When SA becomes worse - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-29-2020, 07:22 AM Thread Starter
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I went on a bike ride yesterday and overexerted myself and that caused a lot of anxiety and just not feeling able to relax no matter what I did. My mom asked me if I wanted to go the store with her (which is one of my triggers for my anxiety) so I did, wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone and because I don't want to be cooped up in the house all of the time and when I was there I felt like I was having an anxiety attack. I was trying to hard to keep it together and I lasted without having to go out to the car. I didn't feel accomplished or proud of myself at all.. when I got home I felt nothing but anxiety and depression.

It sucks when you try to overcome your fears and better yourself but it only ends up making things worse.. it makes me want to give up even though I refuse to.

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-29-2020, 08:24 AM
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so sorry for you! try to get medicine for it, have you tried redicalm? its gotta be great i think it contains 5-htp, l-theanine and aswahhfhfghdhdha somekinda name but its 5 most powerfull ingredients in there, it popped up as ad just recently here on sas



also dont stop trying, its tuff but theres different days and moods changes


i dont fear stores anymore, nothing ever happens there and nobody totally cares about you, you are like invisible there, no worth to be afraid of
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-29-2020, 08:49 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by lil_tails View Post
so sorry for you! <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a> try to get medicine for it, have you tried redicalm? its gotta be great i think it contains 5-htp, l-theanine and aswahhfhfghdhdha somekinda name but its 5 most powerfull ingredients in there, it popped up as ad just recently here on sas



also dont stop trying, its tuff but theres different days and moods changes




i dont fear stores anymore, nothing ever happens there and nobody totally cares about you, you are like invisible there, no worth to be afraid of
I have.. I've been a lot of different anxiety medications. I'll have to check that out, thanks. That's good to hear
For the most part I can keep kit together and even knowing that people are only doing their thing and not focused on me still doesn't give me much relief..

Thanks for replying and your advice, I appreciate it &#x1f642;

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-29-2020, 10:45 AM
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@deetzy , so cool that you don't want to give up and that you are trying so hard! &#x1f600;

Maybe try changing your tactics a bit, though!

Don't overexert yourself too much too often!

Otherwise you will internalize even more that those situations are giving you stress and exhaust you, instead of learning that those situations can be at least OK!!!

And try to end each "lesson" positively somehow with something you really like or enjoy!
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-29-2020, 03:04 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by GermanHermit View Post
@deetzy , so cool that you don't want to give up and that you are trying so hard! &#x1f600;

Maybe try changing your tactics a bit, though!

Don't overexert yourself too much too often!

Otherwise you will internalize even more that those situations are giving you stress and exhaust you, instead of learning that those situations can be at least OK!!!

And try to end each "lesson" positively somehow with something you really like or enjoy!
Thanks &#x1f642; Noted!

Even if I don't push myself hard exercising, there are a lot of days where going out does not feel ok.. I get nervous, overheat, and just do not feel right.

I don't really know what I enjoy doing

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-04-2020, 02:15 PM
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I agree that sometimes trying to "push through" your fears makes them worse. It's not necessarily about enduring the anxiety, but being aware of what is going on in your mind to cause it and LEARNING from the experience.

But, just because you didn't leave the car doesn't mean you are a failure. It only meant you weren't emotionally strong enough in that moment to handle the stress. Anxiety is extremely exhausting, and some days you just aren't going to have it. Don't feel guilty. You tried and it was a pretty brave thing to do considering you were already feeling anxious that day to begin with.

The world is not my home. I'm just passing through.
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-05-2020, 07:03 AM Thread Starter
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I agree that sometimes trying to "push through" your fears makes them worse. It's not necessarily about enduring the anxiety, but being aware of what is going on in your mind to cause it and LEARNING from the experience.

But, just because you didn't leave the car doesn't mean you are a failure. It only meant you weren't emotionally strong enough in that moment to handle the stress. Anxiety is extremely exhausting, and some days you just aren't going to have it. Don't feel guilty. You tried and it was a pretty brave thing to do considering you were already feeling anxious that day to begin with.
I am aware of what is going on in my head to cause it but that doesn't ever change anything. Therapists and others say the best thing to do is make yourself do it over and over and then you'll eventually get used to it and you're telling me something different..

Thank you, I appreciate your reply!

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-05-2020, 09:08 AM
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Karsten is absolutely right in regards of not simply enduring the anxiety but the thoughts and emotions going on at that moment!!!
Many people still don't seem to understand that!

Simply just knowing what's going on upstairs doesn't change anything!

It's like constantly trying to get somewhere through the same bl**dy door over and over again even if it's obviously too small or blocked!

You need to dare to question your thoughts and emotions yourself in a constructive inner conversation:

They are always looking at me!!!
Are they really looking at me?
Why are they not looking at me?
I am looking at them!!!
(otherwise I wouldn't see them looking at me!)
Do I always think badly about the person I am looking at?
Why did I think negatively about that person?
So what! Let them look at me!
(I got other things to do!)
How annoying that this is constantly annoying me!
What would help me get through with this better?

OK, enough! Something like that! You get the idea!
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-05-2020, 07:26 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by GermanHermit View Post
Karsten is absolutely right in regards of not simply enduring the anxiety but the thoughts and emotions going on at that moment!!!
Many people still don't seem to understand that!

Simply just knowing what's going on upstairs doesn't change anything!

It's like constantly trying to get somewhere through the same bl**dy door over and over again even if it's obviously too small or blocked!

You need to dare to question your thoughts and emotions yourself in a constructive inner conversation:

They are always looking at me!!!
Are they really looking at me?
Why are they not looking at me?
I am looking at them!!!
(otherwise I wouldn't see them looking at me!)
Do I always think badly about the person I am looking at?
Why did I think negatively about that person?
So what! Let them look at me!
(I got other things to do!)
How annoying that this is constantly annoying me!
What would help me get through with this better?

OK, enough! Something like that! You get the idea!
Like I said...I already do that
I don't know what would help me get through it better lol.

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-18-2020, 07:14 PM
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Originally Posted by deetzy View Post
My mom asked me if I wanted to go the store with her (which is one of my triggers for my anxiety)
What are some of the negative thoughts you have when you enter a store?

I found these questions from an old therapy worksheet (Back then I filled them up and ran out of space!):

1) What is the evidence that the automatic thought is true? Not true?

2) Is there an alternative explanation?

3) What's the worse that could happen? Could I live through it? What's the best that could happen?

4) What should I do about it?

5) What's the effect of my believing the automatic thought? What could be the effect of changing my thinking?

6) If a person I know was in this situation and had this thought, what would I tell her/him?

Know and believe in yourself, and what others think won't disturb you (William Feather)
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