Would a girl want to date a 30 year old that still lives at home with his parents. - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 37 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 08:45 AM
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Its not an ideal situation living with your parents at 30. I was in the situation in my late 20's where I had to move back home for a while. Remember trying to pick up women at the bar but having to take them back to the house where my parents lived made it very uncomfortable. So get out of your parents house as soon as you got the money saved
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post #22 of 37 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 10:35 AM
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But then if he inherits the house, then suddenly he has his own place and own privacy just as much as if he'd went out and bought a house. And by that time, it's probably all fully-furnushed etc. Intrinsically, once he has the house, there's no difference then between bought and inherited.. The only thing that matters now or is relevant is he has his own house now that would be a suitable place for a husband and wife. So would you have no preference then for a guy who's actively bought or inherited?
Basically I just want to know that he has cut the umbilical cord at some point and lived his life away from his parents, or worked to achieve something without help from his parents. He doesn't need to have his own home, but has he fully supported himself before (e.g. without having rent and expenses subsidized by family or government)? Does his mother still do his laundry? Can he take care of himself? Etc.

Plus if you're inheriting due to a parent's natural death, you're probably like 60.
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post #23 of 37 (permalink) Old 01-28-2020, 01:29 AM
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Oh, i wasnt disagreeing with what you said and what you said is right eniugh. It's just that I had already explained like you say now about he can go to hers and his living at parents shouldn't be that much of an issue. It's just when I read about how you than wrote about the "plain annoying " part that it felt as if you hadn't read my post about where he/they should have more than one option rather than his place.


Yes! But it depends on what people are prepared to deal with. For some women, the fact that they have to tiptoe ("because parents") OR always go to their place could be an annoyance. For me it would be an issue not because the guy stills lives at home, but because he isn't able to demand a life free from interference for his rent money. To me it would signal that:


a) he could be dependent on/heavily influenced by his parents;

b) to him, money > independence;

c) me and my home have to conveniently fit around his lifestyle.


Then again, this is hugely hypothetical. The parents, for example, could be totally cool.

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post #24 of 37 (permalink) Old 01-28-2020, 05:42 AM
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Originally Posted by leaf in the wind View Post
Basically I just want to know that he has cut the umbilical cord at some point and lived his life away from his parents, or worked to achieve something without help from his parents. He doesn't need to have his own home, but has he fully supported himself before (e.g. without having rent and expenses subsidized by family or government)? Does his mother still do his laundry? Can he take care of himself? Etc.

Plus if you're inheriting due to a parent's natural death, you're probably like 60.
Oh, I see. So it's more that he does things for himself using his own money and can do stuff like laundry, cooking, cleaning, finance blah blah blah by himself and he's learned how to do it. So it's more that he does grown-upey things more intrinsically than "he has his own home".

Well I know a woman in early 30s who has her own home and she was an orphan by her early 30's . Both her parents were gone by early 30s so the thing about being 60 isn't always gonna be true.

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post #25 of 37 (permalink) Old 01-28-2020, 11:40 AM
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There are other people on my street in their 30s that live at home. One guy was living with his girlfriend who lived at the home with her parents, and the kid they had together. They didn't seem to have any issues with their situation.
Its the main reason I don't date. But I'm messed up enough that I probably wouldn't date anyways due to low esteem. It is possible, just have to play the field a bit more to find a woman who is okay with the living conditions.

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post #26 of 37 (permalink) Old 01-28-2020, 11:53 AM
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Simple answer if you live in North America, no, no they would not want to date you.

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post #27 of 37 (permalink) Old 01-28-2020, 05:45 PM
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post #28 of 37 (permalink) Old 01-28-2020, 09:47 PM
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I don't think I'd date a 30 year old girl who still lived with her parents...
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post #29 of 37 (permalink) Old 01-29-2020, 03:23 AM
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In general most women find it unattractive but then again I suppose it really just depends on the situation. If you're driven to improve your life and are working hard to better yourself then I fail to see how that's particularly unattractive.

Speaking generally though.

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post #30 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-02-2020, 06:32 AM
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See above. But in general, definitely not a good look.

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post #31 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-05-2020, 06:35 PM
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Probably not. However my friend was 26 & lived w/ his parents & he was in a relationship with a woman for a year and a half. She was very sweet. I wouldn't say it's impossible.

But you should be trying to better yourself & get your own place. Then in time you may get gf.

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post #32 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-05-2020, 08:41 PM
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If I really liked him, the circumstances you described would certainly not deter me or make me think less of him.
agree
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post #33 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-05-2020, 10:04 PM
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In this way it shouldn't be something impossible, but everyone likes to have high standards though...

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post #34 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-05-2020, 11:13 PM
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I don’t see it as a big deal if you are doing it to save money, frugality is appealing to me because someone who is financially cautious is more stable.
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post #35 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-06-2020, 08:57 AM
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Most women want a guy who is self sufficient. That said they also want a guy with potential. So basically, although living at home in your 30's is a negative, if you talk about your plan to get your own place and what you want to do with your life then they can often look past that if you present it all in a positive manner. I'm currently living with my parents having just turned 30 and it's because I need a huge deposit for a 2 bedroom apartment where I live. I estimate it will take me another year - 18 months depending on how much overtime I can do, I'm comfortable telling anyone this as I am confident in my plan and know that plenty of other people are in the same boat. Hell, I even know some pretty women my age still living at home because they either can't afford to move out or they keep falling for undependable men and end up having to move back to their parents. I also know a landlord who rents out rooms in large houses who says most of his renters are between 28 and 40. The younger ones are there because they can only afford to rent a bedroom and the older ones are there because of divorce in most cases. He said pre-2008 most renters were between 16 and 25, teens working their first job or young couples saving for a mortgage. The economic crash changed everything, it changed western culture totally and now people live at home as long as they can since property prices went up but wages went stagnant or even dropped in some industries. I just looked it up and the average age of a First Time Buyer where I live is 34. 84.4% of approved applicants are applying with a working partner too. I guess if I can do it at 31/32 as a single guy then that's actually pretty good for where I live.

TL;DR - As long as you have a realistic plan to get your own place and convey that plan well and with confidence then many women won't mind. Oh and BTW, whilst you still live at home learn how to do the household basics, get your parents to teach you if you have to. Learn to cook a few meals from scratch too, nothing too fancy, just something you like and would feel comfortable serving on a date.
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post #36 of 37 (permalink) Old 02-06-2020, 12:31 PM
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post #37 of 37 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 11:47 PM
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I'm mostly doing do this to save money for a house. Basically because of the way I'm doing this I can pool most of my money into saving. So when I do get married, I'll hopefully have the money to buy a house. I also do have a full time job. I do pay rent, and I do own a car. So I'm not living in the basement playing video games all day doing nothing.
It seems like you're independent. I don't think it would be that much of an issue for most girls.
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