Where Have You Met Your Friends? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-16-2020, 08:38 PM Thread Starter
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Where Have You Met Your Friends?


Most people make life long friends from school. Usually high school.
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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-16-2020, 08:55 PM
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I guess school is one place. My best friend I grew up next door to, and then another one I met because he went to school with him, so we became mates too. Then I met a few more through work when I was a lot younger. I still keep in touch with a couple of them - we've known each other a long time.

I guess it's harder to make friends as you get older - although it's possible. I met a really funny guy up in Bali one time - he just started talking to me in a restaurant and I really should have kept in touch with him. I think the thing is to try and be open and friendly - but I know how hard that is if you're feeling really anxious etc.
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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 02:49 AM
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They're in my head.


I cut everyone off, even a really good friend I used to have. I regret that but it's all I could do at the time.

My brother's friends are nice to me, and two of them said they consider me a friend as well. We never hang out alone though.

Flowers will grow from these wounds.
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 03:40 AM
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I have a weird thing abt friendship, but I've found who most others would consider friends at work, school, Adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families. Other similar support groups. I'd love to make friends around my other interests though, such as singing, theatre, etc.

Overcoming inertia.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 10:01 AM
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i have no friends as such, but i do meet some people to socialise with in a mental health club......mental health clubs are places where mentally ill folk can go to participate in acttivities like art creatuve writint, yoga or group therapy to anem but a few or else you can just drop in for a cooffee.....you meet like minded people here whoa re humble and understanding....having social anxiety would qualify you for membership but you could also say you have depression as well if there are any difficulties....google it.
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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 03:24 PM
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Omg. I'm the same. In support groups I feel at home and love making friends. Outside that I go to regular meetup groups online so I know a few people but it's so difficult to keep in touch outside of our virtual gathering and slightly awk. I will try when there's physical meetings. I guess it's not about forcing it but finding people who I share commonality with.
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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 05:35 PM
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I don't have any real life friends. I have a couple old high school friends and a few old coworkers that I talk to here and there on Facebook, but that's it.
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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 09:05 PM
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Church... Barber shop... Neighbors... Meetups... Conventions...

I also have an ideal scenario:

[At the grocery store, I see someone with a gaming/anime shirt]

Me: Oh cool shirt, I'm into [blank] too!

Them: Oh really? I play all the time!

Me: So do I! Let's exchange gamertags!

[insta gaming friend that you know in real life]

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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 09:30 PM
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In the past I met them at work,my old neighborhood and through my family members or others friends I already had.
When I was growing up,we didn't have the internet so we had to go out there and actually try to talk to people face to face. It was really scary back then.
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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 10:12 PM
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wtf are friends?
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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 11:33 PM
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As I traveled down the sharply shifting roads of life, forks in the road would abruptly come out of nowhere. Anonymous as these forks were, they were life changing for the most part. Seemingly at each fork in the road I'd lose another friend to this or that. Sometimes they would be "normal" life events. Others, were dramatic scenes straight out of a Quentin Tarantino movie. Either way, good riddance to some and good bye to others.

Smile.
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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-18-2020, 02:15 AM
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When I was younger I met them at school, but I barely have any contact with them anymore. I met my current friends through a series of coincidences that started with me reluctantly deciding to go to a meetup in my town. If I'd just driven straight home that day, my life today would be very different.
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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-18-2020, 03:41 AM
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I made some in school but over time, we aren't in touch anymore. As Adults, being in public places due to interest, like going to an event, to an art thing, to whatever, may help to meet people with similar interests and develop a connection.
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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-18-2020, 06:28 AM
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If I were only counting friends who I talk to on a daily/weekly basis, then 2 from school and 2 from the internet. There's a few others here and there, but we get along fine with just the occasional catch-up. I don't have the social stamina to juggle a bunch of friends.
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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-18-2020, 10:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fire mage64 View Post
Church... Barber shop... Neighbors... Meetups... Conventions...

I also have an ideal scenario:

[At the grocery store, I see someone with a gaming/anime shirt]

Me: Oh cool shirt, I'm into [blank] too!

Them: Oh really? I play all the time!

Me: So do I! Let's exchange gamertags!

[insta gaming friend that you know in real life]
It's actually a cute concept, but I have a really hard time approaching someone ;_; feelsmanbad
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post #16 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-20-2020, 04:02 PM
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yes in high school but I dropped all of em, every single one of em. Its quality over quantity or none at all at this point.

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Still thinking of one.
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post #17 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-21-2020, 05:54 PM
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I haven't made a new friend in a long time, but it's been through school, online, friends of friends, Meet-up, work, and the occasional casual encounter.
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post #18 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-21-2020, 07:17 PM
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High school, college and work. No idea how to meet people any other way. I have to be forced into a situation where I meet people basically.

Everybody knows you only live a day but it's brilliant anyway
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post #19 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-22-2020, 11:59 AM
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Friend 1 - From college

Friends 2-8 - From travelling


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post #20 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-23-2020, 01:16 AM
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I met about 80% of them here, 1 from another forum, 1 from a social anxiety meetup group.

Play The Social Anxiety Game

"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'" ― Kurt Vonnegut
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