I have a dad and a brother. I dont talk to the brother at all. I text my dad sometimes and he calls me sometimes, probably every 2 months or so. nothing in person.
What happened between you and your brother?
My mother really is the only one who makes a drastic effort to stay in my life and constantly keep in touch with me. Unfortunately of all people, she is the one person I really wish to cut off contact with. Her narcissistic personality is toxic. Her emotional and verbal abuse is constant. All of her interactions with me makes me miserable. She keeps giving me chronic problems in waves. Majority of my chronic stress and worries are due to her.
I can relate to this entirely... my mother calls me constantly (she is blocked on my phone and leaves tons of voicemails I never listen to), but she's been a terrible influence in every memory I have. Whether it's abusing small animals, screaming at and degrading me, insulting my father (who fully financially supported her and her mother), constantly making me cry, and the 20+ years of emotional incest, among many other things. I've truly had enough of her for a lifetime. I could forgive and have a relationship with her if she has changed, but she has not. Still as self-centered, childish, delusional, and narcissistic as ever.
When my parents are gone I will have nobody I can turn to. -_- This is especially difficult because I'm not capable of living independently...so things don't look very good.
This pandemic has made me realize even more painfully how completely alone I will be if/when things go wrong.
I hope your parents have long healthy lives. How are you preparing for the eventuality that they pass? Do they own your home so that it may be given to you?
f-ck, i'm sorry. i feel so much of this at a base level. i'm not in it but i see that void on the horizon.
Thanks, it might just be getting older and feeling all the mortality that I didn't before. When I was young I didn't think I needed anyone because I never had anyone. But being young and alone is an adventure... being old and alone is just sad.
Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave
I have my mother, my father and my sister and that's pretty much it. I have a few cousins (a couple of whom I was close to ages ago). Most of them I have hardly ever seen and don't seem like family at all. My sister and I were together all the time growing up but our relationship was kind of antagonistic and not really so great. My mother favored my sister and reacted much more strongly (in a bad way) to any trouble I caused than she ever did to anything my sister did. I resented that (though I know it wasn't my sister's fault, it's just hard not to feel bad stuff when I'm around her). To top all that off, my mother is constantly comparing me to my sister whenever she's shaming me for whatever she thinks I should be doing with myself that I'm not. So I have not even had a chance to put distance between the bad old days and the bad new days and try to think about my sister in an objective way. It's just all tainted by my mother's rotten personality and psychology.
And also, my sister has her own family now with her husband and her kids and that completely consumes her (as it should) so I have not seen much of her for many years. My mom and dad are both on the brink of death and then I'll be completely screwed. So yeah.
I saw your blog post about your dad. I hope he's doing better.
I have my mother, 1 sister, 1 half sister & 2 half brothers (different father) I'm fairly close too, 3 cousins I talk to occasionally, there's lots more extended family around that I rarely or never see or talk too, some I've never even met.
My full sister is kinda bonkers, I get on better with my half siblings tbh
I wish I had long lost half-siblings sometimes. It's a kind of fantasy of finding a soulmate of sorts. Sometimes I also wonder if my life would have been better had I been adopted, and never met my real crazy and abusive parents. I could always have comforting fantasies of how great my real family is instead of the cold reality. On their side, they should have given me up for adoption - they were in no way capable of raising a second child.
It's all really babyish. I'm old enough to be fine on my own and not need anyone, and yet I am regressing anyway.