Forgiveness... - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-27-2019, 12:35 AM Thread Starter
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Forgiveness...


How do you learn to forgive and be content with what someone hurtfully did to you in the past?
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-27-2019, 03:54 AM
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Forgiving is not forgetting; but forgiving helps you move on from what someone has done to you

While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man, wishing he could talk softly in her ear...

While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND, & INSULT her,
there's a man flirting with her, & reminding her, how wonderful she is.

While you HURT your woman,
there's a man wishing he could show her love

While you make your woman CRY,
there's a man stealing smiles from her.
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-27-2019, 09:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunFlower2011 View Post
How do you learn to forgive and be content with what someone hurtfully did to you in the past?
Revenge is the only way.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-27-2019, 09:09 PM Thread Starter
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Forgiving is not forgetting; but forgiving helps you move on from what someone has done to you
Thanks.
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 03-27-2019, 09:49 PM
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You can do a meditation where you focus on dissolving your negative emotions. Sit or lie down and imagine a healing energy/light entering your body and going to the place where you're hurting, dissolving the pain. You might find it hard to concentrate in the beginning but keep practicing to awaken your inner healing ability. It's a practice I've just started to incorporate in my daily routine.
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 04-26-2019, 05:08 AM
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I just act like that its not giving me any pain.
but inner me id dying man...
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 04-26-2019, 05:12 AM
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Well, I guess it really depends on what it was. Some things are not forgivable and some things are. If it's forgivable, I usually just naturally let go of it in time. Unless they continue to just do more of the same. Eventually, I won't try to forgive them anymore if that happens.

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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 09:45 PM
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True story: I had the worst experience of my life when I was a teenager from my best friend who abandoned me in the middle of our hiking trip. My boyfriend was cheating on me with her too. It was terrible. But, what really helped me are Leo birthstones as I am a Leo. Peridot made me feel joyous and satisfied that I forgave both of them. It cleansed the mad juju from me mind and made me pure again!
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 12:13 PM
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Forgiveness has no space in life.

No, I don't speak English and that is a secret of my happiness!
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 01:02 PM
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forgiveness is more of a social instrument imo. you let people know you dont hate the person. an agreement to not seek revenge.

it's not like you forgive someone and your feelings magically stop or change. in that regard forgetting is a pretty good thing.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 10:11 PM
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How do you learn to forgive and be content with what someone hurtfully did to you in the past?
Hi SunFlower2011, I don't know if you have story to tell but I forgive others by not pondering about it anymore. I don't think about it anymore and I let go. Sometimes people don't give you reasons or tell you anything then I just don't think about it anymore and let go and consider it that the person is just not for me. Why did you ask this question? perhaps I can help you.
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 10:12 PM
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Oh this thread is almost 4 months old.
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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-18-2019, 10:09 PM
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Also talking about it to a truly trusted relevant person can (depending on what it is) help to heal the hurt, that you actually made a 'outward' expression of it instead of not letting it out and then you have inner turmoil/toxins that have not been let out which can actually create illness/dis-ease like social anxiety, ptsd etc.
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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-24-2019, 10:45 AM
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I don't forgive, I forget.
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-24-2019, 11:30 AM
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Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
Well, I guess it really depends on what it was. Some things are not forgivable and some things are. If it's forgivable, I usually just naturally let go of it in time. Unless they continue to just do more of the same. Eventually, I won't try to forgive them anymore if that happens.
That's pretty much my stance.

I most certainly would not forget the wrong, but if it's something that does hurt and alters my view of them then it can be used in a subtle way (ex; keeping distance, talking minimally, etc.) If having to confront it then the best thing would probably be not to yell at them, especially in settings where it's considered inappropriate...not that I would know...
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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-04-2019, 09:29 AM
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I can forgive if the person hurt me despite good intentions and also if they were a different person in the past and have since changed their ways.
It also helps if they apologised and made it up to you in some way.


But if there were bad intentions and they won't change then in my opinion you should not forgive or forget. I put my barriers up so they can't get close again and if the opportunity comes, exact revenge but in a righteous way.
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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 08-04-2019, 09:34 AM
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It's easier to forgive if something was in the past and isn't still happening. If it still is, I guess the best thing to do is separate yourself from that person or whatever it is they're doing, if possible.

I tend not to make my annoyances public (such as I don't tell the person or others about it) so generally I just forgive them mentally and just try to forget about it if it's someone that I don't interact with anymore. But I do try to learn from it and avoid the situation or whatever in the future, so it doesn't happen again.

I think forgiveness is important because if you don't forgive, then the pent up anger or stress causes more harm. :/

Underneath the cold November sky, I wait for you... As the pages of my life roll by, I wait for you... I'm so desperate just to see your face, meet me in this broken place...

Be a little brave for a little bit of time.
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