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-   -   Dad taking anger out on me (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f265/dad-taking-anger-out-on-me-2229185/)

Disneywoman 11-28-2019 12:21 PM

Dad taking anger out on me
 
My program had a potluck today I always take a cake with. Since it's difficult to take a cake on the bus I rely on my RETIRED Dad to drive me to my pot-luck days. He did this morning. This afternoon I had 2 and half slices left of the cake. I got the cake on the bus and back to (town) and then as far as the grocery store before calling Dad since my arms were going to give out. He took his anger out on me about something which had nothing to do with me. 1)I should have tossed the 2 and a half slices of cake into the garbage instead of hulling it home 2)he drove my *** to the program this morning and 3)he will never drive me anywhere again including bowling OR program (the only other way I could take a cake to the program is if I had a bundle buggy that way I wouldn't have to be carrying it in my hands) and he wasn't going to haul my *** (along with Mom) to the church tonight 4)I don't do anything all day.. but sit on my ***. um I have more of life then he does.. and he sits on his *** if he has nothing else to do. When I was pointing out he was being nasty to be right in the moment without me having done ANYTHING he said "I BEEN NASTY SINCE THE DAY I WAS BORN"


When I tried to talk to Mom she didn't really want to hear it. Because she wanted to snooze before we had to eat. She said I was taking it out on her I wasn't I needed someone to LISTEN. But she wasn't in the mood to listen.

Disneywoman 11-28-2019 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mondo_Fernando (Post 1093844173)
@Disneywoman

Sounds more līke frustration.

Have to see it from his perspective.

He probably works and sounds like is stressed out over paying for everything or doing things for others too much.

Best thing you can do is realise what is going on and help him.

Do something nice for him for once and thank him for his time in taking you places.

Don't make it all about you.



1) It can't be work because if he was working he wouldn't be available to 1)do my hair in the mornings or 2)drive my behind over to my day program on pot-luck days or the annual Christmas social. 2)Like I said in the other person's thread about living with a RETIRED parent - he been retired since 2013. 3)he wants to take me to a gun club he just joined in the winter but yet he has some kind of problem with it.

So he was taking anger about THAT onto anger he has about ME onto ME. I mean it really hurt my feeling and I did NOTHING wrong today to deserve him taking that anger out on me. He just lashed out and he hates it when I take my anger out on HIM.

Disneywoman 11-28-2019 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mondo_Fernando (Post 1093844191)
Never saw the other thread, so didn't know he was retired. More like reading inbetween the lines based on similar scenario's and applying to this scenario.

What have you done for him lately?

Try doing something for him and see what happens.

Say at least thank you for taking you places, etc and give him a hug.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

I DONE NOTHING wrong today..so Dad shouldn't have taken his anger that had NOTHING to do with me OUT ON me.

and I HAVE said thank you.. I EVEN said it THIS morning.

It's like your victim blaming. I mean why should I say thank you when Dad treated me likeS.H.I.Tin the car when I was trying to bring leftover cake home?

Disneywoman 11-28-2019 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mondo_Fernando (Post 1093844219)
Ok.



Ok, you tried.

Apart from that, keeping distance. It is all you can do.



Just saying don't stoop to that level of behaviour.

You are better than that.

You aren't even LISTENING to anything i'm saying.


Dad's angry about something to do about gun club he joined. (something about less money). He didn't learn about the less money thing until today (after he dropped me off at my program). I had a fine day until Dad collected me from the grocery store (my arm was falling off from carrying 2 and 1/2 slices of cake home ) As soon as I got in the car he was like "YOU SHOULD HAVE TOSSED IT IN THE GARBAGE" or "YOU BEEN NASTY SINCE YOU WERE BORN" or "YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING BUT SIT ON YOUR BEHIND ALL DAY" or 'I'M NEVER DRIVING YOU ANYPLACE (INCLUDING BOWLING) AGAIN"


I literally DID NOT DO ANYTHING to have been treated like goddam crap in the ****ing car and Dad treat me like he wants me to move out of the house ASAP.

Disneywoman 11-28-2019 07:37 PM

I'm going to explain this for the LAST time. What dad's problem is has NOTHING to do with cost of driving when he's constantly driving me to Ajax, or to bowling on Monday nights. Once a BLOODY week he goes into TORONTO to have a LUNCH with a friend of his. And constantly ONCE a week he goes up NORTH to hurt with a DIFFERENT friend of his.

Dad's problem:

Dad is part of a gun club somewhere in Toronto (he just joined this year). He isn't in the habit of checking junk mail so today sometime AFTER he dropped me off he discovered that he could get a lower membership ($5 less then whatever he has currently) at the same club and the deadline for that is this Saturday. He was ticked off about THAT. And when he collected me from the grocery store he started saying all that NASTY stuff after asking me why I brought 2 and a half slices back to (town). "IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOSSED IN THE GARBAGE" (waste of good cake) " Nasty? YOU BEEN NASTY SINCE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN" (all I said before he said that and I was in tears "you're being really nasty at the moment") and his 'ALL YOU DO IS SIT ON YOUR BEHIND ALL DAY" (Doesn't he do excatly the same thing?) "I WILL NEVER DRIVE YOU ANYWHERE AGAIN AND THAT INCLUDES BOWLING". Can you imagine how HURT I must have felt having to listen to that CRAP in the car when I did NOTHING to deserve it?


I would have been better of having my ****ING arms dropped off by carrying the cake ALL the WAY home instead of listening to that S.H.I.T. in the ****ing CAR.


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