What do you use to avoid conversations (if you do)? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 25 (permalink) Old 07-22-2019, 09:07 AM Thread Starter
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What do you use to avoid conversations (if you do)?


I mean when strangers ask you something or you just seem like you don't wanna talk in general??
For me it's my earphones, hat lowered to half my face and hoodie during winter, I even pretended to not know English once :')
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post #2 of 25 (permalink) Old 07-22-2019, 11:10 AM
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yeah I seem like I dont want to talk. I keep my mouth zipped. no one tries to talk to me lol

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post #3 of 25 (permalink) Old 07-29-2019, 07:53 PM
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Start walking faster... like I need to hurry somewhere...
Earphones counts a lot, sometimes I pretend that I don't hear anyone through music even if it's not loud... Sometimes I go even for something like I don't even see them lol...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
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post #4 of 25 (permalink) Old 07-29-2019, 07:59 PM
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I avoid eye contact. I also almost constantly have my headset on in public. If that doesn't deter people, I just say I have somewhere to be and leave. Most strangers don't pursue anything past that point.

Otherwise, I have some stock answers to common questions that are vague enough to not be uncomfortable.
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post #5 of 25 (permalink) Old 07-29-2019, 09:25 PM
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Yeah, avoid eye contact. Pretend I didn't hear them. Most of the time when someone is actively trying to talk to me it's because they are begging for money. Usually happens outside but I even had one guy at the supermarket try to tell me some sob story about how he has no money for gas. I don't even own a car, so I'm not feeling sympathy for that one.

Sometimes there are crazies. Rarely I get someone asking for directions.
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post #6 of 25 (permalink) Old 07-30-2019, 03:01 AM
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It doesn’t happen very often, but I pretend I didn’t hear them or thought they were talking to someone else and keep walking.

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post #7 of 25 (permalink) Old 07-30-2019, 03:53 AM
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Well, random people do not attempt to engage me in conversation very often but I have certainly been known to simply walk away from them and leave them talking to themselves.

With people I know, I don't feel bad about it. I will have standard types of conversations with them but if they start harping on one thing in an annoying fashion or they start pestering me about SA type things, I will walk away from them if I can.

This is one big reason for my avoidant types of patterns. I tend to not do things where I'd be just stuck with annoying people. I spend as little time in tight quarters with annoying people as possible. Example - Being in a car with someone who won't shut up and keeps talking about stupid stuff nobody talks about is a nightmare scenario for me because I am too SA to just tell them to shut up.

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post #8 of 25 (permalink) Old 07-30-2019, 06:13 PM
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I just ignore people. I mean, that's what people do to me if I attempt to make nice, so I don't see the issue. I'm not someone who fits in at all even in the slightest. So it's what I have to do.


I especially hate it when a stranger wants to talk about nothing and then they get mad and beligarent with me for not giving them the reaction they want. I know they're going to react that way, so I preemptively stop that from happening.
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post #9 of 25 (permalink) Old 07-30-2019, 09:16 PM
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Unless I am really upset, I am always keen to have conversations. Hangover from the conversation practice I used to do from therapy, I always get a buzz from it, and people talking to me means I don't have to go through the whole initiation process (which is where the anxiety / rumination and possible avoidance and guilt stuff kicks in). If someone starts a convo with me, then it's all a bonus and I get a little buzz from it usually.

Unfortunately I intimidate the **** out of people, so they don't start conversations with me. And if taken by susprise I think I give off non friendly vibes.

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post #10 of 25 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 07:43 AM
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On the train I used to play my switch. Some people would ask if they could watch. I always found it strange that grown adults would want to watch people on the train playing video games, and I would always laugh and say sure if you really want to, but it would make me extremely uncomfortable. I think I'd honestly rather talk to them than just have them staring at my game
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post #11 of 25 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 08:01 AM
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On the train I used to play my switch. Some people would ask if they could watch. I always found it strange that grown adults would want to watch people on the train playing video games, and I would always laugh and say sure if you really want to, but it would make me extremely uncomfortable. I think I'd honestly rather talk to them than just have them staring at my game
This is pree cute lmao. It just reminds me when I used to watch my brother or old friends play games but never participated.. and sometimes being able to talk about a certain game but having never played it.

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post #12 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-01-2019, 09:16 AM
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Quote:
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On the train I used to play my switch. Some people would ask if they could watch. I always found it strange that grown adults would want to watch people on the train playing video games, and I would always laugh and say sure if you really want to, but it would make me extremely uncomfortable. I think I'd honestly rather talk to them than just have them staring at my game
This is pree cute lmao. It just reminds me when I used to watch my brother or old friends play games but never participated.. and sometimes being able to talk about a certain game but having never played it. [IMG class=inlineimg]/forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_smile_big.png[/IMG]
I guess it is kinda cute! Well, on the bright side, when it leads to conversations it's usually about the game or the switch. When I play smash Bros a lot of people seem to come in to the conversation if they overhear it to talk about the game
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post #13 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-01-2019, 07:51 PM
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I do not avoid the conversations, I feel the obligation to overcome this even though I die of sadness to hear that people tell me that I am the silent guy of my workplace. It will be that I am almost 30 years old that I cannot waste time.
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post #14 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 03:39 AM
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I do not avoid the conversations, I feel the obligation to overcome this even though I die of sadness to hear that people tell me that I am the silent guy of my workplace. It will be that I am almost 30 years old that I cannot waste time.
Very good I was about to post this, also in the same boat as you and am just not having it anymore.
Would you be interested in joining a whatsapp or skype improvement and motivation group?


Anyway my joke answer is to carry a religious book around in my bag and pull it out and start asking them if they would like to know more about my faith
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post #15 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-08-2019, 11:21 AM
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I'm just very ....distant. I don't really talk back to them or prolong the convo. Only saying the bare minimum.


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post #16 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-08-2019, 11:38 AM
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I don't seem to have to do anything any more. I usually engage if they try me, but I guess most just see my visage and body language and it puts them right off.
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post #17 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-08-2019, 01:33 PM
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post #18 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-08-2019, 01:35 PM
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post #19 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-08-2019, 02:19 PM
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