My mum doesn't care that we're broke - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-24-2017, 12:16 PM Thread Starter
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My mum doesn't care that we're broke

So I get really depressed sometimes because I don't think my mum cares about earning money to actually provide for me or herself.

I'm not from a particularly well off family to start with because my mum was made redundant when I was nine and because she never found work again my dad got sick of providing for all of us himself, and left when I was fourteen. Since then it's just been me and my mum and my brother living off of benefits and the remaining money from the house that was sold after we moved to a rental. I'm sad because I'm seventeen now and after my mum quit her only job since the one she lost eight years ago after working there for about two months, she has made practically zero effort to provide for me or herself.

My brother doesn't really need to be looked after because he's got a job that pays enough while he studies at uni, but still lives with my mum and I at home. I've tried really hard to get a job myself but it's so difficult in the tiny town I'm from, I have to get a train to just get school. I know it sounds awful but I can't just rely on my parents for money like some of my friends do because my mum doesn't have any, and my dad thinks he pays enough for me with my child maintenance which pays for my food and the roof over my head. The overall point to all of this is that I'm really sick of being ridiculously poor and the idea that I won't be able to afford to go to uni is a possibility.

I've tried to talk to her about it, but every time I ask her if she's looked for any work, made any steps towards this guitar teaching business she's wanted for years, she either gives me a really vague answer (which normally means she hasn't done anything) or just ignores the question. I feel like this implies that if she's not passionate about working to provide for us both then she's not passionate about looking after me. I wish I could say she's like the parents that I read about when the parents are divorced and their mum works their butt off so they can still have a decent standard of living, or go to school but my mum just doesn't do that. She wakes up at about eleven everyday, and usually when I home from school at about half four she has done nothing all day and is sometimes still in her pyjamas.

If I even make a little progress in getting her to talk about it she turns the whole thing around so I sound like I'm trying to be spoiled or starts talking about how my dad should be paying for more things (which is a lost cause). The whole situation is so depressing and she doesn't seem to realise that the money in her account is not going to last since her benefits got cut, I'm scared I won't find a job, won't be able to afford to go to uni and that my mum just can't be bothered to provide for me... any advice for this is appreciated.
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-24-2017, 09:44 PM
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Aww maybe you can get a scholarship or maybe other family members can help out.

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-25-2017, 12:57 AM
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-29-2017, 09:03 AM
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Not great advice but some schools offer working scholarships and apply for FASFA might help pay for classes. Search for scholarships, you might find something that can help.

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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-29-2017, 11:47 PM
Seriously , never serious
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Not every one can go to uni .
So I'd suggest you get a job when you leave school and make a life for yourself as best you can with the cards that you got dealt . Welcome to the real world .
You know you can probable get a uni debt to pay for study and pay back when your working , depending where you are of course . Which could be an option .

. WTF is wrong with me

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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-30-2017, 04:32 AM
You tell me
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What do you want to study at uni? You may be better off doing a trade. More work.
As for your mum, does she have a mental illness? She sounds like she could have depression or anxiety.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-07-2017, 04:00 AM
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Sometimes, life can be tough. But you know, this can be an opportunity for you. If you can go for scholarships, do it. Otherwise, you need to make a plan - work work work and then go to school. It will be very difficult but worth it when you're done.
Good luck!
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