My anxiety is pretty low these days, at least compared to when I could barely talk on a phone. I'm pretty thankful for that. I'm stressed out looking for a new job but not in panic mode about interviewing.

I’m married and on maternity leave but I extended my leave for another 7 months bc I don’t want to go back and idk if I can. Not bc of my child but bc I don’t think I can do it again. I know I could never work full time anyway.
I have no real friends, no social life, I don’t know how to have fun. I’m just hating myself lately....


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Life is...life is

Harrison, I've probably spent a couple grand the last 3 years on dental repairs because I constantly grind on my teeth throughout the day. That's just a minor effect anxiety has on me though. Are you having a better day?

Not doing well and seem to be getting worse by the day. Was doing a bit better at one point with the worrying but it is out of control again. Also feeling a lot of anger, jealousy, bitterness and also feel like I am getting paranoid, especially in public places.

Birthday just passed. I feel alone.

It's weird. The older I get the less I'm willing to tell anyone I feel this way when I do. I don't know if it's worse to hold it inside, or try to tell someone and see that they don't care much either way.

My anxiety is extremely high on days I have to leave the house. I don't do anything other than work and school. When I get home I drink and watch tv. I do nothing on free days because I lost interest in everything over the years.

Pure sh*t.

I would find working a regular job impossible nowadays too. I don't know how I did it before - I think my mental health was a lot better.

I hope things get a bit easier for you anyway.

Happy Birthday anyway.

I know what you mean - people don't understand and they have their own problems anyway I suppose. I even called Lifeline a while ago because I was so low and they were amazing. The lady I talked to was better than any of the ridiculous shrinks I've seen. Trouble is they try to get you to see another one - they don't realize what dickheads they are. I think I'll call them again one day.

Boring

Crappy

On the plus side my brother's life is going well.

It's filled with tons of anger,hopelessness and pain

Feeling a little down, and lonely... a bit jealous of other people's social success... can't seem to figure out how to have engaging conversations...

My life pretty much looks like this non stop:

i'm generally apathetic about work once I came to the realisation that because of the poverty trap i'm in, any money I earn I won't get to keep, and if I factor in travel then I might be out of pocket. there doesn't seem to be many motivating factors for me to engage with traditional work, I won't see any financial benefit, half the time when I try to help people it does no good and what is the point in contributing to society if you feel increasingly like you want no part of it? as I get older the fantasy of living alone on a self sufficient farm miles from anyone gets more enticing.
i'm trying to do hobbies as pretty much my job, it's hard to stay motivated. I like this hobby but i've lost momentum for sure. I can't really do much else, I get upset when I go out, I get hot and paranoid and angry.I don't like to be in that state. I go through periods of not wanting to even talk about whats going on in my head, then when I do I feel I have no one to speak to or I don't know how to talk about it, so I just think "what's the point? I might as well do what I always do and keep everything to myself..."

Kinda feels like Ground Hog Day.

Utter $h!%^. Like a cross between the movie Groundhog Day and the 80s American sitcom Married With Children, except more depressing and an over abundance of expletives. Not saying that as a joke, either...

Typical dysfunctional family crap. Having to listen to constant petty, stupid arguments. And I’m left dealing with the aftermath. Always, every time. No-one seem to care or take any notice of the toll it all takes on me, having to just tolerate it all. Depressed? Suicidal? Me? Nah! I’m just faking that for attention... apparently.

Don’t spare a thought for the poor [email protected]$%@_^ who grew up the male in a household of angry wimmin. But then what da f__k has being told yer useless most o’ yer life gotta do with self-esteem? Nuthin’ of course! Cuz men huv’nae got any emotions, huv they?

Music is my only true friend, as corny as that sounds, but it’s true. Even though I feel I should just give up playing my guitar, because it’s the cathartic release it used to be. Since ah don’t feel any better in myself for having spent 2 hours playing it.

Or, to put it another way: I’m surround by people who I’m forced to pretend I like being with whenever Christmas rolls around.

I'm in a very bad state and I can't open up about it, except on this site. I never would have thought years ago that I'd post such depressing things about myself on a public forum. I have a hard time enjoying anything, I have so many things to take care of to grow as a human being and I just can't see a way to improve it all, I can't think clearly, I can't find solutions and I can't talk about it, being vulnerable is not a good idea, it never is. I would break into tears anyway. I used to have more good than bad moments only because I refused to think about my future but now it's make or break time, to be honest I think I'm already past that and the only way for me is rapidly getting worse and worse.

Basically treading water. I have a lab job that I'm not really into, so job searching alongside that. Single, no social life. Still awkward around people, mind still goes blank. Quit therapy in February 2019 after 10 months. At times I've been feeling the void, so to speak.