For me it's awkwardness. I dont know how such a thing can exist but I am a friendly introvert. I really value my alone time, but I do enjoy having conversations with people. That being said I've never been especially good at STARTING conversations. Occasionally I'll chit chat with a stranger, and there's been a few times where I've been invited to a gathering and had the attention of a small crowd of people while telling a story.. but those times are few and far between, especially lately. Part of it is not wanting to appear foolish/embarrass myself, and the other part is not wanting to be STUCK in a conversation with someone because if I'm terrible at starting convos I'm an absolute pro at uncomfortable silences.. I feel like it anyway.
".. go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practising an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something" - Kurt Vonnegut (on creative writing)