I have both gender dysphoria and OCD. I also grew up in a small redneck town in the 80s, where the only thing you ever heard about people like me was that "If I ever met anyone like that, I'd kill them." So I definitely understand the fear. And no doubt it was growing up in that environment (and all the bullying I got for being weird) that gave me my OCD.
As far as family goes ... well, I come from a family of crazy people. And I mean that literally, since several of them have schizophrenia and talk to squirrels and think they're related to the Queen of England and stuff. That's both good and bad. On the one hand, it's not a big deal if you have a mental illness in my family (I have 8 siblings, and all of them have been diagnosed with something; I'm still waiting on my diagnosis) but on the other hand, I'm pretty sure that my parents think my gender identity is just some kind of obsession that will go away if they ignore it long enough. I came out to them about a year and a half ago and they haven't breathed a word about it since. (No one else in my family is queer -- surprisingly -- so they're completely clueless about the whole thing. My brother shares transphobic memes on FB and if there's one thing my sister loves it's jokes about gay people. But I digress.)
I use Jeffrey Schwartz's Four Steps to manage my OCD. (It's easy to Google.) I'm sure it doesn't work for everyone (what does?) but it's been a lifesaver for me. I probably would have killed myself a few years ago if I hadn't started using it (my OCD is about some pretty horrible things). It took me several months of dedicated application to get it to work, though. It takes time to rewire your brain. I still have OCD, but I find it a lot easier to cope with now.
And it's true, in a way, that if everyone already thinks that you're crazy, you might as well just do what you want. It's not like people's opinion of me could be any lower than it already is. But at the same time, you still have to worry about your physical safety. And nothing attracts violence like gender-nonconforming behavior.
I love that expression, btw -- "you meet your destiny on the road you take to avoid it". I've never heard it before.
For forty-seven years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming ... but how?