This is probably not the last time I am going to let this out...but here goes.
I need to let this out somehow because everyone else who I complain to in real life just basically tell me to suck it up and deal with it... (be a man)
I am the last of my family. Doctor.
As the last child , and the last to sort-of leave the house I am stuck with the wonderful task of caring for my aging parents.
My mom has Parkinsons with Dementia. She is still able to do a lot for herself, but the symptoms are rapidly worsening. She is however, stubborn and still believe she can do everything herself, refuses to use a walking stick despite her unsteady gait, refuses to have a helper, refuses to move to the downstairs apartment of the house (so that she won't have to climb stairs).
And you know what ? Non of my older siblings have backed me up on any of these suggestions either. They are stuck in the belief that as long as Vincymon is available "everything is alright"
You see....thanks to my SA, I don't have many friends, so my older siblings take this to mean that every ounce of my free time should be available to care for mum, and if I don't then I'm being selfish.
I keep trying to tell them, that eventually I will have so many patients that I will not be available, ...but they refuse to take up my suggestions.
Even when I explain to them that her symptoms are getting worse and she needs someone else to stay in the house with her...they refuse to acknowledge it ...and I am the doctor !!
I'm not purposefully trying to pull rank..but I mean..they ask my for expert advice...and yet when I give it...they still want to maintain the status quo.
I have had so many close calls, catching her falls, and preventing her from wondering off...only bcuz I have the free time.
Everytime I spend more than 24hrs away from my parents' house ...one of them starts calling me !
Whenever I complain that we need a housekeeper ...they turn the conversation around to make it look like I am being selfish and ungrateful to my mother !!!
I don't understand how if I am the one that pulls her up each morning, and puts her to bed each night...how am I the lazy one !
I always get the same thing...I am not married yet, I don't have kids yet.... ( another way of saying, all of my freetime should be spent in caregiving bcuz to them I don't have a personal life)
But Vincymon does have a personal life. It's not a very big personal life, but it matters to me. I have a fiancee.
And I would like to be able to spend time with my wife-to-be without constantly checking my phone to see if Mom has had an accident.
I thought that after getting engaged they would realize that I am serious about moving on with my personal life...but no...they still act like she is just a girlfriend, that I should be able to push aside to care for mum at a moments notice, everyday.
Everytime I am not in the house, and mum has an accident...I always get the "if only Vincymon were there" speech. AND I am like, IF ONLY YOU AGREED TO GET A HOUSEKEEPER !!!!.
Recently my mum started wandering off. I tried again to talk to my older siblings about the need for better security, or a housekeeper....but its the same response "It's not so bad"...."She didn't get that far"
It's like they are literally waiting for the worst case scenario to finally admit that we need outside help.