Sister thinks it's okay to make fun of my mental illness.
Basically I have a sister that thinks it's okay to make fun of my bipolar disorder, thinks that she is superior to me (better than me in general) and on top of that makes me feel very uncomfortable in front of family. (sometimes she would insult me. She used to majorly insult me because she used to be jealous of every one of my achievements)
She is the very reason why I once wanted to hurt myself (sorry I don't want to even think about saying that awful word!) and the reason why I never spend time with my family. Like everyone else here, I have social anxiety. Now today was awful!
I have bipolar disorder and I was in a very negative, hellish, depressive state. Usually, when I am in this kind of state, I feel so much rage and depression, that I am literally crying, screaming, breaking things and in general just flipping out!!!
I know this can seem funny to people, but my sister and other sister who moved away would greatly stigmatize??? mental illness of any sort. Today, I was very unstable. Now, I don't know why this bothers me so much, maybe it's because I have ptsd from being talked about and bullied in school, but today, I walked into the living room and my sister just sat there with this nasty smirk on her face. (It's something both of my sisters would do to intimidate me, It was also this "I know something you don't" look and "I'm going to tell everyone")
She knew that I flipped out today and went crashing down, like I used to do frequently. Though, today, Instead of looking away in fear, I just looked her right in the eye and rolled my eyes at her, didn't get a reaction out of her because now, apparently, she's "better" than me. LOL
I swear, my sisters "took me down". That's the way I would describe it at least. I used to be so confident in myself, but her jealous a** had to gang up on me with my oldest sister, who, by the way, was like a best friend to me. It's as if she knew that I was being bullied at school in the same way, so she told my sister that I was doing "dirty things" in my room. I don't know how, but my sister, who was the oldest, by the way, turned against me.
Every day had become just like high school all over again. I would finish eating dinner and they would stay there. I was so innocent and unsespecting, that I truly believed my sisters loved me. It was a complete lie and let me tell you, I hurt like hell. It hurt like hell to hear those words come out of my oldest sisters mouth! "Oh my gosh! She ACTUALLY thinks that we like her!" "That's the biggest LIE we ever told her!" I still remember it, word for word.
I felt so much betrayal, that I just went to my room and cried silently for hours. When I told my parents, they never believed me. They would also say ugly, mean and hateful things under their breath, I would say something back and they would automatically tell my mom that I needed my medications raised, which left me sedated and I was unable to move on with life. They completely destroyed my self confidence, made me feel absolutely worthless and this girl has the audacity to sit there with a smirk on her face today! She should feel ashamed! Ashamed of every thing that she did to me in the past!
It wasn't her alone that completely made fun of my mental illness, my eldest sister had also joined in! One time, I was on the verge of hurting myself and they just sat there laughing at me. Of course, my parents weren't there to see it, but It really messed me up. I had attempted so many times because I felt so unsafe at home. When I told my parents about their behavior, they would say nothing was going on when there really was something going on and I fought to let them know who my sisters really were!
This resulted in arguments, where I was left in pain and rage, It was just so unfair. And you know what these two would do? They would start to talk bad about me, JUST to get that same reaction out of me, every single day!
I absolutely hate my sisters for what they have done, especially her, she acts like she's "cool" for making fun of mentally ill people, though the only person that would get that kind of treatment was of course me. Had they seen mental illness on TV or movies, they would act all sympathetic towards them! It honestly makes me SICK! I am disgusted and disturbed by those two girls who I am ashamed to call my sisters! I have disowned them and of course, they don't give a sh#T!
Now, I'm stuck at home, with no job. I used to be on honor roll, I used to be pounds smaller and that's what my sister was jealous of! She just had to let jealousy get the best of her! She was awful! My eldest sister did not help either. She just played along with all of my second oldest sisters attempts to make me feel bad. They would even make me feel like a bad person for standing up for myself!
They would look me up and down, give me dirty looks, exchange glances and scoff at me! It all made me feel so uncomfortable as a socially anxious person! I wasted so much time away from my parents, Now, their in their 50's I'll never get that time back! I am crying right now!
I guess I can't let all of this go because I have ptsd! I need to go to counseling, that's one thing I'll do this year. (as much as I possibly can)
Thanks for listening, I hope someone could give me some advice on how to deal with this.
Thanks again guys.
There's one more thing I would like to mention and she did it just this morning. She pulls out her phone and takes pictures of me and they're all unflattering. I honestly don't know where all the pictures are going(I have a big nose as well, my sisters would often make fun of it and call me ugl) I don't know what I should do about that. Usually, I just ignore it.
My sister is still trying to intimidate me by staring at me. My freaking depressive episode didn't even involve her and yet she just sits there and acts like she's never going to let me live it down or something. LOL I'm still pissed as hell from yesterday and today, I looked at her again and I honestly hate seeing the ugly looks on her face (it just makes me want to slap her even more LOL)
I don't know I'm just going to ignore it and get on with my day as I usually do because fighting with her is not benefiting me. I swear to god, she acts as if she is a king or something because she thinks that I have to be afraid of her. At this point I think I'm just going to ignore.
Last edited by HeatherGrey; 11-26-2019 at 06:45 AM.
Reason: Adding More