what kind of looks do you get? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 01:48 AM Thread Starter
pls don't eat bats, thnx
 
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what kind of looks do you get?


these are pretty common ones for me;












it's depressing and demotivating when you go out in a relatively confident mood only to have that confidence robbed from you because of how people look at you.

I like donuts
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post #2 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 01:58 AM
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Why do people look at you like that mate - that's terrible.

(hope you're doing okay btw)
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post #3 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 02:12 AM Thread Starter
pls don't eat bats, thnx
 
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Why do people look at you like that mate - that's terrible.

(hope you're doing okay btw)
thanks mate. yea that's what I have tried to convey on here before, how people look at me. it's a big factor in my social anxiety is how I am perceived. I suspect it has something to do with an unfortunate combination of looks and other things in my outer personality.
my size is big, over 6 foot and a bit overweight at the moment. I have a shaved head (currently a buzzcut as I am balding) I have to keep it short because of male pattern baldness if I want to look tidy. and I typically dress using colours that reflect my mood, blacks or dark colours. so I basically look like a henchman or villain. but it's also my personality too, I am not particularly refined, I am clumsy I can come across as a bit of a thoughtless oaf. I tend to put my head down, usually a confidence thing and I am a loner. I have had to deal with suspicion from others all my life. I have got it from neighbours for most of my adult years, people always seem to be watching and scrutinizing me. sometimes life can feel like I am walking around with a sentence for committing a crime, it gets me angry and depressed.

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post #4 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 02:21 AM
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thanks mate. yea that's what I have tried to convey on here before, how people look at me. it's a big factor in my social anxiety is how I am perceived. I suspect it has something to do with an unfortunate combination of looks and other things in my outer personality.
my size is big, over 6 foot and a bit overweight at the moment. I have a shaved head (currently a buzzcut as I am balding) I have to keep it short because of male pattern baldness if I want to look tidy. and I typically dress using colours that reflect my mood, blacks or dark colours. so I basically look like a henchman or villain. but it's also my personality too, I am not particularly refined, I am clumsy I can come across as a bit of a thoughtless oaf. I tend to put my head down, usually a confidence thing and I am a loner. I have had to deal with suspicion from others all my life. I have got it from neighbours for most of my adult years, people always seem to be watching and scrutinizing me. sometimes life can feel like I am walking around with a sentence for committing a crime, it gets me angry and depressed.
Sorry to hear that mate. I think I've seen other people mention a similar thing on here.

I've noticed people tend to reflect the way we feel about ourselves - to some extent anyway. I know when I used to be addicted to the Xanax (plus I suspect I was also manic at the time) I would be very over-confident and even something as simple as walking into a supermarket people would step back out of my way. Not out of fear or anything - but they would just give way. It was weird. I'd say the opposite is probably also true.

Nowadays I sort of know how I'm feeling more and try to control it. I tend to walk around or sit on the trams with a half-smile on my face - and if anything people tend to smile at me in return. (they're probably thinking what the hell is this dick-head smiling at though)
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post #5 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 02:56 AM
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I never really notice because I mostly avoid looking at people.

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post #6 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 03:26 AM
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I'm getting a rapey vibe from the old guy in the beanie.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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post #7 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 03:30 AM
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Can't really say I've noticed. I generally don't look at people for long enough to elicit a reactionary glance.

/WYSD
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post #8 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 03:33 AM
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I'm getting a rapey vibe from the old guy in the beanie.
I think he looks like that old man on the Gorton's Fish Sticks box.

/WYSD
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post #9 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 04:13 AM
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Defensive wariness or a mild sneer of disgust or contempt seem to be the main ones. I get the first more from people on the street, the latter more from service people. If I see someone regularly and I'm consistently friendly and smile a lot some of them warm up a little and enter the zone of the polite but largely indifferent.

I expect reactions to get worse as I work my way through my transition.

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post #10 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 05:52 AM
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These


These bring me down the most... and it's always AFTER I try to be normal or just social:





Tried to find more with the exact expression but I couldn't. It's just a real awkward face... and it hurts to to see people make it 'cause of me.

If it's anything I have talent for, It's making people awkward.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
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post #11 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 05:59 AM
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Are you sure that they are looking at you like that? I think that social anxiety and being overly vary about how people perceive can make you interpret things into peoples looks and behavior that aren't there.



I don't know if that's the case, but just putting it out there. I used to think that people were looking at me in a negative way and that strangers hated me. I still think it's really unpleasant to pass cars that are driving past me because I think that they are looking at me.



Anyway, what I do know is that people are sometimes staring at me because I am a very tall woman. Especially short men have problems with that, but they aren't always just staring. They also feel the need to comment on it.

Usually I just avoid looking at people if I'm passing by them when I'm walking somewhere.




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post #12 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 11:14 AM
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Yeah I get suspicious looks too. People trying to figure me out and they seem creeped out or fearful. Definitely not imagining things. People at stores side eye me a lot and sometimes when I get to the register the cashiers aren't friendly, like no 'hello' or 'thanks' usually they don't look at me straight. Also got this reaction a ton in high school and in my 20s when trying to talk to girls:




At one party the girls were talking how much of a creep I looked and they left, so I have literally ruined a party by just existing.
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post #13 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 11:27 AM
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I tend to interpret looks as people being uncomfortable or annoyed by my presence. I participated in a social anxiety study years ago and it seemed like that was a big thing among people with SA - misinterpreting facial expressions as something negative. Especially expressions that are not explicitly smiling.
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post #14 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 12:57 PM
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i don't get any looks

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post #15 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 01:54 PM
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Generally a dismissive look, whip their heads away and looking uncomfortable.

I'm really pissed off because this woman at work gave me a "wtf she's weird" look, even though I wasn't doing anything weird. I was trying to adjust my desk and had my back to her & could tell she turned around to watch me and was making a face & sure enough I turned around & saw her making that face. It angered me because I know she wouldn't react that way to someone else.
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post #16 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 02:41 PM
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Exclamation

frowns, scorns, grimaces from all humans 100% 24/7


no day or moment will ever be different

because i wear shorts & t-shirt AALL time all seasons.

for sake of being comfortable

age 17 leaving hometown, confident, generally same negative manner dished out to all, sarcastically, feeling supreme to all

same now
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post #17 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 04:14 PM
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At stores, I just get people ready to run me right over. Like I'm invisible or something.
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post #18 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 04:44 PM
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The casual "look away, she's kind of intense and all scared..just mind your own business" look.
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post #19 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 05:12 PM
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Nothing bad as far as I know. Except when I am trying to find a seat on a bus going home, I feel people are looking at me like:



Holy crap that's a bumpy ride!

/WYSD
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post #20 of 62 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 06:43 PM
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It depends. Maybe is my SA messing with my mind but I tend to get this "I don't trust this guy/ he is clearly up to no good." looks. But they're wrong. The intense look on my face isn't cause I'm trying to hurt anyone. Is more like I am just trying to get home (my safe place) without getting hurt myself.
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