Too sick to work a lot of the time. Losing the ability to eat. Can't afford medication or therapy. Money is running out. Homelessness looms. Insomnia, nightmares, graphic intrusive thoughts of death and violence, suicidal ideation, anxiety attacks, obsessions, phobias, tinnitus, hallucinations, problems with my family, increasing inability to communicate with anyone (incl online), extremely negative mood, intolerable feelings of envy, self-alienation, depersonalization, isolation, loneliness, hopelessness, and despair. But when I finally snap, it's gonna be glorious, hahaha!
For forty-seven years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming ... but how?