what kind of looks do you get? - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 06:21 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Musicfan View Post
I remembered when I used to go for walks at the beach, some of the women would cross the street or path when they'd see me coming and they'd look at me like I had some evil motive. The homeless people would turn and watch me and point at me when I walked past them. Some of them would spit at me too. I stopped walking down there for these reasons. Also I don't really walk around my street anymore because the neighbors ignore me when I waved or tried talking to them. People act like I'm bad news. I'm 6ft white with a shaved head and tend to wear black. So I do wonder what's going on in people's heads when they see me.
I get what you mean about avoiding places, I have tried smiling at people, I would like to do it more but it's difficult for me, I get the feeling people would respond the same way. its very difficult for me to break my resistance to actually doing this. my smile is more like a reluctant smile as I know they are judging me. I am so caught up in the moments when they are approaching in thinking about how I come across and whether they are thinking bad thoughts about me, my posture, imposing size and gait. every time I notice a person walking towards me, when me and them are the only people in the area, I worry about them scrutinizing me. it feels like everyone does.
I wonder how many other guys who fit our description get the same reaction? most normies of course wouldn't probably care as much about their perception to our extent but I doubt it goes unnoticed. reminds me of this image I saw a while back;



same person, doctor by profession and next to it his usual attire. it seems that tattoos are another thing which end up causing people to judge them badly.



it's a similar situation. guy who looks big and mean and has a lot of negative perceptions made about him on the basis of how he looks.

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post #42 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 12:33 PM
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I'm getting a rapey vibe from the old guy in the beanie.
That's a very strange and horrible thing to say - even for you, and for this forum.

You're going to stop typing things like that.

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post #43 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 12:35 PM
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I don't know about looks - but I sometimes wish I could meet some of you just so I could smash your heads together.

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post #44 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 12:36 PM
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blank looks today

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post #45 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 12:37 PM
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I don't know about looks - but I sometimes wish I could meet some of you just so I could smash your heads together.
whose head would you smash with mine? or I mean whose head would you smash mine with?

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post #46 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 12:41 PM
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whose head would you smash with mine? or I mean whose head would you smash mine with?
You used to annoy me - but you also show signs of intelligence and sensitivity. (sometimes)

I wouldn't want to hurt you.

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post #47 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 12:50 PM
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You used to annoy me - but you also show signs of intelligence and sensitivity. (sometimes)

I wouldn't want to hurt you.
lol I'll have to try harder. probably because I haven't been posting much. I actually thought I have been more annoying than usual for the last while. haven't been posting anything of substance that I can recall.

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post #48 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 01:27 PM
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That's a very strange and horrible thing to say - even for you, and for this forum.

You're going to stop typing things like that.
.. I thought you'd blocked me : /... I kinda have a sarcastic dark sense of humor, I sometimes think its better to talk about a dark subject in a humorous way than pretend it doesn't exist, it might help someone suffering in silence to open up easier etc.






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post #49 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 01:37 PM
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The second guy in OP's post looks like he's giving "come hither" eyes haha.

I genuinely dont look at people long enough to know. I hate eye contact. I generally feel like people are sneering at me.


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post #50 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 02:54 PM
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I get what you mean about avoiding places, I have tried smiling at people, I would like to do it more but it's difficult for me, I get the feeling people would respond the same way. its very difficult for me to break my resistance to actually doing this. my smile is more like a reluctant smile as I know they are judging me. I am so caught up in the moments when they are approaching in thinking about how I come across and whether they are thinking bad thoughts about me, my posture, imposing size and gait. every time I notice a person walking towards me, when me and them are the only people in the area, I worry about them scrutinizing me. it feels like everyone does.
I wonder how many other guys who fit our description get the same reaction? most normies of course wouldn't probably care as much about their perception to our extent but I doubt it goes unnoticed. reminds me of this image I saw a while back;



same person, doctor by profession and next to it his usual attire. it seems that tattoos are another thing which end up causing people to judge them badly.



it's a similar situation. guy who looks big and mean and has a lot of negative perceptions made about him on the basis of how he looks.
Yea there is a bank I avoid going to because the tellers look uncomfortable around me. I think normal people brush these things off but when you have to deal with it often it can get to you. I tried dressing better for a while like wearing flannel jackets or sweaters to look a little more sophisticated but it didn't improve things. So I figure its probably the face and my body language.

Also tried smiling but I think I look weird when I do but it is nice when someone smiles back and means it. People tend to mind their own business so smiling at people can be a hit or a miss. Those pictures above do give a contrast. I think tattooed biker types deal with dirty looks often but then the ones with really outgoing personalities don't care and just are confident being themselves. I wish it were as easy as flipping a switch and not caring what others think but we here with SA do have to suffer with that concern.

You seem like a normal guy from what you write so I'm sorry that you and others have to deal with dirty looks and people being judgemental.

[Everyone disliked that.]
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post #51 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 09:18 PM
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Mostly bored or spaced out looks. Unless they know me, then people typically attempt a smile but I don't see it that often because I have a problem with eye contact.

That's where the pain comes in
Like a second skeleton
Trying to fit beneath the skin
I can't fit the feelings in

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post #52 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 09:49 PM
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At stores, I just get people ready to run me right over. Like I'm invisible or something.
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I've also had people practically run right into me. I was in the grocery store yesterday and this woman was standing right in my way and acted like she didn't see me. Even after I said "excuse me" she didn't move, and I had to maneuver my way around her. So, I mostly get ignored too.
That's a pretty normal occurrence for me too. Do you also experience the same treatment from customer service representatives and waiters? Like you enter an establishment to either return something or order something and they ignore you/ take longer to acknowledge your presence? And when they finally acknowledge your presence you get the impression that they don't take you as serious as the other of the customers?

On a more personal level (as when I have one to one conversations ) I usually get pity looks:











It's not that I make up people feel down right uncomfortable, scared or angry. I make them sad.

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post #53 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 02:03 AM
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.. I thought you'd blocked me : /... I kinda have a sarcastic dark sense of humor, I sometimes think its better to talk about a dark subject in a humorous way than pretend it doesn't exist, it might help someone suffering in silence to open up easier etc.
Yeah, I'm sure joking about rape is something that is sure to help a lot of people on here.

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post #54 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 02:42 AM
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I think that I am a very kind person and I have a kind look.
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post #55 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 03:03 AM
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post #56 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 08:07 AM
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Yeah, I'm sure joking about rape is something that is sure to help a lot of people on here.
Do you find it more helpful to tell people that you'd like to "strangle them with your bare hands" or "smash their heads together"?

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post #57 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 08:51 AM
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Do you find it more helpful to tell people that you'd like to "strangle them with your bare hands" or "smash their heads together"?

/WYSD
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post #58 of 58 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 01:13 PM
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I'm getting strangly & smashy vibes






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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