When People Are Nice To You .. - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-03-2020, 11:44 PM Thread Starter
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How do you feel?

I feel weird when someone is friendly towards me. Especially attractive people.

I expect everyone to be weirded out by me.

It feels nice but it also makes me uncomfortable (I feel shy) . Not that people are horrible to me, but I know what it's like to be disrespected. And see people's reaction towards me.

There is this new driver at work who only works on Fridays. I met him today and he was nice to me and talked to me normally. He complimented my boots.

I talked to him normally but I kept on thinking why are you friendly towards me.

I wish I can be as sociable as he is.
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-04-2020, 02:43 AM
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Maybe just try and talk to other people like he talked to you today - and like you talked to back to him.

After a while you might get more used to it OP. There's no reason why people shouldn't be nice to you.
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-04-2020, 02:52 AM
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I know it's out of pity, but I always appreciate the gesture. Always nice to have someone like that around, instead of someone who just sees an awkward helpless loner as a safe target for abuse.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-04-2020, 03:19 AM
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It makes me pretty uncomfortable when people are friendly. I'm more used to neutrality or animosity so.
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-05-2020, 09:42 AM
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It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It's not something I'm used to, and feels funny but I like it.

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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-05-2020, 11:23 AM
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Just nice is okay, but once someone goes out of their way to help me or be friendly to me I start to feel guilty like I don't deserve it.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-05-2020, 01:15 PM
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Nice as in friendly or nice as in complimenting you?

The first, I am fine with and usually enjoy talking with them.
The latter, I usually just feel awkward because I expect whatever I am complimented on is usually the bare minimum. (I recall one exception, where a member of another group pointed out that a part of our work was very well done, and I had done that part alone)

"If you need a safe space, see a therapist" - Jordan Peterson
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-05-2020, 08:55 PM
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Weird. I figure soon enough theyíll become rude so I try not to consider it a big deal or whatever.
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-05-2020, 08:59 PM
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I like it, however there's always the fear of them being less receptive when they realize I'm a little socially out of touch and strange

Life's Wack
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-11-2020, 11:01 AM
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My boss keeps complimenting me on my performance. and i feel like that means something bad is gonna happen soon. Not just in my head either. Real life experiences have taught me this..over and over.

My old job they asked if I wanted to move up to manager and I declined because I didn't think I had the social skills for it...
When people are nice to me, especially guys I feel ulterior motives behind it. Haven't been wrong yet...

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or who has no need because he is sufficient
for himself, must either be a beast or a god.Ē
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-13-2020, 05:28 PM
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I donít really know how to process it at times? I tend to feel anxious. Which is when Iíll give a nervous laugh and a thanks. Disbelief is somewhat common. Iíve also cried due to happiness (once or twice) when people have been really thoughtful because I donít usually expect it. It depends on the situation.

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-13-2020, 05:56 PM
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Depends. It sometimes makes me suspicious if it is someone who isn't nice to everyone and they don't know me very well. When I know someone is grumpy or indifferent to most people and they're friendly with me for seemingly no reason it makes you wonder why I guess. Not that that happens often. But how often it doesn't happen is why it usually makes me suspicions, as it is infrequent enough to be unusual. Things that are unusual are often a red flag.

OTOH, if it is just some random person I meet somewhere I tend to just think they're probably like that with everyone unless it seems fake and very forward. Then it just weirds me out pretty much the same way as in the previous example.

And then there are people I know well who usually treat me like crap and suddenly are really nice. That's obviously a bad sign.
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