Weird stuff we do because of SA - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 09:38 AM
 
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I've always dreaded situations where a class will, for whatever reason, be moved to another location. When I was 7 or 8, my P.E. class had decited to have a class outside... which would've been fine with me if I would've gotten to class early and gone outside with them. But I didn't. I went to try to find the class,...peered out a window...and when I saw the class outside, I turned and walked in the opposite direction... hid in the restroom for awhile...and then when I saw one of my teachers walking by, I ran out to say "hi" to her... and...she ended up finding out that I skipped class. So I got after school detention as a result.
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post #42 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 05:13 PM
 
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I would avoid any situation that would have me interact with people I know, I get really nervous around walking around in the day so I go out at night were people focus on the bright lights rather than me, I always seem to need to have something in my hand because I get tense and cant keep my hands relaxed so I need something to fidle with so people wont see my anxiety.

In school I would just go home for lunch, I never used the school bathrooms even if I really needed to go, I would avoid walking through the crouded hallways and insted I would walk through the less crouded floors even if my class is not on the same level.

I probably the wierdest thing is me still having my winter jacket on when the spring came because I couldn't get used to being without it ( i felt exposed I guess).

I'm striang
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post #43 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 07:12 PM Thread Starter
 
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No...you aren't strange. I know how you feel and why you act the way you do. That is what I am realizing by this forum: that there are so many people like me all over the place even when I have never met anyone with social anxiety. I know this stirs up alot of awful feelings for people but for some reason I feel like this has all been very realistic to me and I have gotten a few things off my chest that I buried away for a long time.

I too will wear sweaters/jackets when it is hot just to avoid the "exposure" and I too have to keep my hands busy or I am afraid people will think something is wrong with the way I hold my hands. I also turn the radio down in my car at a stop light so no one will hear my music and think I am weird. Also, I minimize my window on the computer all the time so people don't know what I am doing. Man all this reiterates that I do have a problem!
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post #44 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 08:13 PM
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I wore my jacket all the time too. My teachers thought my parents were beating me and I was wearing it to cover up the bruises or something.

Don't miss your chance to swim in mystery.
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post #45 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 09:57 PM
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I never ate anything at school, i wasn't comfortable with having people see me eat. I also spent a lot of time in the library. I would forge notes to allow me out of P.E when i had it as a class. One day when i couldn't stand the thought of going to school i hid in an old unused car that we had at the house - i layed sweating in that thing for 6 and a half hours. When 3:30 came i got out, walked in the door like i had just got home from school and noone was any the wiser. Goodness that was such a desperate thing to do. Not that i could have recognised it back then.
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post #46 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 10:23 PM
 
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I ate in the bathroom during lunch in high school. Whenever someone would come in I would stop chewing and stay silent so they wouldn't know someone was eating in the bathroom. Just in case someone became suspicious of me being in the bathroom for so long I would switch to other bathrooms on different floors.

I remember I had an afterschool group thing with four other students. I knew what cars the others drove so I would always check to make sure that at least one other student was there with me so I wouldn't have to be with the teacher by myself. One time I didn't see any other cars so I just went back home.

In elementary school one day my teacher asked me a question and because I was so nervous my voice would not come out and I ended up mouthing what I wanted to say. She thought I was sick and had lost my voice and I was too embarrassed to tell her otherwise so I had her and the class believing I had lost my voice for that day.

After writing this it makes me realize even more that I am pretty foiked up!
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post #47 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 11:06 PM
 
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I pretend to be really spaced out so that people will understand if I don't acknowledge them.
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post #48 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 11:07 PM
 
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It's wonderful!
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post #49 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 11:11 PM
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When I was living on my own for the first time, in graduate school, I often went long stretches without eating (sometimes over 24 hours) because I was terrified to leave my room. And that was in a mostly quiet, sparsely populated off-campus dorm. I never had that problem when I was an undergrad and lived in a loud, raucus, very densely populated building on a loud, raucus, very densely populated campus. Having a roommate and some friends/acquaintances was the difference. No longer having any kind of social group, I was a scared, nervous wreck, and all my worst anxious and agoraphobic tendencies came out.
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post #50 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 11:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymid
When I was living on my own for the first time, in graduate school, I often went long stretches without eating (sometimes over 24 hours) because I was terrified to leave my room. And that was in a mostly quiet, sparsely populated off-campus dorm. I never had that problem when I was an undergrad and lived in a loud, raucus, very densely populated building on a loud, raucus, very densely populated campus. Having a roommate and some friends/acquaintances was the difference. No longer having any kind of social group, I was a scared, nervous wreck, and all my worst anxious and agoraphobic tendencies came out.
I've done the "not eat for a few day things" as well.

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it was all i had, but not all i'd need
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post #51 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 11:34 PM
 
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1. In my apartment at school...my roommate would come to knock on my door and i wouldnt answer and stay real quiet...usually the excuses were i was sleep and didnt hear him or i wasnt in the apartment.

2. eat anyplace other than crowded areas

3. a lotta walking to random places, acting as if i was too busy to stop to socialize ("yea well im bout to go to____I'll talk to u later").

4. did work outside of my room just to make it seem like i wasnt a no life who stayed cooped up in my room all day

5. spend countless amounts of money on clothes cuz i want my "cool" appearance to make up for my lack of social skills, which was pointless cuz im never satisfied with what i buy. seems as though clothes just dont fit me like they fit other ppl or my outfit just doesnt make me look comfotable.

6. got called "smiley" by a TEACHER cuz whenever she said somethin to me i wouldnt know what to say so i just smiled and nodded...but she was kinda cool...but when im at a lost for words i just smile and nod.

7. wont have fun at a party or wouldnt wanna go unless there was alcohol there to loosen me up...which i've been told makes me a fun person and more lively...contemplated being buzzed 24/7 just to take the edge off but never done it...would get expensive to be tipsy everyday and prolly noticable on my campus lol

8. sleep all day and wake up late at night while my roommates weren't in the living room so i could raid the fridge

so many more i could prolly name lol
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post #52 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-10-2006, 01:53 PM
 
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Life would've been easier with at least one SA friend. *sigh* It's easier to find a drinking buddy or smoking buddy, huh.
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post #53 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-10-2006, 02:02 PM
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I skipped classes where I thought I had to give a presentation for during college all the time. I never did that in high school. O_o Though I wanted too. Also lab classes I would skip sometimes as well, okay a lot. How I passed I don't know.

I know you can see me. Bad guys always see me. My plans suck. People die. It's always a mess.
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post #54 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-10-2006, 03:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brokenlight
If I want to use the mirror in a public restroom, and someone else comes in, I hide in a stall and wait for them to leave. I will then try to use the mirror again. If somebody else comes in, I sometimes will go back in a stall until they leave.
I'm out of luck if anyone's in the bathroom and I want to use the mirror. Sometimes I'll take extra time washing my hands, but most of the time I just leave. I just want some privacy. That and I think people will think i'm vain if I look in the mirror. I dont' even wear makeup, I just want to check to make sure everything's ok.

Also, lately I've been walking a roundabout way to certain stores and places so I don't have to walk by homeless people. I don't know if I should give them money, and sometimes when I have do change I'm too scared to approach them. I'm afraid they'll insult me or something, or that they'll say something and I'll have to answer back. If they hate me, there's not much I can do about it, but I figure me just walking by ignoring them would make any of them hate me.

Also, I did have a roomate last year in college, but by the second semester, I wasn't talking to her except for a couple of "hi's" during the day and then "goodnight" when one of us turned off the lights.
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post #55 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-10-2006, 09:40 PM
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Quote:
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I did the whole cafeteria disappearing act, too. Only in my junior and senior year, though. I would go to the library and sit in a chair until it was time for the next class. During my senior year, I would skip days where I had to give reports or presentations (or merely read orally). Can't stand any of it at all.
In addition to that, I've done some other things that apparently other people on this board have done because of SA, too:

I wear a jacket of some sort 24/7 (even in the 100+ degree weather here in Mississippi). It really is a comfort thing for me. It's also because I have body image issues, so if I don't wear a jacket while around other people, I become extremely paranoid and think everyone is talking about how fat I am . I hate it when people ask me why I wear a jacket all the time because I never seem to have an answer. Hopefully, people in college won't care enough to ask.

I also skip eating sometimes just so I don't have to interact with others, even just my family. I've gone days without eating just because I'm too afraid to go into the kitchen to get anything. Hearing my family in the living room laughing and playing makes it worse, because I know if I enter, their enjoyment will be over because they'll be forced to acknowledge me and my drain on their happy-fun-time.

I never use public restrooms, either. They're disgusting and are a pervert's fantasy (All a sicko would have to do is look over the stall and see ... you! or just a quick turn of the neck, if you're one of those brave people who use the urinals).

In class during high school, whenever the teacher would start calling on people to read aloud, I would immediately ask if I could go to the restroom, and I would hide there (never actually using it, of course) for like 20 minutes, hoping the reading session was over. Why do teachers love to call on people to read orally? I cannot stand it. It is the bane of my existance, pretty much. I have no problems with reading comprehension (I made a 30 on the reading part of the ACT! Isn't that sufficient enough?) If my college professors do the whole oral-readathon thing, then I'm going to send them all a letter asking them to never call on me to read aloud because I simply cannot.

I also refuse to ever go out with any of my friends, which has inevitably led to my not having any friends at all. I can't handle social situations. I've explained to them that me being out around people is more of a hassle than a comfort. They all claim that I "just need to get out more." I wish I could curse people with SA for just a week to let them see how it is.

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Things I have tried:
Lexapro, Zoloft, Celexa, Prozac, Paxil, Effexor XR, Remeron, Wellbutrin SR, Eskalith CR, Topamax, Valium, Xanax, Ativan, Ambien, Restoril, Desyrel, Ritalin, Adderall, Dexedrine, Inderal, Lopressor, Thorazine, Lamictal, Abilify, Depakote, Geodon, Seroquel, doxepin, chloral hydrate
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post #56 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-10-2006, 10:45 PM
 
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-I hate wearing short-sleeved or tight t-shrits, and will mostly resort to a jacet, even in the summer.
-I wear boys running shorts because the girls ones are too short.
-I never look in the mirror if someone else is in the bathroom- if I really want to look, I wait in the stall until everyone is gone, or wash my hands for a really long time until no one else is there.
-In high school, I would read the news or a magazine or sit at the computer looking busy in the morning or after I ate lunch because I didn't know what to do with myself. If I came to school early, I would walk around the school building and waste time in all the bathrooms, exept if someone else was in there.
-I don't roll the windows down in the car, ever...
-When shopping, I have to go to a checkout with an ugly or old person in it, otherwise I just get too nervous.
-I would always go to bed way early during family gatherings (Christmas, Thanksgiving, summer break, etc) because I didn't know how to socialize with relatives.
-I'm sure I do many, many "weird" things becase of social anxiety, but they've been habits for so long I can't recall any more. It took me while to realize that the above actions were strange to most...
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post #57 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-10-2006, 10:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by estrella
-I never look in the mirror if someone else is in the bathroom- if I really want to look, I wait in the stall until everyone is gone, or wash my hands for a really long time until no one else is there.
I do that too O_o ... i thought i was the only one. And i always like hope i get an old woman, or just a woman at the cash register. Men make me more nervous.
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post #58 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 12:01 AM
 
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In middle-school, I ate outside, even in winter.

I say I'll go to a party, then not go.

When young, I wouldn't laugh in front of others, even when I wanted to.

I switch my status on messenger to "offline" to avoid talking to anyone while I wait for my closest friend to sign on.

I only go into busy stores so that the salespeople will be less likely to talk to me.

I never ask for help.

I always wear headphones when I go out so people won't talk to me and if they do, I can pretend I don't hear them.
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post #59 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 12:09 AM
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I used to hide in a tree and wait for the boys to go past and go home. I got so sick of being up there I just wanted to go home. They would beat me up, and spit on me if they saw me and I'm a female.

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post #60 of 1891 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 10:43 AM
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I hide in the back room whenever my co-workers friends or boyfriends come. Also I used to stare at the floor when I walked to avoid having to look at people.
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