Why - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-15-2015, 08:43 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
porkbelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Where no one can see me
Posts: 33

Why


I wonder why people on this forum are so bitter towards people who can manage their social lives. Actually no I don't wonder, I know why that is, we all need a coping mechanism, when we see something that someone else has that we don't have we need a way of making sense of it and we can do it in one or two ways. We can rationalize by talking down to those who have what we don't have or we can conclude that there is something wrong with us that leads us to not having what we want. Both of these are quite pointless since having either opinion doesn't help you in getting what you wanted. All of this is just theorizing though, I honestly have no idea what people do and why they do the things they do, I'm too alienated from society.
porkbelly is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-15-2015, 10:25 AM
SAS Member
 
teuton's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Europe
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Posts: 436
My Mood: Fine
Hmmm, not all. In fact, I kinda appreciate a lot of good talkers and trying to learn from them.

I just see it like a very good skill to have, why to hate them because you don't have it ?
teuton is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-15-2015, 10:32 AM
SAS Member
 
hipolito's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ontario
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Posts: 312
^ people should be like you, but I agree with the OP that most insecure people are not like this (not just people on here, but I've met a lot of insecure people in real life that talk like that). That's just what being insecure means.
I find it strange though that the ones that seem really smart too don't realize what they're doing.
I think it's not cool to say somebody else doesn't deserve a good thing that they've got. I covet, but I am at least aware every time I have these thoughts, and I sure as hell don't convince myself that they don't deserve them, or "Yeah they are really smart and funny and cool, but.... they're ugly?!?"

I also agree that we only do this to avoid coming to terms with the fact that there are serious things wrong with us (I mean, we already know it, but we don't always want to remind ourselves of this). That makes sense. But as you say, going the other way and just feeling bad about ourselves every time we see someone better off than us is not helpful. We deserve things as long as we're willing to put in a reasonable effort.

I think most people here secretly believe that they are not all that bad, and that they're actually a little gem if only they could show it off somehow. You don't need to prove it to yourself or somebody else, just hold on to that secret belief and don't make it so secret!
hipolito is offline  
 
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-15-2015, 10:45 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Oklahoma
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Posts: 17
I'm envious, plain and simple. For whatever reason, I feel like I need to undersell myself, and it gets me nowhere. That creates animosity toward people who oversell themselves. They exaggerate in job interviews to get what they want. They exaggerate when they flirt. It's like playing a board game where everyone knows the rules but you. That kid at the end of those commercials that says "I win!"... I can't stand that kid lol.

I love people, but I hate society. If that makes sense.
Frogfoot is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-15-2015, 12:43 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
porkbelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Where no one can see me
Posts: 33
There should be an instruction-manual for insecure people how to let go of animosity towards success and instead find it for oneself. It might be too obscure to research or it might be down to having to change ones world view. I think it helps to look at where this worldview comes from, it comes from insecurity, insecurity comes from lack of appreciation, lack of self Worth and lack of love. With my imaginary dr's degree I conclude that this worldview that is so critical of other people comes from a lack of love. It is a sad phenomenon and can come from having unloving parents or from being bullied, either way I wish we could all just be loved in abundance so that we can live truly fullfilling lives and not be plagued by our insecurities.
porkbelly is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-15-2015, 12:55 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Oklahoma
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Posts: 17
That was a different version of the matrix, and it didn't work.
Frogfoot is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome