Bad: no gym, no late night grocery shopping, suppressed shopping in general, haven't met up with the very few friends I have left, one of them went on/off suicidal, haven't seen my niece and nephew for a year which was a miracle they were even a bit close to me to begin with (pretty sure our relationship is now estranged beyond repair), sister decided to mysteriously sever contact from me, have yet to meet my sister's newborn due to previous point, dad decided to sever contact from me due to my constant venting, always having housemates being home (rarely get the house to myself), not being able to travel, lacking the routine structure of having to be on the go, lost the motivation to venture out too far for hikes.
Good: employment remained stable despite covid, more time spent at home due to working from home, got another side income, more time with my dog, dog remained relatively healthy at her age, more outdoor exercises, one friend still made effort to keep touch with me (thankful for her), got closer to stepdad, decorated my room and outdoor space pretty much to the way I want now, found new housemates to fill the vacant bedrooms, experimented more with cooking.
Pretty much a year with up/downs. But having my dad and sister sever contact with me I felt overwhelm the ups. Meanwhile the constant anticipating stress and worries will always remain. Just gotta take things by bits and really enjoy and take in the small moments as they go just to try to suppress and keep my bad thoughts at bay. It's kind of like living as an active patrolling soldier or a survivor in an apocalypse.
What goes up, will inevitably come back down. Whoever you have to step on when you go up, you will be at their mercy when you go down.
The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.
Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.