What's your one unique SA quirk? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 41 (permalink) Old 12-23-2020, 04:05 PM
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Oh gosh, I do the exact same thing it ends up being so embarrassing, especially when I think that the person notices or is distances themselves from me because of it. Oh god, it's a big relief to know that it's not just me that gets this way from anxiety. Thanks for posting this.

Yea, I often feel like an undisciplined, hyperactive golden retriever puppy jumping all over someone when I talk. I'm just like all over the place and can't really control my cadence that well. It's sort of like I have 100 words to say and I'm trying to say all 100 of them at once (or as quickly as possible) so I can just get to the not talking part of the conversation LOL. Ah man, FML.

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Someone's always breaking in accidentally
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post #22 of 41 (permalink) Old 12-26-2020, 06:06 PM
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Sitting next to certain coworkers causes me to feel very uncomfortable. I feel tense, have racing thoughts and I keep having this weird thing where I watch them out of the corner of my eyes, despite trying to NOT look at them. Let’s see... what else... if people see my face in profile it makes me feel awkward because I think my nose is ugly. Also, walking towards people on a sidewalk or nature trail, I never know what to do (if anything).
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post #23 of 41 (permalink) Old 12-26-2020, 08:01 PM
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Mostly, expectations of carrying on a conversation when I'm not in right frame of mind to do so. I think it is probably worse with women, even if I'm not really attracted to the one I'm speaking with. I seem to stumble on my words or do something to grind it to a halt out of habit. It is really a dull way of going through life-missing out on all sorts of stuff because I don't communicate all that well. I'm somewhat more at ease doing public speaking and teaching since I seem to know what I'm doing and don't need to diverge much from what I know I'm going to say.
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post #24 of 41 (permalink) Old 12-26-2020, 09:44 PM
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I can be anxious/self-conscious and manic/grandiose at exactly the same time.

It's a very strange feeling - you can be walking through a department store feeling slightly self-conscious, but at the same time wondering why everyone isn't staring at you.
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post #25 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-01-2021, 10:07 PM
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It seems my SA goes away when I’m angry even in situations where I would normally have SA if I was in a good mood.
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post #26 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-02-2021, 09:09 AM
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Sitting next to certain coworkers causes me to feel very uncomfortable. I feel tense, have racing thoughts and I keep having this weird thing where I watch them out of the corner of my eyes, despite trying to NOT look at them. Let’s see... what else... if people see my face in profile it makes me feel awkward because I think my nose is ugly. Also, walking towards people on a sidewalk or nature trail, I never know what to do (if anything).
I can totally relate to the last one. I never know what to do either - do you say 'Hi', do you make eye contact, do you not look at them, do you look down? What do normal people do lol?

I do a lot of hiking and thought this video about the awkward 5 second interactions you have with people as you walk by them was pretty funny.


You live up in your head
Scared of every little noise
Someone's always breaking in accidentally
Using nothing but their voice
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post #27 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-05-2021, 08:51 PM
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Sitting next to certain coworkers causes me to feel very uncomfortable. I feel tense, have racing thoughts and I keep having this weird thing where I watch them out of the corner of my eyes, despite trying to NOT look at them. Let’s see... what else... if people see my face in profile it makes me feel awkward because I think my nose is ugly. Also, walking towards people on a sidewalk or nature trail, I never know what to do (if anything).
I can totally relate to the last one. I never know what to do either - do you say 'Hi', do you make eye contact, do you not look at them, do you look down? What do normal people do lol?

I do a lot of hiking and thought this video about the awkward 5 second interactions you have with people as you walk by them was pretty funny.

Good vid, thank you for sharing.

Oh yeah passing strangers is awkward. Did you know that in some other countries strangers do not acknowledge each other and it’s normal?
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post #28 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-05-2021, 09:09 PM
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one?


when i do have (unwanted) interactions with people my response is autopilot. either laugh, probably completely inappropriately, or say something so they will go away. i can't think in that moment so my answers aren't always true.

I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples. ― Mother Teresa
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post #29 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-06-2021, 12:38 AM
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Bad at saying good byes (ones where I'm unlikely to see the applicable individuals again).

Had a job I worked for a year and a half in college. On my very last day, I never told anyone it was my last day. The one very nice latino girl coworker I had, I was probably the closest to her of all coworkers, like my big sister of that workplace. I remember really wanting to tell her this is my last day there, but couldn't bring the heart to tell her. I just made sure to have one final chit chat with her before clocking out one final time. We chatted for like a good 20mins before I said "see you next week." And I never returned of course. To this day, I still wondered what she thought of me when she realized it was my last day and I intentionally never told her.

What goes up, will inevitably come back down. Whoever you have to step on when you go up, you will be at their mercy when you go down.

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Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #30 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-06-2021, 03:16 AM
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I don't know that it's quirky, but I absolutely hate going to other people's houses for get-togethers. I absolutely hate being late for anything, so I always end up being there way too early. It always stresses me out and sets the wrong tone for the whole thing. I usually end up cancelling at the last minute.
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post #31 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-06-2021, 01:22 PM Thread Starter
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Bad at saying good byes (ones where I'm unlikely to see the applicable individuals again).
Yep, can definitely relate to that. Whenever I'm leaving somewhere for good, even if it was a job where I hated it and everybody there, I always turn into a teary-eyed mess and get all emotional about it. It's like the idea that I'm never going to be there again, the idea of "forever", is just too big for my brain to comprehend. And, of course, the default state for my brain when it doesn't know how to deal with something is "tears".
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post #32 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-06-2021, 05:51 PM
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Oh yeah passing strangers is awkward. Did you know that in some other countries strangers do not acknowledge each other and it’s normal?

I feel like here in the US it depends on your physical proximity. Like if you're on a really wide sidewalk or trail and you pass by each other you don't have to acknowledge them. But if its really narrow somehow that proximity forces you to recognize them in some way by saying hi or nodding or something. Like all of a sudden there is an intimacy there because you are in each other's space and it requires an acknowledgement of that or else its weird. But the problem is figuring out when exactly you've entered that realm and when there is sufficient distance that you don't have to say anything.

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post #33 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-14-2021, 03:15 PM Thread Starter
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I feel like here in the US it depends on your physical proximity. Like if you're on a really wide sidewalk or trail and you pass by each other you don't have to acknowledge them. But if its really narrow somehow that proximity forces you to recognize them in some way by saying hi or nodding or something. Like all of a sudden there is an intimacy there because you are in each other's space and it requires an acknowledgement of that or else its weird. But the problem is figuring out when exactly you've entered that realm and when there is sufficient distance that you don't have to say anything.
Maybe it's me overthinking things as per usual, but I also feel like it depends on where specifically you are. Like, if you're in a busier place where you pass by, say, five people in 30 minutes, it wouldn't necessarily be expected of you to acknowledge every single one. But if you're taking a walk on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere and you see maybe one person in an hour, it probably would be normal to say hi.
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post #34 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-14-2021, 03:20 PM
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I think a lot of it comes down to mutual eye gaze... For example if someone wants to keep themself to themself they will look down or away not to make mutual eye contact. It sort of sends the vibes out of "I want to be left alone/in peace". No doubt we have all done this at some point in our lives, so we can all appreciate when someone wants some me time etc. Hope this helps

These are just my thoughts/opinions, I am not a Doctor/Health Professional etc. so please draw your own conclusions.
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post #35 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-14-2021, 03:26 PM
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Hearing my name from someone I don't normally talk to/know/enjoy talking to kinda puts me on edge. Idk exactly why.
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post #36 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-14-2021, 04:12 PM
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I barely have any anxiety when i'm on my bike and music is playing in earbuds. I fade into my own world and i'm not anxious at all in public or near cars etc. I mean sometimes i am if someone laughs at me etc but in a normal situation i have zero anxiety.

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Ummmm. If I am in a vehicle at night in a relatively public place, I hate if someone turns on the overhead dome light and lights up the car cabin like a fishbowl. I feel like everyone is staring at me.
Wow, I hate that too so much for the same reason.

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If I eat with people I've just met, I order finger food. It's easy to eat.
You know, that's smart. I'm gonna remember that next time i go out to eat with my family someplace.

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It seems my SA goes away when I’m angry even in situations where I would normally have SA if I was in a good mood.
I'm way less anxious when i'm angry too.

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I'd feel mildly uncomfortable sitting anywhere in public too if I'm alone. There's always the slim possibility someone will come up to you. Though if the bench is really out of the way I wouldn't.
one thing i really hate is when you're sitting alone and there's obviously a lot of space everywhere but someone decides to come and sit close to you!! Holy molly i hate that and i get huge surges of anxiety and it feels rude to get up and go sit somwehre else so i usually sit there for a few more minutes and leave like ive got somewhere to go

I guess that's not very unique to sa though. I imagine most people hate that haha.

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post #37 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-14-2021, 05:34 PM
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Maybe it's me overthinking things as per usual, but I also feel like it depends on where specifically you are. Like, if you're in a busier place where you pass by, say, five people in 30 minutes, it wouldn't necessarily be expected of you to acknowledge every single one. But if you're taking a walk on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere and you see maybe one person in an hour, it probably would be normal to say hi.

Yea I think the location definitely plays a role. Like in the city during lunch hour you probably don't have to say anything. But on hiking trails for instance, it kind of trail etiquette to always acknowledge the other person, even if its a busy day and there are a ton of other people on the trail. I think it depends on if its a leisure activity or if people are busy out doing their errands etc.

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post #38 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-14-2021, 05:58 PM
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Hearing my name from someone I don't normally talk to/know/enjoy talking to kinda puts me on edge. Idk exactly why.

Could it be pressure, making you create a expectation of yourself, that you aren't sure you can fulfill? I think this links to a "how we think of ourselves" situation. If we are confident in ourselves, it wouldn't bother us. If we have uncertainties etc. they will come to the forefront together with a expectation of ourselves. Perhaps in this situation the answer might be to build a realistic expectation, and that way we can be true to ourselves. Keeping things simple should help to keep ourselves less stressed and less anxious. More importantly what do you think?

These are just my thoughts/opinions, I am not a Doctor/Health Professional etc. so please draw your own conclusions.
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post #39 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-14-2021, 06:14 PM
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one thing i really hate is when you're sitting alone and there's obviously a lot of space everywhere but someone decides to come and sit close to you!! Holy molly i hate that and i get huge surges of anxiety and it feels rude to get up and go sit somwehre else so i usually sit there for a few more minutes and leave like ive got somewhere to go
I think this might have happened to me before, but it's been a while. Usually either there's no space or people will sit quite apart here but yeah I wouldn't want to move then either lol.

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post #40 of 41 (permalink) Old 01-14-2021, 06:24 PM
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I think this might have happened to me before, but it's been a while. Usually either there's no space or people will sit quite apart here but yeah I wouldn't want to move then either lol.

I think it's common courtesy not to move straight away (so as not to offend). Thing is if I look back in my school days people would purposely not want to sit next to me, so in my later years it's kinda refreshing when someone does... Perhaps they like me

These are just my thoughts/opinions, I am not a Doctor/Health Professional etc. so please draw your own conclusions.
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