What is the root cause of shyness in your opinion? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 12:14 AM Thread Starter
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What is the root cause of shyness in your opinion?


Usually people say it's low self esteem but I don't think so. To me it goes like this : shyness > infiriority complex / because you're not as outgoing as other people / > low self esteem > depression. So what is the root cause?
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post #2 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 12:26 AM
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Genetics combined with over protective parents who make you to scared to socialize are what caused it for me.
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post #3 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 12:27 AM
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Usually either genetics or bad experiences. Or both.
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post #4 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 12:33 AM
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Well, what do you mean? That's like asking what the root cause of outgoingness is. Some people are just naturally shy or reserved. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just in their core. It's not because of low self esteem or depression. I mean it could be don't get me wrong, but usually it's just the way they are. The problems come when ones self anxiety or other issues hinder their ability to function in everyday life. There are happy outgoing people, happy shy people, depressed outgoing people, and depressed shy people. Being shy doesn't mean you're depressed and being outgoing doesn't mean you're happy.
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post #5 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 12:35 AM
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Huge ego & low self esteem.
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post #6 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 12:44 AM
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Originally Posted by InfiniteBlaze View Post
Usually either genetics or bad experiences. Or both.
Ditto ^^;
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post #7 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 12:55 AM
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I think you'd have to differentiate shyness from social anxiety. I wasn't exposed to people early on. I was protected from everything. Everyone in my family was loud and spoke for me, so I didn't have to. So I was reserved around new people. I was very shy.

It became unhealthy, I think, when it started making me feel lonely, and I was unable to fix it. I never learned to develop social skills in a natural way. Wondering why I was lonely, could only assume there was something wrong with me. That insecurity is the cause of social phobia, IMO.

As I see it, natural introversion, and shyness, can cause a predisposition to a social anxiety disorder, and complicate it as well. But at the same time, some people with social anxiety would never be seen as externally shy.

Just my thoughts.
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post #8 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 12:56 AM
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For me, it was my experiences rather than genes. I used to be happy and outgoing until bullying started at school. And after that I had even worse experiences, which caused depression and SA
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post #9 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 02:00 AM
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genetics

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post #10 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 04:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gryffindor85 View Post
Genetics combined with over protective parents who make you to scared to socialize are what caused it for me.
Ditto i think. my parents were always over protective because i have bad eye sight so i was pritty restricted on where i could go to meet people aside from fairly close to home.
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post #11 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 04:54 AM
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unrealistic fear of embarassment.

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post #12 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 05:03 AM
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Not knowing how to talk to or deal with people, and never learning how to.
Fear of what people think of me.
Inferiority complex.
Always thinking i'm too ugly for anyone to like.
Over protective parents...who also had social anxiety
Bullying
Self-hatred

That's mine.
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post #13 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 07:09 AM
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For me I think it was a natural shyness combined with being ostracised/ bullied on occasions.

“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
Martin Luther King Jr.

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
- Alexandre Dumas


He will never have true friends who is afraid of making enemies.
- William Hazlitt
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post #14 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 07:17 AM
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Fear of rejection/Peeps not liking me.
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post #15 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 07:57 AM
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Definately genetics for me. I remember my first day of pre-school. I was the only kid too shy to cry.
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post #16 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 07:58 AM
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This doesn't just apply to shyness.

I blame Society. You can't label a person as

weird,creepy,inadequate,unnatural,odd,etc. then expect them to want to be a part

of said society.

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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post #17 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 09:34 AM
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I was shy when I was younger and then in school I had a lot of bad experiences.
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post #18 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 09:37 AM
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Huge ego & low self esteem.
Bingo
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post #19 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 10:36 AM
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horrible experiences. and Im naturally reserved.

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post #20 of 43 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 11:37 AM
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experiences. Probably not genetic, as I can't find this in my parents or grandparents.
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