I wrote something but the page refreshed and deleted it. Ultimately I do the same damn **** everyday. Wake up, rinse repeat, go back to sleep, whatever. Some days I wake up feeling okay, the day feels better, other days I wake up and my world feels like it’s falling apart, then it’s a bad day. It has been like this for years. I worked when I was younger but haven’t had to in a few years, thank god. I don’t even know how make a phone call without days of putting it off, fighting my husband to please make the call instead and ultimately me finally doing it otherwise it’ll never get done. So yeah, definitely unable to function in social situations. The only places I go is dr appointments and the store and the park. I’ve had someone talk to me at the park and it was really strange and hard for me and I wanted to cry.
Sometimes I can be feeling great, but sometimes it just takes one little thing to set me off (I’d say it’s a trigger but that word is so highly used inappropriately that it’s ruined the term). Then my day will be ruined and I will feel depressed for maybe the rest of the day, a few days, weeks. I’m trying to change and get better though, but. I am suffering from ppd really badly.
That sounds rough - I'm sorry to hear that. I've had periods in my life when I couldn't make a phone call too but I can do it okay nowadays. Some days I'll notice that I'm thinking about it and then others I won't be the slightest bit anxious about it.
I think with me it's this bloody mania - to various degrees. It's weird because when its just starting and not too bad the anxiety goes and I feel confident. (probably over-confident if anything) I have the feelings I've described on here a few times - like I want to talk to everyone, buy everything, all that sort of thing. But it gets out of control very quickly and becomes unpleasant.
I never really liked the word "triggered" either - but I've found myself using it lately a few times talking to my wife.
When you mentioned ppd at first it didn't register what it means, but I realise now. That must be really terrible. When I was in this private psych place they had a whole ward for ladies with that. They would come down to the dining room with their strollers and their babies. I think that must be extra hard - because you've got this little baby that needs to be looked after - and he/she obviously isn't aware of how you're feeling - they just need everything done now.
My wife never had that but she was very upset after she had the two miscarriages. (obviously) She even went to a therapist/shrink one time but he was hopeless and sat there looking at his watch. She reminded me of that just the other night. Some of those people are beyond incompetent and should be ashamed of themselves.
I hope things get a bit easier for you anyway.