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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 04:22 AM Thread Starter
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About depression


So, for the ones who don't know I got heavy depression. But, I heard from my mother her opinion about depression and things related to it. I didn't ask for it really, it was because my own father years ago had depression as well but for other reasons, but she suddenly came up with it.

Aside from her opinion, I earlier expected her to be ignorant over it, and diminish it. Turns out, it was way worse than my own expectations. She told me that people with depression are simply seeking attention, and they do not deserve to live. Because, for the reason she gave, people with depression are only a burden to everyone around them. She also mentioned that people who have depression are the lowest of the lowest regarding lifeforms. So, rewinding from what she said, her conclusion is that it's better for people with depression rather die.

Well, my day, possibly week, is ruined now by this.

"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."

"When everything starts falling apart, when even your own body is turning against you because it no longer wants to continue living, you start to think about whether it's still worth it or not."
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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 04:30 AM
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I had over 10 years of that attitude from my own mother, father, brothers, people at school when I was there, strangers even. You get used to it.

Wilfred Mott: Oh, Doctor... what about you now? Who've you got? I mean... all those friends of yours...

The Doctor: They've all got someone else. Still, that's fine. I'm fine.
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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 04:38 AM Thread Starter
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I had over 10 years of that attitude from my own mother, father, brothers, people at school when I was there, strangers even. You get used to it.
Well, after all her wish will come true later on.

"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."

"When everything starts falling apart, when even your own body is turning against you because it no longer wants to continue living, you start to think about whether it's still worth it or not."
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 05:08 AM
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Dude no offence but from reading your posts, your mother sounds like a horrible witch. Ignore her and her stupid opinion, people can be pieces of **** by believing twisted messed up opinions but you dont have to let it get to you
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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 05:20 AM Thread Starter
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Dude no offence but from reading your posts, your mother sounds like a horrible witch. Ignore her and her stupid opinion, people can be pieces of **** by believing twisted messed up opinions but you dont have to let it get to you
No offence taken, I think the same way about her. Not the same words, but the same direction. But it's probably not just her, I'll give an example of how it would even affect my entire family. Say: she would discover I got depression. Knowing that, and I will tell her that it's partly her fault, she will rally support at the family and turn them against me.

But, won't really matter over half a year from now since I will be gone anyways. Which also is her wish apparently, for depressed people to just die, but I don't care really.

By the way, nice profile picture.

"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."

"When everything starts falling apart, when even your own body is turning against you because it no longer wants to continue living, you start to think about whether it's still worth it or not."
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 05:30 AM
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No offence taken, I think the same way about her. Not the same words, but the same direction. But it's probably not just her, I'll give an example of how it would even affect my entire family. Say: she would discover I got depression. Knowing that, and I will tell her that it's partly her fault, she will rally support at the family and turn them against me.

But, won't really matter over half a year from now since I will be gone anyways. Which also is her wish apparently, for depressed people to just die, but I don't care really.

By the way, nice profile picture.
Well forget them, you were just born in a bad family, some day you will be living on your own and hopefully with friends and a girlfriend etc and you will be surrounded with lovely people, but for now you should stay strong. Things change, things improve, once you live on your own there is nothing they can do to you to ruin your life. And then you can start building your own life, a whole new life. Trust me my life is a mess too and im super depressed and my parents have been extremely strict and controlling but we need to stay strong cause things can get better. Learn to not let problems affect you emotionaly, learn to never worry about anything no matter what, make your mind into a place of peace and happiness. Your mind is your own universe so make it into a place that you are safe in.

And focus on doing what you can to improve your life. Dont give up, anything can happen, trust me i've been depressed out of my mind and i've felt suicidal countless times but then later i always had times where i felt good and really happy and i loved life and i wondered what all the suffering was about. My point is that things change and anything can happen, so as long as there is even a small amount of hope of achieving your dreams, although there is probably a lot of hope if you really try, then you should never give up no matter what. For your sake and for the sake of any people you might meet in the future. Stay strong and keep holding on and decide that your happiness and emotions will not be affected by any of your problems. And hopefully things will change. Good luck, hope this helped!

Thanks, yours is cool too, is that like Masterchief from Halo or something?
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 05:50 AM Thread Starter
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Well forget them, you were just born in a bad family, some day you will be living on your own and hopefully with friends and a girlfriend etc and you will be surrounded with lovely people, but for now you should stay strong. Things change, things improve, once you live on your own there is nothing they can do to you to ruin your life. And then you can start building your own life, a whole new life. Trust me my life is a mess too and im super depressed and my parents have been extremely strict and controlling but we need to stay strong cause things can get better. Learn to not let problems affect you emotionaly, learn to never worry about anything no matter what, make your mind into a place of peace and happiness. Your mind is your own universe so make it into a place that you are safe in.

And focus on doing what you can to improve your life. Dont give up, anything can happen, trust me i've been depressed out of my mind and i've felt suicidal countless times but then later i always had times where i felt good and really happy and i loved life and i wondered what all the suffering was about. My point is that things change and anything can happen, so as long as there is even a small amount of hope of achieving your dreams, although there is probably a lot of hope if you really try, then you should never give up no matter what. For your sake and for the sake of any people you might meet in the future. Stay strong and keep holding on and decide that your happiness and emotions will not be affected by any of your problems. And hopefully things will change. Good luck, hope this helped!

Thanks, yours is cool too, is that like Masterchief from Halo or something?
That's a really hopeful way of thinking, but unfortunately that day will never come. Not for me at least. But that's fine because I won't be waiting till I die over 80 years or so, in just pain. I'll take my fate in my own hands and end it sooner, way sooner.

Good to hear that it turns out better for you than for me. But, even if I'd follow everything you tell me now, and my family does find out (or even my mother alone is already enough), no one will talk to me, I become even more invisible than I am right now. Then, life will be more dark than hell itself, and I will not be waiting for that to happen. But thank you for giving advice though.

And that's not Master Chief, but just another Spartan. A wounded one.

EDIT: Sorry for denying help (if that's the correct word for it) from you.

"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."

"When everything starts falling apart, when even your own body is turning against you because it no longer wants to continue living, you start to think about whether it's still worth it or not."
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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 05:40 PM
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That's a really hopeful way of thinking, but unfortunately that day will never come. Not for me at least. But that's fine because I won't be waiting till I die over 80 years or so, in just pain. I'll take my fate in my own hands and end it sooner, way sooner.

Good to hear that it turns out better for you than for me. But, even if I'd follow everything you tell me now, and my family does find out (or even my mother alone is already enough), no one will talk to me, I become even more invisible than I am right now. Then, life will be more dark than hell itself, and I will not be waiting for that to happen. But thank you for giving advice though.

And that's not Master Chief, but just another Spartan. A wounded one.

EDIT: Sorry for denying help (if that's the correct word for it) from you.
Trust me it can happen, anything can happen. You never know what your future holds. Just stay strong and stay alive, trust me i am unhappy with my life a lot of times too, i have never really had any in real life friends and i spent all my life wasted in a house angry etc. But i can tell you that things do change, and often for the better. Especially if you change your mindxet to become more positive and if you learn to not let problems affect you emotionally. I have learned to not let problems affect me emotionally and now i am happy most of the time. I used to beat myself up literally out of rage snd cut myself and i sort of tried to end it once. But thigs change. You never know what your future holds, especially if you try to change your mindset and your life, and who knows maybe there is some kind of divine plan for all of us or something.

Trust me my life isnt that good, yestrday i cried my eyes out at my life and how different i am even to socially anxious people. But now im feeling happy cause i am positive, you can be the same too. Never give up as long as there is hope. Dont worry about what people think of you, just find people like you. I am invisible too, i spent all my life stuck in a house arguing with my parents, im diferent to my family and often argue with my parents, etc. But i have met the most amazing people online who were so similar to me, and it is proof that people like me are out there. Would you believe it i literally met a girl almost exactly my type on this website, and i previously thought i was too different to anyone. There are people like you out there. Theres hope. Never give up until you find the hope, but be strong and ready to encure any hardships without letting it affect you emotionally. Learn to be kind if stoic in a sense. Life can be dark, believe me to me this whole world disgusts me and even this whole forum feels like a dark place full of aliens, but there are people who are similar to you out there, people of your type or tribe. They are worh living for, they are worh finding, arent they?

Ahh i see. It's a neat profile pic.

Oh dont worry about it i often deny peoples help if i feel that it doesnt help me or that they dont know what i am talking about, but honestly i am telling you that there is hope and there is a reason to live.
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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 05:49 PM
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that's why unbiased professional help would probably be best for depression. I don't usually go to my family for this kind of stuff.
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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-16-2018, 05:53 PM
 
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I'm really sad to hear that you're suffering and can't find support. I may not know you but I think you matter and I want you to find joy.
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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-17-2018, 12:25 AM Thread Starter
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Trust me it can happen, anything can happen. You never know what your future holds. Just stay strong and stay alive, trust me i am unhappy with my life a lot of times too, i have never really had any in real life friends and i spent all my life wasted in a house angry etc. But i can tell you that things do change, and often for the better. Especially if you change your mindxet to become more positive and if you learn to not let problems affect you emotionally. I have learned to not let problems affect me emotionally and now i am happy most of the time. I used to beat myself up literally out of rage snd cut myself and i sort of tried to end it once. But thigs change. You never know what your future holds, especially if you try to change your mindset and your life, and who knows maybe there is some kind of divine plan for all of us or something.

Trust me my life isnt that good, yestrday i cried my eyes out at my life and how different i am even to socially anxious people. But now im feeling happy cause i am positive, you can be the same too. Never give up as long as there is hope. Dont worry about what people think of you, just find people like you. I am invisible too, i spent all my life stuck in a house arguing with my parents, im diferent to my family and often argue with my parents, etc. But i have met the most amazing people online who were so similar to me, and it is proof that people like me are out there. Would you believe it i literally met a girl almost exactly my type on this website, and i previously thought i was too different to anyone. There are people like you out there. Theres hope. Never give up until you find the hope, but be strong and ready to encure any hardships without letting it affect you emotionally. Learn to be kind if stoic in a sense. Life can be dark, believe me to me this whole world disgusts me and even this whole forum feels like a dark place full of aliens, but there are people who are similar to you out there, people of your type or tribe. They are worh living for, they are worh finding, arent they?

Ahh i see. It's a neat profile pic.

Oh dont worry about it i often deny peoples help if i feel that it doesnt help me or that they dont know what i am talking about, but honestly i am telling you that there is hope and there is a reason to live.
I've held that mindset for over a year, and still nothing happened. In fact, it only got worse, so why would it change to any better sooner or later? And, everytime I hear the same things over and over again. I'll take a very clear (but sometimes a triggering subject to other people) example: All of the girls/women I met here on SAS, they all tell me that I will find a girl that likes me. Heard over a few hundred times right now, and it has never happened before. Only thing I see is that every girl I will meet will say this, without any girl actually liking me at all. Risky example, but it's a clear one. Or when I'm travelling to school by bus and tram, it just feels like you're from another world because of how ugly I am. Some people looking at me, wondering if I'm a harmful monster or not.

It can be better than this, but it won't get any better. As I said, it has only gotten worse over the year, so why wouldn't it get worse right now? So, before that happens, I'll just take my exit.

"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."

"When everything starts falling apart, when even your own body is turning against you because it no longer wants to continue living, you start to think about whether it's still worth it or not."
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-17-2018, 12:27 AM Thread Starter
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that's why unbiased professional help would probably be best for depression. I don't usually go to my family for this kind of stuff.
I got professional help, but my mother (not sure if I said that in the original post) doesn't know about it. She knows I got a therapist, but not for depression.

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I'm really sad to hear that you're suffering and can't find support. I may not know you but I think you matter and I want you to find joy.
I got support, if SAS didn't exist I wouldn't be alive today. Sadly, I will still be gone over half a year. But thank you for your support.

"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."

"When everything starts falling apart, when even your own body is turning against you because it no longer wants to continue living, you start to think about whether it's still worth it or not."
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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-17-2018, 12:58 AM
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I've held that mindset for over a year, and still nothing happened. In fact, it only got worse, so why would it change to any better sooner or later? And, everytime I hear the same things over and over again. I'll take a very clear (but sometimes a triggering subject to other people) example: All of the girls/women I met here on SAS, they all tell me that I will find a girl that likes me. Heard over a few hundred times right now, and it has never happened before. Only thing I see is that every girl I will meet will say this, without any girl actually liking me at all. Risky example, but it's a clear one. Or when I'm travelling to school by bus and tram, it just feels like you're from another world because of how ugly I am. Some people looking at me, wondering if I'm a harmful monster or not.

It can be better than this, but it won't get any better. As I said, it has only gotten worse over the year, so why wouldn't it get worse right now? So, before that happens, I'll just take my exit.
Dont worry things can change, for years i hoped for things to change but they didnt and now they are changing. Things change. It will get better cause you will get to move out and live on your own. Dont worry about it, i dont even like most of the women(and men) on SAS, just cause no girl here liked you so far doesnt mean it cant happen. I met a girl here who was my type and she said i was her type and trust me i havent found anyone anywhere near as similar to me, my point is most people are different but maybe some day you will find that one right person who will change your whole world.

Never give up until you do, stay strong and find something to do with your life until that happens. Because what if you are destined to meet a girl like you and friends like you? Ending everything would not only ruin your chances of living a good life, but it might also mean that those people in your future will miss out on you. And you're not alone, im in a similar situation trust me, i am staying alive in case i meet some wonderful people in my future. You should too! Who cares about peopels opinions, in general people suck and people are horrible, the right people who are people like you will want to get to know you and they will want you for who you are on the inside. Many girls overlook people's appearances because physical appearance dowsnt matter, only personality does. There is always chance of finding them!

It can get better, trust me things change, i've had ups and downs and times where my life was going nowhere and then all of a sudden things would become very good. You just need to be strong and endure the hardships of life without letting them affect you emotionally, and focus on living life as best as you can until things get better. And they can get better, you have over half a century of life ahead of you so anything can happen! Anything! Dont give up, trust me i felt that way a lot but i didnt give up and now here i am, i have learned to not let any problems affect me emotionally and i have so much potential and i have a whole life ahead of me and i am happy and hopeful. You can be too!

Learn to be positive, learn to make your mind into a place of peace, your own universe of happiness and freedom. And that way problems wont affect your happiness. Once you can think without all these confusing, intense negative emotions, you can start to relax and live happily/peacefully and you can start focusing on trying to get to where you want to be in life. And try to cherish all the good things in life and think about any other people who have it worse than you, that will make you see from the bigger picture that your problems aren't so bad. I dont mean to say your problems are small, but i mean that our emotions often make us feel like problems are the end of the world when they really arent.

Countless times i have felt suicidal etc, oh man all my life i have been so frustrated about so many countless problems. But nowadays i look from the bigger picture, that as big as my problems are, they are just problems. They are the cards i was dealt with and i have to accept them, and im happy for the people who have it better than me. Trust me i used to be super jealous of people. And my problems are big but they dont need to affect my happiness, they dont need to affect me emotionally, there is no point in feeling bad sbout anything, why feel bad? Maybe try having this mindset. Relax and enjoy life and realize that problems are just problems. We just have to deal with them and not let them affect us.

Learn to have peace and happiness and freedom of your mind despite having problems, your problems dont need to affect those things, why should they? Why should we worry about any of our problems ever? Why should we let our problems consume our happiness, instead of just realizing that they are just problems? Thats what i finally learned after 19 years of a very sheltered, boring, frustrating life, hope this helped lol. Enjoy the journey of life and relax and be happy, do what you need to do to improve things, and see how things go
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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-17-2018, 01:34 AM Thread Starter
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Dont worry things can change, for years i hoped for things to change but they didnt and now they are changing. Things change. It will get better cause you will get to move out and live on your own. Dont worry about it, i dont even like most of the women(and men) on SAS, just cause no girl here liked you so far doesnt mean it cant happen. I met a girl here who was my type and she said i was her type and trust me i havent found anyone anywhere near as similar to me, my point is most people are different but maybe some day you will find that one right person who will change your whole world.

Never give up until you do, stay strong and find something to do with your life until that happens. Because what if you are destined to meet a girl like you and friends like you? Ending everything would not only ruin your chances of living a good life, but it might also mean that those people in your future will miss out on you. And you're not alone, im in a similar situation trust me, i am staying alive in case i meet some wonderful people in my future. You should too! Who cares about peopels opinions, in general people suck and people are horrible, the right people who are people like you will want to get to know you and they will want you for who you are on the inside. Many girls overlook people's appearances because physical appearance dowsnt matter, only personality does. There is always chance of finding them!

It can get better, trust me things change, i've had ups and downs and times where my life was going nowhere and then all of a sudden things would become very good. You just need to be strong and endure the hardships of life without letting them affect you emotionally, and focus on living life as best as you can until things get better. And they can get better, you have over half a century of life ahead of you so anything can happen! Anything! Dont give up, trust me i felt that way a lot but i didnt give up and now here i am, i have learned to not let any problems affect me emotionally and i have so much potential and i have a whole life ahead of me and i am happy and hopeful. You can be too!

Learn to be positive, learn to make your mind into a place of peace, your own universe of happiness and freedom. And that way problems wont affect your happiness. Once you can think without all these confusing, intense negative emotions, you can start to relax and live happily/peacefully and you can start focusing on trying to get to where you want to be in life. And try to cherish all the good things in life and think about any other people who have it worse than you, that will make you see from the bigger picture that your problems aren't so bad. I dont mean to say your problems are small, but i mean that our emotions often make us feel like problems are the end of the world when they really arent.

Countless times i have felt suicidal etc, oh man all my life i have been so frustrated about so many countless problems. But nowadays i look from the bigger picture, that as big as my problems are, they are just problems. They are the cards i was dealt with and i have to accept them, and im happy for the people who have it better than me. Trust me i used to be super jealous of people. And my problems are big but they dont need to affect my happiness, they dont need to affect me emotionally, there is no point in feeling bad sbout anything, why feel bad? Maybe try having this mindset. Relax and enjoy life and realize that problems are just problems. We just have to deal with them and not let them affect us.

Learn to have peace and happiness and freedom of your mind despite having problems, your problems dont need to affect those things, why should they? Why should we worry about any of our problems ever? Why should we let our problems consume our happiness, instead of just realizing that they are just problems? Thats what i finally learned after 19 years of a very sheltered, boring, frustrating life, hope this helped lol. Enjoy the journey of life and relax and be happy, do what you need to do to improve things, and see how things go
I won't get to move out. When I go to work, which is in the summer of 2019, I'm required to support my mother with the money I earn, and pay my brother's study. And trust me, studying is not a cheap business. So I will have too few of money left to even do anything with it. By the time my brother has completed his study it will be 2026. I will not be waiting that long to finally move out, without having the chance to make friends anywhere. And, it's a nice thought, but sadly for me that has never happened nor will it ever happen.

As I said I'll just have to wait till early 2019, then I'll take my exit out of this world. Or better said, out of my house. And to be honest, who wants to be friends with me outside of SAS? I mean come on, I look like a monster, I'm not interesting. People have can get more out of a stone than out of me.

I've only had downs so far, and that still continues. I just want to get out of my own situation before it gets even worse. Practically speaking, I'm saving myself from an even more horrible life that is closing in.

"Think positive." Heard that a few thousand times now. Not only from you, or even here from SAS. But if I would be able to think positive, I would've done so. But I can't for any reason. And I rather die than live my life inside of a prison for years to come.

It's very hard to not get affected by your problems if you got nothing good happening in your entire life. Everything I do always ends up in something bad, be it a test for school or a small talk with a stranger. And I got nothing to enjoy, everything I do is a task for me. Waking up, getting out of bed, going to school etc. I can handle much, but I got my limits.

Only thing I can do to 'improve' things is to end it. Not really improving, but I see it more as a change.

"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."

"When everything starts falling apart, when even your own body is turning against you because it no longer wants to continue living, you start to think about whether it's still worth it or not."
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-17-2018, 02:02 AM
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I won't get to move out. When I go to work, which is in the summer of 2019, I'm required to support my mother with the money I earn, and pay my brother's study. And trust me, studying is not a cheap business. So I will have too few of money left to even do anything with it. By the time my brother has completed his study it will be 2026. I will not be waiting that long to finally move out, without having the chance to make friends anywhere. And, it's a nice thought, but sadly for me that has never happened nor will it ever happen.

As I said I'll just have to wait till early 2019, then I'll take my exit out of this world. Or better said, out of my house. And to be honest, who wants to be friends with me outside of SAS? I mean come on, I look like a monster, I'm not interesting. People have can get more out of a stone than out of me.

I've only had downs so far, and that still continues. I just want to get out of my own situation before it gets even worse. Practically speaking, I'm saving myself from an even more horrible life that is closing in.

"Think positive." Heard that a few thousand times now. Not only from you, or even here from SAS. But if I would be able to think positive, I would've done so. But I can't for any reason. And I rather die than live my life inside of a prison for years to come.

It's very hard to not get affected by your problems if you got nothing good happening in your entire life. Everything I do always ends up in something bad, be it a test for school or a small talk with a stranger. And I got nothing to enjoy, everything I do is a task for me. Waking up, getting out of bed, going to school etc. I can handle much, but I got my limits.

Only thing I can do to 'improve' things is to end it. Not really improving, but I see it more as a change.
why? Ditch those *******s. If i had a family that abused me so mcuh like that, i would completely disown them and i would view them as enemies. If they were dangling from a cliff and the emergency sevices were 5 mins away i wouldnt do ****. Dont bend over backwards for people who are bad, scree them, forget them. Just act nice etc and suck away their money and food and stuff until you can move out then cut them off. Seriously man they ruined your life and treated you like crap and now you are gonna support them? Even if they do have some good points then dont support them, you cant ruin your life just to help others. You deserve to have a good life of freedom and independance, you dont deserve to have to support those people who bullied you. What good did they do to you anyway? Just cause they had you and supported you doesnt mean that you owe them a debt, they are horrible people and they treated you badly and you deserve to live a life instead of being their slave, so cut them off as soon as you can and start a new life. Find a girlfriend and some friends and hobbies/passions, get promoted to have more money to travel and eat out etc, live life. Thats my advice.

You shouldnt kill yourself man. Anyone would want to be your friend, i'd want to be your friend, many people would want to. Ther is a big world out there full of akmost 8 billion people. You just need to find the right ones. But see thats what many people in this world are like, they want from you, they want to get things out of you, to the point of making you feel worthless. Dont let them. If you are as useless as a stone to someone then good, **** that person. Just find people who are good people and then you will have people to care about, quit trying to satisfy a bunch of selfish shallow scumbags who want to take things from you.

I'm sure you've had some good points, i mean you can walk and see etc, those are good points right? You may have it pretty bad but at least you arent crippled or blind. I find that cherishing the good things i have really helps me. No you have a good life ahead of you, a life of living on your own far away from anyone who treated you badly, a life of happiness and freedom and peace and excitement and adventure and wonderful people! You just need to try your best to make your life into a good life and you need to not let your emotions control you. Your emotions shouldnt affect you negatively.

Trust me i used to hate people who told me to think positively but its true. Why think negatively? We can still be aware of our problems at the same time of simply not letting them affect us emotionally. Trust me i have all the problems in the world, 19 wasted years, 4 mental disorders, bored all day every day etc, but im happy as can be(most of the time anyway). Its all about perspective and mindset. You wont have to live inside a prison. According to law, when you are 18 you can do whatever you want and no one can tell you what to do. So get a job, save up money, and then move out when you are 18 and try not to look back on your past. You arent anyones slave, you are your own boss, the god of your own world, you get to make your life into what you want it to be, not some evil losers that want to take everything away from you.

Yeah it is hard to not let problems affect us emotionally, it took me like a year to fully get the hang of it, but it is possible. Emotions are just emotions. Life is life, problems are problems, people are people, etc. It is how it is. So just relax and learn to let go of negative things, anything that makes you feel bad, let go of it. Learn to flow with life instead of worrying and stressing and trying to be in control of life, life is impossible to control, life is overwhelming and insane, we can only live one day at a time. There is plenty to enjoy, exploring and experiencing the world, searching for people like you, making friends and getting into a relationship/s, getting laid, alcohol(etc), hobbies, sports, thrill sports, travel, eating out, living on your own, living with others, etc. Who knows, maybe some day you'll have a family and you'll be taking them out to awesome places and stuff, you have many decades of life ahead of you! Things are mundane and boring now but they will change. Trust me my life is so boring too, i just browse sas all day most of the time. But things are changing, things change. You have to make your limits further then, countless times i felt like i was pushed past my limits and i almost gave up but i didnt and then i eventually adjusted to it and started feeling better about life. It makes you into a stronger person, it toughens you up.

No you can improve a lot. You can live on your own, you just need to go to work every day which is like school really, come back and do whatever you want and live independantly or hang out with any people you might have, etc. You can improve your limits and become a stronger person, etc. There is so much to improve in! you can live far away from your family, you can some day 20 years from now be waking up every day looking back on 15 years of marriage or something, anything can happen! Dont give up man!
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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-17-2018, 02:55 AM Thread Starter
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why? Ditch those *******s. If i had a family that abused me so mcuh like that, i would completely disown them and i would view them as enemies. If they were dangling from a cliff and the emergency sevices were 5 mins away i wouldnt do ****. Dont bend over backwards for people who are bad, scree them, forget them. Just act nice etc and suck away their money and food and stuff until you can move out then cut them off. Seriously man they ruined your life and treated you like crap and now you are gonna support them? Even if they do have some good points then dont support them, you cant ruin your life just to help others. You deserve to have a good life of freedom and independance, you dont deserve to have to support those people who bullied you. What good did they do to you anyway? Just cause they had you and supported you doesnt mean that you owe them a debt, they are horrible people and they treated you badly and you deserve to live a life instead of being their slave, so cut them off as soon as you can and start a new life. Find a girlfriend and some friends and hobbies/passions, get promoted to have more money to travel and eat out etc, live life. Thats my advice.

You shouldnt kill yourself man. Anyone would want to be your friend, i'd want to be your friend, many people would want to. Ther is a big world out there full of akmost 8 billion people. You just need to find the right ones. But see thats what many people in this world are like, they want from you, they want to get things out of you, to the point of making you feel worthless. Dont let them. If you are as useless as a stone to someone then good, **** that person. Just find people who are good people and then you will have people to care about, quit trying to satisfy a bunch of selfish shallow scumbags who want to take things from you.

I'm sure you've had some good points, i mean you can walk and see etc, those are good points right? You may have it pretty bad but at least you arent crippled or blind. I find that cherishing the good things i have really helps me. No you have a good life ahead of you, a life of living on your own far away from anyone who treated you badly, a life of happiness and freedom and peace and excitement and adventure and wonderful people! You just need to try your best to make your life into a good life and you need to not let your emotions control you. Your emotions shouldnt affect you negatively.

Trust me i used to hate people who told me to think positively but its true. Why think negatively? We can still be aware of our problems at the same time of simply not letting them affect us emotionally. Trust me i have all the problems in the world, 19 wasted years, 4 mental disorders, bored all day every day etc, but im happy as can be(most of the time anyway). Its all about perspective and mindset. You wont have to live inside a prison. According to law, when you are 18 you can do whatever you want and no one can tell you what to do. So get a job, save up money, and then move out when you are 18 and try not to look back on your past. You arent anyones slave, you are your own boss, the god of your own world, you get to make your life into what you want it to be, not some evil losers that want to take everything away from you.

Yeah it is hard to not let problems affect us emotionally, it took me like a year to fully get the hang of it, but it is possible. Emotions are just emotions. Life is life, problems are problems, people are people, etc. It is how it is. So just relax and learn to let go of negative things, anything that makes you feel bad, let go of it. Learn to flow with life instead of worrying and stressing and trying to be in control of life, life is impossible to control, life is overwhelming and insane, we can only live one day at a time. There is plenty to enjoy, exploring and experiencing the world, searching for people like you, making friends and getting into a relationship/s, getting laid, alcohol(etc), hobbies, sports, thrill sports, travel, eating out, living on your own, living with others, etc. Who knows, maybe some day you'll have a family and you'll be taking them out to awesome places and stuff, you have many decades of life ahead of you! Things are mundane and boring now but they will change. Trust me my life is so boring too, i just browse sas all day most of the time. But things are changing, things change. You have to make your limits further then, countless times i felt like i was pushed past my limits and i almost gave up but i didnt and then i eventually adjusted to it and started feeling better about life. It makes you into a stronger person, it toughens you up.

No you can improve a lot. You can live on your own, you just need to go to work every day which is like school really, come back and do whatever you want and live independantly or hang out with any people you might have, etc. You can improve your limits and become a stronger person, etc. There is so much to improve in! you can live far away from your family, you can some day 20 years from now be waking up every day looking back on 15 years of marriage or something, anything can happen! Dont give up man!
Trust me, I can easily cut them off. And especially my mother, it's rude to say but I don't care if she would get hit by a car for example. Well, only good they did is give me food, and a home. That's it I think, apart from presents during holidays and my birthday. And what if I was meant to work for them instead of living a 'normal' life?

I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for myself. I don't want to live a horrible life after I've finished my study, so it's just finish school then die. Simple as that, really. And that's my personality, I'm boring.

That life is not there for me. Maybe for you, but not for me. But I got peace with it, you can't have everything in life. And yes, I can walk and do everything a normal person can, but that's the whole point. I'm just like the rest, but nothing special.

Sorry, I'm not asnwering the rest of the message because a couple of reasons, where none of them are personally directed towards you at all. I'm mentally tired at the moment (have been since last Friday), I don't know how to properly answer your post because as I said, tired. And other things I just can't remember at the moment. So if you want I'll come back on it later, or it stays like this. Again, sorry for the inconvenience.

"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."

"When everything starts falling apart, when even your own body is turning against you because it no longer wants to continue living, you start to think about whether it's still worth it or not."
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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-17-2018, 02:59 AM
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For years my family also said all kind of mean things to me.
It's very difficult to make people understand your pain and suffering because they just don't believe in it.

"If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything."
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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-17-2018, 04:49 AM
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Trust me, I can easily cut them off. And especially my mother, it's rude to say but I don't care if she would get hit by a car for example. Well, only good they did is give me food, and a home. That's it I think, apart from presents during holidays and my birthday. And what if I was meant to work for them instead of living a 'normal' life?

I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for myself. I don't want to live a horrible life after I've finished my study, so it's just finish school then die. Simple as that, really. And that's my personality, I'm boring.

That life is not there for me. Maybe for you, but not for me. But I got peace with it, you can't have everything in life. And yes, I can walk and do everything a normal person can, but that's the whole point. I'm just like the rest, but nothing special.

Sorry, I'm not asnwering the rest of the message because a couple of reasons, where none of them are personally directed towards you at all. I'm mentally tired at the moment (have been since last Friday), I don't know how to properly answer your post because as I said, tired. And other things I just can't remember at the moment. So if you want I'll come back on it later, or it stays like this. Again, sorry for the inconvenience.
Well dont worry about what you are meant to do, just live your life and live a happy life, dont ruin your life in trying to please others especially if those other people are mean. And you're definately not meant to work for them or for anyone lol, seriously dude, just live your life. Dont bend backwards for people who are like that. You deserve a good life.

No i mean you shouldnt work to support them, who cares about them they are horrible people, just work to support yourself.

Haha trust me life isnt good for me either, i feel like theres no point of living too. But it is possible to stay alive still and to find hope and morivation. Well you are special, you are unique. I mean honestly no one is special, we will all be wormfood some day, but we might as well try to create as much meaning in our lives as possible.


Oh no worries, i get it, im often mentally tired too. I just recently cured 2 of my severe lifelong mental disorders so i am always mentally drained/exhausted lol. Dont worry about it, its all good, just relax and live life however you want it, theres nothing wrong with just trying to please ourselves here and there. You shouldnt bend backwards for people so much, especiallly if they are bad people, you cant be a slave to people. You are an independant individual with a life to live, dont let some confusing thoughts of confusing self identity problems control your life, just live however you feel like. Its good to be very selfless but we are only all human and we have our own lives to live. Haha no im sorry for the inconvennience.
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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-17-2018, 06:10 AM
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Dont let anyone tell you your life isnt worth living even if its your own mother. Your mom clearly is horribly mistaken and doesnt understand depression. She needs to seek help about to understand this. Plus dont forget that our parents generations ( most probably) and during their upbringing depression and anxiety was more of a closed conversation it wasnt out there enough for people to talk about and understand, they didnt have the internet etc.
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