What's your one unique SA quirk? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-16-2020, 11:39 AM Thread Starter
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What's your one unique SA quirk?


So we all know there are certain things that people with social anxiety disorder tend to be afraid of in general: things like talking on the phone, eating in front of other people, having to interact with strangers, etcetera.
But what I'm curious to know is: what's something that triggers your social anxiety that is unique to you? Something that other people with SAD wouldn't necessarily be afraid of?

For instance, I hate sitting on park benches. Why? Who knows? There's just some sort of odd feeling of vulnerability my brain has around that. I've never heard anyone else with social anxiety say they don't like sitting on park benches.

Do you guys have any quirks like that? Any odd thing that triggers your social anxiety that you think is fairly unique to you?

(Apologies if I posted this in the wrong place, there wasn't a real obvious home for it )
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post #2 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-16-2020, 02:21 PM
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I'd feel mildly uncomfortable sitting anywhere in public too if I'm alone. There's always the slim possibility someone will come up to you. Though if the bench is really out of the way I wouldn't.

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post #3 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-16-2020, 02:59 PM
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Nothing out of the ordinary I guess, I have trouble eating in front of others, or even dealing with cashiers in shops sometimes, writing/talking in front of others, especially strangers or people in authority, having shaky hands in those situations is the biggest issue because then it's visible & embarrassing which leads to a vicious thought spiral of more & makes you want to not go back to where that happened.






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post #4 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-16-2020, 06:51 PM
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I doubt there's anything about anyone that is entirely unique to them.

Ummmm. If I am in a vehicle at night in a relatively public place, I hate if someone turns on the overhead dome light and lights up the car cabin like a fishbowl. I feel like everyone is staring at me.

/WYSD
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post #5 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-16-2020, 07:36 PM
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I've always had a strong aversion to public toilets, especially when I have to poo. I have a hard time going if there's anyone nearby, like in the next stall or at the sink or whatever. Although I think this is more due to coprophobia and generalized anxiety more than social anxiety.

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post #6 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-16-2020, 08:06 PM
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Mostly the usual things. I really hate it when people look over my shoulder.

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post #7 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-16-2020, 08:19 PM
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Eating in front of other people. Makes me anxious.

If I eat with people I've just met, I order finger food. It's easy to eat.
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post #8 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-19-2020, 01:41 PM
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not being able to work a customer facing job i.e retail or hospitality


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post #9 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-19-2020, 01:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tetragammon View Post
I've always had a strong aversion to public toilets, especially when I have to poo. I have a hard time going if there's anyone nearby, like in the next stall or at the sink or whatever. Although I think this is more due to coprophobia and generalized anxiety more than social anxiety.
I don't know. I don't think that's really an SA thing. I can't really imagine anyone in their right mind consciously choosing to take a dump 3 feet away from someone else who is also taking a dump. It's probably the kind of thing people only do if they are desperate.

I don't like to use public restrooms either though. At all.

/WYSD
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post #10 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-19-2020, 02:34 PM
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I'm the same, I don't like sitting on park benches or anywhere close to people. I can tell they think I might be a threat to them which triggers very negative self feelings in me and even more aversion towards my fellow human beings. So sitting in the park anywhere close to strangers is challenging.

I also feel very uncomfortable walking towards people on the same footpath or when I'm crossing the road. They watch me very closely the fear evident on their faces and in their body language, believing I might be coming to attack them. Its all very triggering for me and my list can go on and on and on... You think people with SA are the only scared ones. I see it in most people every day.

Racism and discrimination narrow minded people challenge me/my social phobia every single day. And sometimes I have to say something to them in order to be able to live with myself. It has sickened me to my very soul but I've become better at ignoring people or managing my own feelings better.

Thank you.

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post #11 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-19-2020, 02:57 PM
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I talk more when I'm anxious. For some reason when I'm nervous I blather on twice as much as when I'm calm. You would think I'd be quieter when I'm anxious but for some reason I feel compelled to talk, and to talk more than is necessary. I'll often repeat the same thought or idea two or three times over. Part of the problem I think is I have a hard time summing up my thoughts or seguing into something else or signaling for the other person to talk so instead I just keep rambling on like a fool.

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post #12 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-19-2020, 03:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
I doubt there's anything about anyone that is entirely unique to them.

Ummmm. If I am in a vehicle at night in a relatively public place, I hate if someone turns on the overhead dome light and lights up the car cabin like a fishbowl. I feel like everyone is staring at me.

I hate just being in a car with anyone else. I get very uncomfortable. I think it's because it's a confined space and I feel trapped.


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Originally Posted by Cool Ice Dude55 View Post
not being able to work a customer facing job i.e retail or hospitality

Sort of the same deal for me but what's weird with me is that I'm OK with customer-facing jobs if they are in person, like retail or something. But I freak out when I have to do customer-facing stuff over the phone which sometimes I have to do for my job. It should be the opposite, on the phone no one can see you so you are sort of incognito so should be less pressure. But, like I said to Dave above, I think it has to do with feeling "trapped." In person I can sort of like look around, walk around, move, use my arms to gesture which takes the pressure off. On the phone its just you and this other person and your voices and there is no way out and nothing to relieve the pressure of that situation.

You live up in your head
Scared of every little noise
Someone's always breaking in accidentally
Using nothing but their voice
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post #13 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-20-2020, 04:29 AM
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Walking alone outside. I've always hated it for some reason. Maybe I don't like the openness or how people can watch you. Post-anxiety, it became bad. Pre-anxiety, I felt fine outdoors.
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post #14 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-20-2020, 04:59 AM
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Speaking in front of a small audience was never a problem for me, even at my worst.
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post #15 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-20-2020, 05:32 AM
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Playing games with strangers and talking to them, i like video games, i can play online, and sometimes people ask me to become friends with them, but the idea of picking a headset and talking to them as i am playing or randomly through a console just feels more weird to me than talking on a phone or to random strangers on the street.

But people seem quite willing to just play with strangers and have chats, heck, even on places for friendless people they all seem to have no trouble putting their online ID's and asking people for a chat, don't know why the idea of headset online gaming scares me though.

Just here to talk about stuff i guess.
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post #16 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-20-2020, 07:11 AM
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when someone says "hi", I will say "hi, hi" to make the conversation longer? IdK haha
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post #17 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-20-2020, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks for all the responses, guys! It's so funny sometimes how we can think sometimes is just us, but then twenty other people chime in like, "Hey, I know that feeling too!"
I thought of another thing: whenever I have to go somewhere or do something that's stressful, I'll sometimes park a mile away or so and walk there. I think the walking gives my brain time to mentally prepare for whatever it is, puts me on autopilot so to speak so that I can get a good twenty minutes in of worrying and ruminating before I have to actually Do The Thing. If I just park right outside the location and hop out of the car, I feel like I'm "not prepared" or whatever. I tend to do this even when the weather is awful lol. Anybody else do that?
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post #18 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-20-2020, 07:07 PM
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I can't play online multiplayer. If anyone approaches me or tries to talk to me in the game I panic and run away or quit the game. I gave up trying to play games like that years ago.

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post #19 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-20-2020, 10:08 PM
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I can't play online multiplayer. If anyone approaches me or tries to talk to me in the game I panic and run away or quit the game. I gave up trying to play games like that years ago.
Same here. If by "quirk" with SA, one means something atypical for it, I guess that's the closest one I'd consider because I've seen most individuals with SA actually claim that online multiplayer games help them feel more comfortable and like themselves. Many times I've tried playing a few only to close out of them the first few seconds after having my character publicly spawn anywhere. It imitates real life for me too much, so I end up panicking and feeling the exact same SA as I would IRL.

I would also try to avoid running into even people that I was good friends with. There was a guy in high school that I would see numerous times while walking to class, but for some reason after awhile I started feeling SA about greeting him as well and would try to take the long way, going around the whole school, just so I wouldn't run into him. Not sure if it was SA-related, but my lack of eye contact also got so bad at one point that I even stopped being able to look at my best friend from high school's or my family's eyes.



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post #20 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-23-2020, 09:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by either/or View Post
I talk more when I'm anxious. For some reason when I'm nervous I blather on twice as much as when I'm calm. You would think I'd be quieter when I'm anxious but for some reason I feel compelled to talk, and to talk more than is necessary. I'll often repeat the same thought or idea two or three times over. Part of the problem I think is I have a hard time summing up my thoughts or seguing into something else or signaling for the other person to talk so instead I just keep rambling on like a fool.
Oh gosh, I do the exact same thing it ends up being so embarrassing, especially when I think that the person notices or is distances themselves from me because of it. Oh god, it's a big relief to know that it's not just me that gets this way from anxiety. Thanks for posting this.

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