What techniques are you using? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 04:03 AM Thread Starter
 
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What techniques are you using?


If any of you are working at different SA techniques i would be interested in hearing what you are doing. I would also like to know if you are working on breaking the SA maintenance cycles, as we could support each other in doing so.

Thanks, AL
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 07:58 AM
 
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Re: What techniques are you using?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Moving_Forward
If any of you are working at different SA techniques i would be interested in hearing what you are doing. I would also like to know if you are working on breaking the SA maintenance cycles, as we could support each other in doing so.

Thanks, AL
I'm not sure if you are asking about formal (as in CBT) techniques or just any techniques. Also, could you define "SA maintenance cycles"? I don't know what that means. Are you referring to routine anxious thoughts that we may have?

One informal technique I use to combat SA is to resist "spinning my wheels" around people I get negative vibes from. Instead of dwelling on my failures to connect with someone--and it's not just a result of SAD misperception as it's virtually impossible for someone to connect with everyone--I move on to "greener pastures." There are enough people in this world with whom I can have positive connections, and I focus on them.

In line with this thinking is my realization through the years to not expect much from others. People are chiefly self-centered. I realize that most people in this world care more about selecting food items for dinner at their local grocery store than about me and what I do or do not do (a lot of "do's" there ). I think I dwell on the welfare of others far more than the average person does. This is good to a degree, but in excess, I waste time and I risk assuming that they dwell over me in a likewise manner. People are too busy to care, for the most part. Close friends and family, I have learned, are the only ones who give much thought to me and my doings. This is good in one way, and not so good in another way. It helps with SA, but it doesn't help in those rare times that I feel a little lonely and ignored.
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:57 AM
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1. I force myself to get out of the house everyday. Even if you can only get yourself to go out onto your lawn thats better than nothing.

2. At the end of the day I try to think of all the good things I did that day. So if I said "hi" to someone that would be something to list. This one can be done by anyone if they think about it hard enough.

3. I try to expose myself to social situations that I fear. An example would be how I forced myself to go to the mall. Getting a job or going to college are good too, because you have no choice but to go everyday. I set a deadline once and forced myself to call a girl. I think I sounded like a fool, but the important thing is that I did it. I'm planning on trying to join toastmasters soon to see if that can push me farther.

Number 3 can be very hard. You just need to try to ignore any symptoms you get like sweating, shaking, blushing, etc(this part is hard)
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:45 AM
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I use the master ninja techniques...i hide in the shadows

But seriously, i set a few goals for myself.

Like going out for a walk everyday

^I actualy set this goal with an online friend. We both do it and we send some pics to eachother to kinda prove we did.
It actualy helps us quite a bit.

I also try to speak with people when i go for my walk. I mostly do it with elderly because they are easier to talk to, and they do have some funny stories to tell
Even if it's just small talk or a hello, i still feel like i have accomplished something.

Another goal is to try to eat healthier...cut the junk food and soft drinks.

You're Winner!
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 11:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triste Golem
I use the master ninja techniques...i hide in the shadows


When a negative thought comes into my mind, I immediately stop it with an internal "NO!" I then rethink the situation by doing the following:
* Describe the situation. Describe the fear or anger...

* Listen to each of my internal voices about the situation: the playful child, the fearful child, the nurturing parent, and the critical parent. A description of each of these individual:
Playful child: The side of you that wants to have fun.
Fearful child: The side of you that is scared of certain situations or the unknown.
Nurturing Parent: The side of you that forgives yourself in most-all situations.
Critical Parent: The side of you that expects results.

* Then let my adult rationally decide what I should do from the internal discussion.
The adult is your decision maker. He/She is the one that will carefully listen to all your internal arguments and can best make a decision rationally.

Sometimes, one of your internal voices will over-control the situation and it's up to your adult to balance the discussion. I know this sounds like a lot to do in certain situations but with practice it gets easier and easier...

This was part of my therapy and it had helped me. Personally, it's mostly a struggle with my critical parent cuz I have these unfair expectations of myself.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 12:51 PM
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I've started going for walks in broad daylight, something I haven't done since I was 18, and said hi to a neighbor once who said hi to me first, but still.
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 12:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suncowiam
When a negative thought comes into my mind, I immediately stop it with an internal "NO!" I then rethink the situation by doing the following:
* Describe the situation. Describe the fear or anger...

* Listen to each of my internal voices about the situation: the playful child, the fearful child, the nurturing parent, and the critical parent. A description of each of these individual:
Playful child: The side of you that wants to have fun.
Fearful child: The side of you that is scared of certain situations or the unknown.
Nurturing Parent: The side of you that forgives yourself in most-all situations.
Critical Parent: The side of you that expects results.

* Then let my adult rationally decide what I should do from the internal discussion.
The adult is your decision maker. He/She is the one that will carefully listen to all your internal arguments and can best make a decision rationally.

Sometimes, one of your internal voices will over-control the situation and it's up to your adult to balance the discussion. I know this sounds like a lot to do in certain situations but with practice it gets easier and easier...

This was part of my therapy and it had helped me. Personally, it's mostly a struggle with my critical parent cuz I have these unfair expectations of myself.
How has this reframming been for you? How long have you been practicing it?

Also, how do you go through this in a social situation? My mind is very ADD and goes all over the place or else goes blank often when i'm in a high anxiety social situation, so i was wondering how you can focus on this...

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...p-therapy-357/
Online Cognitive Behavioral Group Therapy (CBT) - Join if interested in Overcoming SA
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 02:56 PM
 
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I do yoga. I didn't think it could *really* help, but I did it anyway and it really is phenomenal. When I'm doing it, I don't usually really enjoy it tons and tons (it's not bad), so I'm always thinking it's not going to work. Then at the end there is a meditation (I tape the Oxygen Channel's "Inhale" every weekday morning), and when I'm done I notice that things which normally make me all anxious and worried and uptight, just DON'T. It's not only a psychological calm, but my body just doesn't jump to attention at the littlest things...like my adrenaline has taken a little vacation. I feel much more centered and the rest of the day I feel more capable of taking on the world.

I also do deep breathing from my diaphram when I start to feel anxious. It takes the edge off just slightly, though it's not something you just do and VOILA! all better. Overall, though, it keeps my panic attacks from getting out of hand generally.

And while this isn't really a behavior, I SWEAR by my B-complex vitamins and flax seed oil supplements (or fish oil, if you're not veggie like me). They don't cure anxiety by any means, but if I take them religiously, I definitely notice that I feel much better (and if I forget to take them for a week or so, I definitely feel worse).
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 03:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlekParker
Quote:
Originally Posted by suncowiam
When a negative thought comes into my mind, I immediately stop it with an internal "NO!" I then rethink the situation by doing the following:
* Describe the situation. Describe the fear or anger...

* Listen to each of my internal voices about the situation: the playful child, the fearful child, the nurturing parent, and the critical parent. A description of each of these individual:
Playful child: The side of you that wants to have fun.
Fearful child: The side of you that is scared of certain situations or the unknown.
Nurturing Parent: The side of you that forgives yourself in most-all situations.
Critical Parent: The side of you that expects results.

* Then let my adult rationally decide what I should do from the internal discussion.
The adult is your decision maker. He/She is the one that will carefully listen to all your internal arguments and can best make a decision rationally.

Sometimes, one of your internal voices will over-control the situation and it's up to your adult to balance the discussion. I know this sounds like a lot to do in certain situations but with practice it gets easier and easier...

This was part of my therapy and it had helped me. Personally, it's mostly a struggle with my critical parent cuz I have these unfair expectations of myself.
How has this reframming been for you? How long have you been practicing it?

Also, how do you go through this in a social situation? My mind is very ADD and goes all over the place or else goes blank often when i'm in a high anxiety social situation, so i was wondering how you can focus on this...
I totally know what you mean. I think I'm a bit ADD also but have not been diagnosed so I don't know.

Overall, this has been helpful when I do practice it. Social situations can move pretty fast so I don't get to practice this at the moment but if there's a break or when it's over, I immediately go into this routine. It is getting easier for me to do.

I've been doing this on and off for the last year. More so now these days. I was using the clearing the mind practiced in meditation which also has been useful but found that I'm not really reinforcing my negative thoughts with positive ones. I'm just clearing it temporarily until another situation comes along.
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:29 PM
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I guess you just have to keep practicng these CBT techniques over and over until you internalize them. I think a lot of times we will read a book on SA and find a good technique but quit using it too soon because we're looking for a quick fix. Quick fixing is just avoiding the problems. We have to really rethink the way we think...

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...p-therapy-357/
Online Cognitive Behavioral Group Therapy (CBT) - Join if interested in Overcoming SA
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlekParker
I guess you just have to keep practicng these CBT techniques over and over until you internalize them. I think a lot of times we will read a book on SA and find a good technique but quit using it too soon because we're looking for a quick fix. Quick fixing is just avoiding the problems. We have to really rethink the way we think...
I totally agree with you.

After 2 years of my on and off practicing, I can say I have much more to come. Then again, I go through ups and downs, and only during the downs, do I practice.

Overall though, things have been getting better. I can speak up in meetings and other situations now.
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