changing as in discarding the options as not choices. which is fine if you cant do them, or dont want to do them. it just means you're on rails and whatever has been chosen to happen by other people is what is going to happen to you.
It's not a matter of choice, anything I want and tried in the past gets disregarded by my mother almost immediately, so I'm basically stuck.

"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."

"Just because you're breathing, doesn't mean you're alive."
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-06-2019, 08:41 AM
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Wouldn't it be a bit too obvious if I would use the same excuse over and over again? I normally do this actually but now there are too many people at once.
In the past I got around 1-2 questions of (for example) "When are you starting with your driver license?", but I wasn't at the center of attention. I can try to use old excuses but I need to vary a bit otherwise it becomes too obvious.
Those kinds of nuances can only be taken into consideration by you; I can't do that for a number of reasons
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-06-2019, 10:36 AM Thread Starter
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Those kinds of nuances can only be taken into consideration by you; I can't do that for a number of reasons
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Fair enough, I'll just have to make the most of it.

"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."

"Just because you're breathing, doesn't mean you're alive."
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