What is your life like right now? - Page 4 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #61 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-09-2019, 05:00 PM
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Doing better. I go out more often and socialize more.
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post #62 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-09-2019, 09:06 PM
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Originally Posted by RelinquishedHell View Post
Working a job I don't care for and not feeling mentally stimulated enough.
I'm in a similar situation. I try to make sure I do stuff I enjoy outside of work to make it more bearable.
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post #63 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-10-2019, 06:46 AM
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I am also unhappy with my job situation at the moment. I have been thrown on a task I know nothing about and am very uncomfortable doing and there is plenty of work in the one task I am good at but they don’t seem interested in me doing that. My unhappiness at work has seeped into my life outside of work. Miserable at home most of the time now.


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post #64 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-10-2019, 07:42 AM
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It seemed like I was on the road to continuous improvement for quite awhile, but now that I lost my (albeit fast food) job I have gone back to feeling very uncertain and worried about the future. Right now, I've seen some improvements such as successfully completing two courses I failed twice in a row and learning more about myself, such as discovering an even bigger passion for Japanese and translating, after not having a single idea on what I want to do with my life.

I've also started dabbling in trying to teach myself programming, but otherwise my daily life is still quite shut in-like where most of my time is spent in bed or at my desk. So not much has changed, and I've gone back to having quite a reclusive and lethargic lifestyle My SA feels like it's gotten kind of worse again...I was at the library with my mom and I got scared approaching the man at the front desk for putting money in my account, just because there were a bunch of other people crowded around there.

At the very least I've figured myself out a little bit more and that has been invaluable to me. I'm just trying to self-teach myself a little each day in the hopes it gets me out of this cage. Everything is still quite depressing, but it provides a small relief knowing I found something I feel like working towards.



"So many resources keep me alive
Yet I don't even step outside
So many sacrifices keep me alive
Yet I don't even bother to survive."



"If you think we waste too much then you can sacrifice yourself
Don't push your values
Push your values
Onto the crowd."


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post #65 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-10-2019, 07:58 AM
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I'm gaining weight. I think that sometimes I use food as a painkiller. If something pissed me off or made me feel bad, I use that as an excuse to overeat.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #66 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-10-2019, 04:03 PM
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What do you want from life mate? What do you like doing?

I can see one thing, photography. Maybe a degree in photography or similar?



Who knows, could be some woman you are taking photo's of is you future gf. Stranger things have happened.
I don't know what I want haha. I've never really enjoyed doing much at all which is a problem. I'm not taking photos of any women haha I'll get caught hiding in the bushes
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post #67 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-10-2019, 09:02 PM
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I don't know what I want haha. I've never really enjoyed doing much at all which is a problem. I'm not taking photos of any women haha I'll get caught hiding in the bushes
Known as a bushman and walk out of bushes with clicking language.
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post #68 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-11-2019, 04:53 AM
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What do you want from life mate? What do you like doing?

I can see one thing, photography. Maybe a degree in photography or similar?



I second that, @3stacks you take beautiful pictures. You should maybe reconsider going to college/uni or looking for a job in the near future. You would have a distraction which trust me helps a lot.

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And they know one thing above all the rest
Sparkle covers evilness
Shimmer covers all the mess
Glitter covers darkness»
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post #69 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-11-2019, 05:08 PM
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I second that, @3stacks you take beautiful pictures. You should maybe reconsider going to college/uni or looking for a job in the near future. You would have a distraction which trust me helps a lot.
Thanks El diablo, I should probably do that. Just need to try and deal with my SA first
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post #70 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-11-2019, 05:23 PM
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wake up go to work, come home, make dinner, go to bed, wake up, go to work


yaddda yadda yadda
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post #71 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-11-2019, 06:25 PM
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Its going better, as been focus on keeping myself busy busy busy.

The more i am to sit around, the more i get lost in my head..... and when i get lost in my head..... its like an painful void.

So, yeah, staying out of my head too much.
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post #72 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-11-2019, 10:57 PM
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(This will be cool to look back on in a few years, makes me want to keep a journal) well right now my life is ok, I have friends and I've made some new ones recently at con, which also lead into wanting to start a new cosplay hobby (something I've wanted to do for a while but didn't have the money or time for) my job doesn't schedule me a lot so I'm trying to find a new one. I'm really trying to get out with these new friends and I'm trying to start a little game group of my own at a local bar with a few people interested. It's putting myself out there and as a leader no less, which is something I've been lacking lately. I was just sort of the person who did their own thing sometimes invited friends to do things of course but due to my poor organizational skills I was never, well, an organizer. Ive also put some initiative into advirtising my art and got a few comissions going for me which I'm thrilled about! I could be more social and I think when college comes back around in the fall the loneliness could set in, but I'm at an upward place in my life which so I hope I improve so much at getting over my shyness that college will prove better for me. But most of all I'm there to learn so if not, I can improve my friendships outside of school
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post #73 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 01:39 AM Thread Starter
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It's interesting to read everyone's replies - and I'm sorry for those of you having a rough time.

I'd say the last few years have been some of the hardest of my life. I split completely from my wife and had to move out 3 years ago. It's taken until about now to get used to it I think. At first I had no idea what to do - I think in the back of my mind I sort of thought maybe I'd go back some time . But I don't think that's going to happen this time - I don't actually think I even want to now, even if my wife wanted me to.

We did this about 12 or 13 years ago too and that was just as hard - maybe worse, because my son was only about 12 at the time. I don't actually remember why I had to leave that time, but I remember it being hard. That time lasted about 18 months then I went back to live with them again.

It's weird having spent so long with someone - I've known my wife for 30 years this year. Half my life. So it's strange trying to work out what you're going to do next.
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post #74 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 07:13 PM
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****ty! The bulk of my anxiety comes from the pieces of **** next door to me (won't go into details as it'll sound too crazy). Because it I don't listen to the same or videos I used to. It's like I'm being punished for something but I don't know what. I'm currently using natural remedies like hemp oil and black seed oil to get me through but I don't think it'll work at least not in the foreseeable future .

We always have a choice but we don't decide the consequences.
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post #75 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 12:39 PM
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Too sick to work a lot of the time. Losing the ability to eat. Can't afford medication or therapy. Money is running out. Homelessness looms. Insomnia, nightmares, graphic intrusive thoughts of death and violence, suicidal ideation, anxiety attacks, obsessions, phobias, tinnitus, hallucinations, problems with my family, increasing inability to communicate with anyone (incl online), extremely negative mood, intolerable feelings of envy, self-alienation, depersonalization, isolation, loneliness, hopelessness, and despair. But when I finally snap, it's gonna be glorious, hahaha!

In science, ideology tends to corrupt; absolute ideology [corrupts] absolutely" - Robert Nisbet
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post #76 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 12:51 PM
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I'm currently somewhere around three years on meds and doing great mentally. When my anxiety peaked, I had to drop out college, drank way too much, and too afraid to do anything productive. Now I'm working and about to start back at school in the fall! With my anxiety under control, I no longer have urges to get drunk every night just to calm down. I'm able to go out to the store or to work without uncomfortable anxious feelings. It's been so long since I experienced a panic attack that it almost seems like my anxiety period in my life was a bad dream. I just hope my meds keep working their magic and it never comes back.

May the wind be always at your back.
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post #77 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 01:46 PM
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Not great, but better than ever. As always I'm pleased, but impatient.
Sheesh what I'd give to be back here. The suicidal ideation is a monster right now. On the upside I'm finally very aware of what triggers it. The situation happens, ideation follows. I'm happy the pattern is super clear now so I can start preparing for it when it hits. Also means I can work on it in therapy so the thoughts won't be as persistent. But man thank goodness I'm not super impulsive cause this **** could end somebody who struggles with that.

Miles to go before I sleep.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #78 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 03:44 PM
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More nightmarish than ever. No insurance, need to pay out of pocket for major procedures and eye exams.

My brothers and cousins are all high-achieving young professionals, with top schools, grad/professional degrees, prestigious jobs, and good, bougie, affluent lives.

I don't do much of anything. I'm really held back in life due to depression, anxiety, fatigue, PTSD - and of course, all the condescending treatment, bullying, and multiple stigmas against me, which penalizes me greatly in all life areas.
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post #79 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 09:40 AM
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My life is pretty routine right now, and that's okay. At this point, I'd rather have uneventful than painful.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #80 of 109 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 10:11 AM
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I am a patient boy. I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait.

Our hopes and expectations. Black holes and revelations.
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