Work Experience (please help!)
I don't know whether or not it's the same where you guys live, but in England, when we are 15 years old we are forced to go to a workplace (e.g. a shop or business) for 2 weeks in order to gather skills needed for later life. It is supposed to let us get used to the atmosphere of a workplace, and what will be asked of us when we have our own jobs.
The only issue with this is that I do not adjust well to new environments, and this one (a small shop not too far from home) is scaring the hell out of me. I have gone there for a week, and I loathe the place. As soon as I walk through the doors, I feel myself sink deeper and deeper into myself until I'm not there any more. If any of my colleagues or clients ask me something, I tend to choke out one-word answers, as they are all I can manage. It's painful and extremely anxiety-inducing.
Yesterday, I had only been in work for half an hour before I couldn't take it any more. I was breaking out in a massively uncomfortable sweat, even in a thin t-shirt and leggings, I felt like I was going to be sick and my vision was going blurry. Although I never said it to my colleagues, I think that this illness was brought on by anxiety. It didn't help when my colleague got angry with me for the way I handled a client (our first customer of the day). I was already scared out of my mind, and although I know that I'd done a horrific job, it pushed me over the edge.
In the end, I called home and asked my dad to pick me up because I knew that I physically couldn't stay. You'd think that that would be relieving, but there's still one tiny little problem.
I am still only half way through my work experience.
Needless to say, I physically can't go in on Monday. I won't. I have been trying to convince my mum all week to let me quit the job and ask my school if I could try a different one, but she never listened to me. On Wednesday night, I had a panic attack in front of her, but still she didn't get the message: I couldn't carry on.
Thankfully, today (on Saturday!) she has given in and contacted my school to ask for a different placement. What I still find alarming though is that she didn't get the message any sooner. I literally had a panic attack in front of her eyes. I know she finds me pathetic and useless. She keeps asking me things like "How are you going to cope in life if you can't talk to people?", but she just doesn't understand. She expects me to have the answers, but I don't. I don't know. It's something I ask myself all the damn time. Recently she told me that I belonged in a mental asylum because I was "wallowing in my own misery". She is willing to question and criticise me, but reluctant to offer any proper help - and I need proper help!
Please, if you are reading this, tell me a way in which I can get my parents to understand my social anxiety, and suggest ways in which I can overcome my inability to speak to people.