Originally Posted by ShortestRaymond
I've never been on a blind date so I'm really a bit unqualified to give advice, but...
I think I'd ask some questions about their background and what they do, but try to respond to the answers a bit so it's not just an interrogation. As in, 'Oh you're studying pyschology, I read an interesting article the other day about [blah blah]'
Oh you're from [blah blah], I went there once and blah blah] happened.
If they're at all human, they'll be nervous too, so don't freak out if the conversation is a bit awkward at first.
It was kind of stilted but I get the point. I think normally I let that [blah blah] kill me. She seemed like the person with SA a little bit. I'd like to read that article if you by chance have a link.
You got to ask a normal person
Sorry never been on a blind date. Just not my thing
lol badump... tsk....
Hmmm.. Maybe pretend your date is your sibling. You've known them all your life, it's only natural for you to be out with them and chit chatting about things.
Just keep thinking to yourself "how would I talk to (insert comfortable person here)?" and do that. Talk about anything - play off your surroundings (comment on the establishment you're in, your server, the weather, whatever).
Smile, loosen up your shoulders, unfurrow your eyebrows, and don't go into it with any expectations. And as has been mentioned already, your date will probably be nervous themselves. It's only natural.
Good luck.. Let us know how it goes.
The only female I have like that is my mother lol. The whole natural nervousness thing really was true though, Thanks for the advice.
Try to get to know her of course and give detailed answers when she asks you a question. Stay away from the one word or closed ended answers. Also, ask follow up questions and when the topic is starting to get to get dry, then change the subject. Act confindent even if you aren't and try to be relaxed and have fun.
Im not used to acting confident all the time but its something I'll practice.
Take yourself to a restaurant alone. Sit at a table next to a couple. When you sit down at the table do not look at the couple directly but listen in on them. Take notes on what you hear.
I did this yesterday on college campus while in the cafeteria area. I deliberately sit next to groups of people and listen to what they talk about while pretending to study or read.
This is brilliant. Im gonna go do this today.
Think of some interesting things about your life and rehearse talking in detail about them. Don't worry too much about them not being interesting. It doesn't matter, you have to talk about yourself- a hard lesson I'm trying to learn myself.
I tried to use detail and feeling to describe my mundane life.
Whenever you are talking about something always try to elaborate. Doing that can make things turn into jokes and prolong the conversation. We all know 1 word answers are bad lol...
Not like i've been on A date or anything but I notice if someone says something to me in person and I elaborate on it even if I don't really give A crap the conversation continues.
Cool you're going to A hookah bar... Those places are really relaxing
Hookah was great. Definately something i want to do again.
There are a lot of different ways to approach conversation. Try getting to know what she likes, since that will give you stuff to talk about later. There's so much I could say that I'm not sure where to start. Expect things to be awkward at first, since the two of you don't really know one another. And if you give your opinion and she doesn't say anything back right away, don't get too stressed about it, as she'll probably just be contemplating what she's going to say next as well.
I learned to be more comfortable with silence. I don't think you can hold nonstop convo for 2 hours.
Originally Posted by OrganizedChaos
Well, when you first meet, never spark a conversation talking about something that is serious or intense. Just start off casual... such as whats in the environment, how they look, what they're wearing, etc.. And if you can, wordplay is perfect. So sometimes you don't have to talk about any particular subject at all, just play around with the conversation a bit.
I like the idea of word play. Im going to practice simple conversation with people.
Be friendly, casual, and inquisitive. Ask a lot of questions. Show some interest. I haven't been on a date in a long time. I would be excited if I were you.
The most logical and simplest advise I could give anyone is to look at the situation as your getting to know someone. Next time you hangout look at it the same way. SA or not, you will build a bond if you spend time together. It's best to try and get to know the person 1-on-1 basis without others because it'll increase the bonding faster. Building bonds and getting to know eachother takes time but the more time spent together the stronger it becomes. Eventually, if both are participating it just happens and you become friends.
Plus, it's a given that if the person hangs out with you all the time they want to so what else do you have to worry about?
Sometimes it takes time sometimes its instant but I agree.
...and one more thing: don't "just be yourself".
Im always meself but I agree. I cant let SA cripple me.
Interested is interesting. Just ask questions about them and seem genuinely interested and more than likely they will return the sentiment. Be cool though.
Thanks listening improves the conversation triple fold.