Your Year In Review - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-01-2021, 04:30 AM
Narcissistic Rageaholic
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Cislandia
Gender: Transgender
Age: 48
Posts: 10,167
My Mood: Brooding
The Good? Um, idk, I guess having a therapist was nice.

The Bad? I spent most of the year convinced I have a fatal illness of one sort or another. Suicidal. Insomnia. Nightmares. Migraines. OCD. Fear of being homeless. Family drama. Two months of basement apocalypse. Career is in the toilet. Unrelenting anxiety that makes it impossible to relax. There isn't really any part of my life that works or gives me any satisfaction.

The Ugly? Me, obv.

Beauty isn't everything. It's the only thing.
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post #22 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-01-2021, 04:39 AM
Not like the other ducks
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Location: 8800 blue lick road
Language: Eng (UK,) 下手な日本語
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Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
I don't really know how he browses but whatever he is doing, he apparently ignores anything that is offered to him that is not what he wants.

I have tried sometimes logging into his youtube account and searching for and browsing and watching videos that would distract him from the other stuff but it doesn't seem to have any effect whatsoever. I have even added things to his favorites and watched them and liked them myself to try and make Youtube recommend him stuff that is healthier but if I go back into his history a couple weeks later, I can look back and see that absolutely nothing changed in his viewing and the last time any of those videos were watched was when I watched them.

Granted, I did not put an enormous amount of effort into this because I'm kind of an ADD type of person myself and really probably can't focus on the goal of doing that for long enough to make it work.

But yeah. That's one of the bad things about Youtube. I think some of these people have taken his mind in directions it wouldn't have gone if he'd have been watching cable TV instead. Some people can't handle unlimited choice (and I'm not really immune to that myself). He does get obsessed with things easily and he could have just as easily gotten obsessed with something else if he had encountered something else first. But once he locks in like that, there's not much you can do.

Ironically, that was why I didn't build him a PC instead. I thought youtube would kind of limit this kind of thing.

I even tried gradually unsubscribing him from some of the ones he didn't watch as often but I looked later and saw he'd put them back on there.
Yeah I watched a video a while ago can't remember what now might have been the one with the guy whose name I forget talking to the US government about social media and YouTube. But somebody pointed out how previously when everyone watched TV there were a lot more rules involved in what content would get displayed etc, and now there's less filtering and everyone just watches their own stuff which has various effects. There's also obviously no fact checking.

For some reason often if I watch one video by someone it will completely mess up my algorithm afterwards for a while and I'll get suggested that stuff repeatedly until I tell it not to, but it might depend on what it is.

Originally Posted by YouTube comment
Yet another man lost to irony poisoning, cynicism, hyper-self awareness and the inability to be sincere.

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post #23 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-01-2021, 07:07 AM
Stoicism / ACT / CFT
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: UK
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,853
The Good:

Made a lot of progress with my social anxiety and mental health, and hit some milestones I never thought I would hit. Got some crappy employment with the local NHS trust with meetings and so forth over zoon which I am now comfortable communicating in, started going for job interviews, so hopefully I land something soon and can start moving forwards on my career. Started putting down boundaries with toxic people, generally speaking just moving forward with my life. Discovered my values, did a lot of work in stoicism, ACT, CFT. Went on a couple of dates, one of which I did by more or less cold approaching a woman in a shop lol. Never thought I would be able to to that. Gained the ability to tolerate a lot of discomfort, suffering and pain (somewhat diminished now)

Lost a lot of weight and am now almost at my target weight. Gained some muscle (though that's likely gone now hah). Improved my appearance significantly. Went on finasteride and so my hair loss has likely stopped. No side effects (yay, bullet dodged).

Continued my friendship with my very best friend and somehow didn't **** it up. Love her to bits. Reached out to a few more people and am trying to build friendships.

The Bad:

Split up with my girlfriend and spent most of the year in a lot of emotional pain. didn't want to do it, but felt I had no choice. Got arrested (worst day of my life), then they eventually dropped the case. Long story, but a ****ing nightmare. That set me back a long way. Still no success with job interviews and struggling to motivate myself with the process and push forward with a career that has a lot of social interaction. Lost progress socially due to lockdown. Can't go to the gym, so a major stress relieving outlet for me gone, and cant secretly look at women in yoga pants in the mirror (lol sorry, its true tho). On the brink of a weird drug problem, but probably going to be okay there.

Reading that back, the bad sounds ****ing insane lol, but yeh.

Compassion focused therapy audio, guided meditations:
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post #24 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-02-2021, 01:48 AM
Barbells and kittens
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,728
The good:

Got a much higher paying job in 2020. Bought a house a few months ago. Technically part of 2021, but got married earlier today. Hit a long term bench press goal a few months ago.

The bad:

A hip injury from 2019 I managed to make worse over the year. In almost constant pain at the moment. It has me a little worried since it could affect my work plus I love the gym. My grandmother died this year. She was the last of my grandparents, so that was definitely sad. While I enjoy the solitude of working alone at night I do feel more detached from normal life. That and my wife works days and that means we don't see each other much during the week. My current job is nights only, so no hope of days and the pay is more than I could expect anywhere else around here.
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post #25 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-02-2021, 09:03 AM
Failure's Art
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Join Date: Apr 2020
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Originally Posted by JH1983 View Post
Technically part of 2021, but got married earlier today.

Congrats man! Hope this makes up for all the bad things that you experienced in 2020.

You live up in your head
Scared of every little noise
Someone's always breaking in accidentally
Using nothing but their voice
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post #26 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-02-2021, 09:55 AM
SAS Member
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: PA
Gender: Male
Age: 44
Posts: 5,808
Horrible year, as if that need be said. This governor's actions in the spring caused folks at my company to restructure things, let go a few people, and sort of promote me a bit. I'm making more money than I have, but the cost is that my stress levels related to the job have increased dramatically. I never asked for this promotion but it was pretty much either that or "later". I have wanted to leave this job for years but now I feel stuck because finding another job is so difficult. Aside from that, I made no progress in . . . anything.

I haven't any dreams left to dream. We'll never get off this island. Never.
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post #27 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-02-2021, 12:12 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Illinois, in my Landlord's basement
Age: 29
Posts: 8,798
the good: supportive therapist and family.

the bad: covid-19, was going to try more in dating in 2020 after not trying very hard for a few years, too.

the ugly: the government's handling of the pandemic.
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post #28 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-02-2021, 12:29 PM
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Location: USA
Language: American English, some Spanish
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,574
Eh. Can't really complain since there are people who were directly affected by COVID-19, some of whom lost family because of it. I would say I'm fortunate thus far because it hasn't hit any extended relatives badly nor even hit my immediate family. Was somewhat disappointing since I had plans that would have potentially had me start fresh.
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post #29 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-02-2021, 02:31 PM
Barbells and kittens
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Originally Posted by either/or View Post
Congrats man! Hope this makes up for all the bad things that you experienced in 2020.
Thank you!
Posted via Mobile Device
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post #30 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-02-2021, 05:03 PM
Born Of Blotmonađ
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Location: Over Yonder
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Age: 33
Posts: 18,833
My Mood: Cynical
I moved in with nothing & spent the year furnishing my place & got laid for the first time, despite the pandemic I had one of my social years ever...not too much to complain about really compared pretty much most of the planet
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post #31 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-02-2021, 09:38 PM
SAS Member
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Location: Maryland
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,449
My Mood: Worried
Originally Posted by Canadian Brotha View Post
I moved in with nothing & spent the year furnishing my place & got laid for the first time, despite the pandemic I had one of my social years ever...not too much to complain about really compared pretty much most of the planet
Great job getting lucky for the first time. So how did you meet her? Was it a one night stand or did you have to date her for a while?
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post #32 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-03-2021, 12:57 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Ricola
Language: Algonquin
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,126
My Mood: Psychedelic
I feel like even the virus was no match for the avoidance I employ on an ongoing basis. In this sense, 2020 was the same as 2019, 2011, 2002, 1983, 1977 etc. It was another year in which I refused to take necessary leaps. Not to say it was all bad because I do know a few people and I appreciate their presence and the fact they are still with me. gotta keep the goal in mind, develop tunnel vision to a certain extent. it's hard, and it's not for everyone.

~bad baby

"Daisy, may I ask why you're holding Miss Sybil's biscuit jar?"
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