What's the most embarrassing thing you ever did to fit in? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-26-2020, 05:09 AM Thread Starter
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What's the most embarrassing thing you ever did to fit in?

I don't think I've done anything to fit in recently but when I was a teenager I did all kinds of embarrassing (to me, anyway) things that I knew would help me fit in.

Ummm. When I was about 16 I begged my parents for Air Jordans because I knew all the other kids wanted them. I didn't even like basketball so it was just social desperation. It did work but it's kinda icky thinking back on it now.
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-26-2020, 11:30 AM
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It wasn't really to "fit in" since nobody saw what I did but me, but after a classmate festooned with band-themed pins gave me this "WTF, are you completely stupid??" look when I admitted I didn't know the names of the New Kids On The Block (Eighties boy band, pretty much the Backstreet Boys of their time), I briefly tried to educate myself so I'd be more "in touch." I bought a bunch of those dumb teen girl mags with the latest boy heartthrobs on the front, stuck NKOTB posters on my walls, learned the members' names, and even picked a "favorite" (the one I found cutest...I didn't really know or care to know about their personal lives).

This phase lasted maybe a few weeks, I honestly can't remember, because it was so insipid and boring I couldn't keep it up, and shortly after returned to my normal nerdy interests of writing stories about talking animals and ancient Egyptian mythology. To this day I still do not understand other people's, especially women's, fascination with/adoration of celebrities. (My mother is enthralled by anything involving the British monarchy, and often laments not being able to watch awards ceremonies because we're watching other programming, and I just do not get it. What is so interesting about Harry and Meghan or endless parades of fancy-dressed actors saying thanks?? Don't get me started on "celebrity" reality shows...thank God none of us got into those. Though that makes finding new programming to watch pretty difficult since like 90% of it is crap reality programming nowadays. )

The silly thing is, back then I really liked NKOTB's music. Just didn't give a crap about them as individual celebrities. Granted, I've always been far more interested in things than in people (biographies...*snore*), so maybe that explains it.

Aside from that, the only type of "fitting in" I think I've ever tried to do is just speaking up/making my presence known...never worked because even the few people who say they're into the same things I am would rather chat about everyday stuff, not our niche interests. And a few times people have been offended by my writing interests (e. g., American Indian mythology, Satanic cults, anthro fiction) without even reading any of it. (Thus the slews of disclaimers I put on everything.) So that was always pretty embarrassing and discouraging. More often than not if I wasn't being made fun of for my communication style I was just completely ignored, so I stopped trying to fit in anywhere. Even here I suspect most of my posts are skipped over because they're wordy/boring and people can't relate.

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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-26-2020, 12:28 PM Thread Starter
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I think I also forced myself to watch football games so I'd know what the other kids were talking about. I tried to pretend I was enjoying it just so my parents wouldn't wonder why the hell I was watching it if I didn't like it.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-26-2020, 06:46 PM
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I don't think I did anything that embarrassing to fit in. I just never did and I knew it, so didn't really try. I was the weird loner kid throughout primary school who ate and played by herself at recess, and was also always alone in high school - always struggled to find a partner for projects, had to be tacked onto another duo as an extra, and went home for lunch because I didn't have anyone to sit with. This kind of thing followed me into adulthood but people care less about that now.

There's something refreshing in self-awareness and dropping shame and pride. No one else is as blind as your self-denial after all.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-27-2020, 12:55 PM
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I spent most of my life in the closet, but I didn't do that to fit in, per se. I did it to protect myself. I've always been pretty open about my weird interests/opinions. I've never been the kind of person to go along with other people just because I'm afraid/embarrassed to be different. I was open about being into Dungeons & Dragons when I was in school, even though everyone made fun of me (it was super uncool in the 80s/90s). I openly listened to bands that almost nobody else at my school listened to (and openly criticized the popular bands that I didn't like). I dressed like a weirdo on purpose because I was trying to find ways to express myself that wouldn't involve outing myself. Everybody knew I hated sports and wasn't any good at them (the jocks really hated me, lol). I've just never really cared about fitting in (though I'd like to pass for reasons of safety). I was so infamous at my school that one of my teachers dressed up like me on Halloween one year. (True story.) There are certain things that I won't tell people, though, simply because I don't think they'll understand. That's more about sparing their feelings than about avoiding embarrassment, though.

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-27-2020, 01:11 PM
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Went to an underage teenage disco when I was 16, a neighbour kid & my cousin made me go to try & get me to be sociable with other people my age I guess "be normal", anyway I didn't wear my glasses cause I wanted to seem less geeky I guess, so I was semi blind.

It was really dark inside aswell, which didn't help, my cousin made me dance at which I was really bad at, I just jumped up & down for like an hour, it was a truly horrific experience & I never went to another disco again :-)

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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-27-2020, 02:46 PM
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I was always bad at faking it when it came to fitting in.

There were a couple of weeks during the beginning of freshman year where I had a small group to sit and talk with. As soon as it was obvious to all of us that it wouldn't work out, I ate alone then fled to the library to pass the remainder of the lunch period.

Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
I think I also forced myself to watch football games so I'd know what the other kids were talking about. I tried to pretend I was enjoying it just so my parents wouldn't wonder why the hell I was watching it if I didn't like it.
My grandparents came over once and we were all sitting down in front of the television. I never watch American TV so I just flipped through the channels and stopped on a basketball game since that's what I thought was normal. My grandparents were surprised at what I had chosen! I kept watching intently not because I was interested but because I thought I might learn what drew other people to the game. Slam dunks maybe? I bet I could appreciate the sport more if I played it myself and was aware of the strategies that were used. Otherwise it is the same as a baby looking at a newspaper!

At the same time I think sports anime is good - but only because it is story based. Some sports movies are okay too.

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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-27-2020, 03:13 PM
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Listened to and pretended I liked hip-hop. Did that in jr high. Mainly because at the time I didn't really like music period but felt like as a teenager (and not a little kid anymore) you were supposed to be into it. Hip-hop was what everyone else listened to so I followed suit. I wasn't until about 10th grade that I started to really get into music and when I did it was various genres of rock.

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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-29-2020, 01:13 PM
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When I was a teenager, I was what I'd call a Try-Hard. I tried so hard. I can't think of specific examples but I always found myself being in situations where people would end up laughing at me. The ones I hated were the ones that involved a girl I liked.

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